There’s one rule in ultra running: Do nothing new on race day.

At the Pedernales Falls 60k, I convinced myself that rule didn’t apply to me. One handheld bottle. No vest. Texas heat. A night race that I thought would get easier once the sun went down.

Instead, every small decision started stacking up.

What began as a simple training run slowly turned into one of the worst physical experiences I’ve ever had on a trail. Throwing up. Severe cramps. Hallucination-like sensations. And the realization that sometimes the race is already over long before you’re willing to admit it.

This is a story about heat, ego, dehydration, bad decisions, and the dangerous space between pushing through and ignoring what your body is trying to tell you.

Music used in this episode:

Assasins creed kind of guitar by AndreyPsyche -- https://freesound.org/s/751593/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

Foggy window view by Jim-Bretherick -- https://freesound.org/s/730265/
-- License: Creative Commons 0

FarmersMarket_1-2.aif by canetoad -- https://freesound.org/s/29924/
-- License: Attribution 4.0

swell pad.wav by ERH -- https://freesound.org/s/34141/
-- License: Attribution 4.0

Time Suspended Cinematic Drone by Mantice by bassimat -- https://freesound.org/s/854837/
-- License: Creative Commons 0

Stoic guitar by AndreyPsyche -- https://freesound.org/s/751614/
-- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

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Visit us at www.exploitsofanobody.com for photos, and episode deep dives.
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/exploits_of_a_nobody/
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I used to think that when I quit drinking for running, everything would change. It would look like growth. I’d become a better, stronger person… taking control of my life. And it would feel like progress.

One day I was looking at the finisher medals hanging on my wall, and I remembered another collection of finisher's medals I had chosen to forget. Three plastic, fake gold plates I had hidden in the garage after I quit drinking. I used to think they had nothing to do with each other. And when i realized they had more in common than I had thought, I was left wondering what to do with that.

I don’t think this is really about running. Or drinking. It’s something else.

To see photos of the plastic plates, my wall of finishers medals, and other photos visit my new web site: www.exploitsofanobody.com

Music and sound effects used in this episode:

acoustic guitar melody #011 by GuitarStringTheory -- https://freesound.org/s/735192/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

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wandering remix of excerpt of Tim Kahn's freesound #796235 by Timbre -- https://freesound.org/s/796818/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0
sanxm by tim.kahn -- https://freesound.org/s/796235/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

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Silent Hill inspired out of tune guitar by Destructo20 -- https://freesound.org/s/718498/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

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Heartbeats 61.wav by patobottos -- https://freesound.org/s/369017/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

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crowded bar chatter by leaving.february -- https://freesound.org/s/706352/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

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cinematic remix of audiomirage's freesound 547966.wav by Timbre -- https://freesound.org/s/548257/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

The-Sluth-714 by audiomirage -- https://freesound.org/s/547966/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

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Vintage Microwave Timer Bell Ring - 26 November ‎2011, ‏‎11:39:00 P.M. by crz1990 -- https://freesound.org/s/135873/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

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Midwestern style riff by Destructo20 -- https://freesound.org/s/647385/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

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Pinkish remix of ChristmasKrumble666's freesound 825397 by Timbre -- https://freesound.org/s/826863/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

TC Birthday Song.wav by ChristmasKrumble666 -- https://freesound.org/s/825397/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Visit us at www.exploitsofanobody.com for photos, and episode deep dives.
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/exploits_of_a_nobody/
and https://www.instgram.com/shutter_se7en

Signing up for the Big Bend 100K, I daydreamed about finishing faster, about racing. For years I battled the voices in my head, perfection, and the habit of settling for just finishing. This time something shifted.

This isn’t a story of redemption. It’s a story about what happens when the pieces finally come together — and you let it happen.

Music and sound effects used in this episode:

Stoic guitar by AndreyPsyche -- https://freesound.org/s/751614/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

Sick guitar dissonat withh airy vox by AndreyPsyche -- https://freesound.org/s/751612/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

Crowd_Cheering.wav by ken788 -- https://freesound.org/s/386762/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Piano loops 203 octave long loop 120 bpm by josefpres -- https://freesound.org/s/845352/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Donkey braying.wav by LeandiViljoen -- https://freesound.org/s/502081/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 3.0Small group talking at lunch.m4a by guyburns -- https://freesound.org/s/434596/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

WHICH WAY (ON THE VERGE) by MadGravityStudio -- https://freesound.org/s/749383/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Everybody Has a Story (pensive cello & choir) by SondreDrakensson -- https://freesound.org/s/749371/ -- License: Attribution 4.0555723

Visit us at www.exploitsofanobody.com for photos, and episode deep dives.
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/exploits_of_a_nobody/
and https://www.instgram.com/shutter_se7en