You can do everything “right” and still end up trapped with someone who is building a double life. Shauna, originally from Wexford and living in London, walks us through how a match on Tinder turns into a fast moving relationship that looks perfect on paper, while underneath it is powered by love bombing, manipulation, and control.

We talk openly about the pieces people often miss: the early red flags like constant stories about a “crazy ex”, anger that shows up in public, and the subtle intimidation that starts to shrink your world. Shauna explains how financial abuse and hidden debt create panic and dependency, how monitoring can be disguised as caring, and how gaslighting can leave you doubting your own memory and judgement. We also discuss the very real danger of strangulation, why it is treated as a serious risk marker, and what it feels like to realise your relationship has moved from unhappy to life threatening.

From there, Shauna shares what helped her get free: using Clare’s Law, speaking to police, navigating long court timelines, and the impact of a ten year restraining order. We zoom out to the bigger question too, how communities, sports clubs, and friend groups can enable abusers when they prioritise comfort and reputation over safety.

This weeks episode is sponsored by Ivory Rowe visit Ivoryrowe.myshopify.com for more information.

If this conversation makes you think of someone, share it with them. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what policy or cultural change you want to see next, what would real zero tolerance look like where you live?

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Drag can look like pure sparkle, but the real story is often grit. We’re joined by Dublin drag queen Davina Devine, who brings us from Ringsend to The George and back again, unpacking what it means to build a life in Irish nightlife while keeping the person underneath protected. We chat about how a shy, watchful kid becomes a performer, why the “mystery” around her isn’t a gimmick, and how creating an alter ego can be both freedom and armour.

Things get raw as we talk about Pride in Ireland, street comments like “disgusting”, and the way online hate and misinformation have shifted the mood in recent years. Davina shares why she still tries to lead with kindness, how visibility itself becomes a quiet kind of activism, and why minorities often take the first hit when people feel unheard. We also get into the reality of showing up anyway, even when you’re just trying to get from A to B and live your life with dignity.

Alongside the big themes, there’s plenty of crack: tales of celebrity encounters, the best and worst diva moments, and the joy of meeting an idol who treats you like a human. Davina also opens up about a brand-new ADHD diagnosis and how it explains the “hurricane” pace that helped her survive, create, and keep moving. If you care about Irish drag culture, LGBTQ+ Ireland, Dublin nightlife, and the cost and value of being seen, you’ll want to hear this one. Subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review, what part of Davina’s story hit closest to home for you?

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Davina Devine’s story is rooted in Ringsend, Dublin, a place she describes as once overlooked and “in limbo” between neighbourhoods. That sense of being between worlds becomes a theme: growing up with a musician dad always gigging and a quiet mum at home, she learns how performance and privacy can sit side by side. She talks about feeling like an “old soul”, an adult child who stayed pristine, watched everything, and felt a step ahead of other kids. It is a familiar feeling for many LGBTQ+ people in Ireland who sense difference early but do not yet have language for it, especially when home, school, and wider culture are slow to offer safe, open space.

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Family court can feel like a circus when you’re walking in with a broken heart, no sleep, and a head full of “what ifs”. We talk to Paddy, one of the people behind TalkToUs.ie, and Nicole, the creator of Courtwise, about what actually helps when you’re facing separation, divorce, maintenance questions, and child access disputes in Ireland. Their goal is simple: take you out of the dark place, help you understand the system, and get you moving with a plan that protects your mental health and your children.

We get practical about the day-to-day realities of the Irish family law process: the fear of Dolphin House, the intimidation of sitting near an ex-partner, and the frustration of changing judges and endless adjournments. Paddy explains how their group supports men and women, why they teach people to become confident lay litigants, and how to instruct a solicitor instead of being steamrolled by one. We also dig into the in-camera rule, why it exists, and why so many people believe it can hide bad practice and inconsistent outcomes.

Nicole shares what a multi-year court battle does to your life, and why evidence wins over storytelling. We unpack parental alienation, breaches of access orders, and why detailed notes can protect you years later when a child asks what really happened. We also cover “voice of the child” assessments and section reports, typical costs, and concerns about questionable expert credentials. If you’re co-parenting after a split, this conversation offers clear guidance, hard truths, and genuine solidarity.

If this helps, please subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents in Ireland can find it. What part of the court process do you wish someone had explained to you sooner?

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