In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with journalist and author Mark Pendergrast to unpack one of the most complex and sensitive issues I see in my work: memory. We explore how memories are formed, how they can shift over time, and how certain therapeutic approaches have contributed to deeply painful family estrangements. Mark shares both his research and his personal story of losing contact with his daughters, offering a perspective that is both informed and deeply human.

We talk about the rise of recovered memory claims, why they became so widespread, and what science actually says about how memory works. I also share what I’m seeing in my practice today, from the influence of therapy culture and social media to the many different pathways that can lead to estrangement. This is a nuanced conversation about truth, perception, and the real-world consequences when those lines get blurred.

Listen for more on:

• Why memory is reconstructive and not a perfect recording of the past
• How suggestive therapy techniques can shape or distort memories
• The difference between forgetting something and never having experienced it
• Why some estrangements are rooted in belief, not verifiable events
• The role of modern therapy culture in shaping family narratives
• How to approach these situations with care, curiosity, and openness
• Why preserving the possibility of dialogue matters more than certainty

If this conversation gave you something to think about, tune into the full episode and share it with someone who could benefit from a deeper understanding of family relationships.

Guest Links:
Website: https://www.markpendergrast.com
Book: Victim of Memory: Incest Accusations and Shattered Lives

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg