• Kate and Rachel dive into the Dr Allison Daminger interview to discuss how you can really share the cognitive labor. Listen now to hear our tips on how to

  1. Define your own balance.

  2. Rewrite norms takes parental leave for all AND revised norms.

  3. Discover what motivates both of you to change your family script?

  4. Schedule a regular check-in.

  5. Be aware of ALL social barriers.

• Want more language on the difference between cognitive labor, emotional labor, and the mental load? Check out this article by Kate.

  Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.

  And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have a crowdfunding campaign live for the next 2 weeks. We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
  Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

The household divide is greater than we think it is. It’s so much more than the physical tasks - it’s all the thinking and feeling work that goes along with the physical work. And that is why we feel it so deeply; we have an emotional reaction to household labor because household tasks are far more than cooking and cleaning.

Kate and Rachel are joined this week by Dr. Allison Daminger, an assistant professor of sociology at UW-Madison and the author of the new book What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. Her research focuses on how and why gender shapes family dynamics, particularly the division of work and power in couples.

In this conversation, Kate & Rachel ask Allison all about cognitive labor (a term, by the way, that SHE defined) particularly in the context of parenting and household responsibilities. This interview was perfectly timed, as Allison herself is a new mom and, with her partner, is working to put theory into practice.

Get your copy of What’s On Her Mind: https://www.allisondaminger.com/book

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this coaching edit, Kate and Rachel break down key themes from their interview with Marvyn.

Marvyn Harrison is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity.

1. The work starts with you… and continues with others

2. We need to acknowledge that society makes parenting hard for men

3. Focus on who you are NOW - not the PAST You

4. What are the economics of Equal Partnership

5. Is it boundaries or balance that you need?

6. To be a great parent, you need to be a PALS first. Listen to find out exactly what that means

Dad groups are new-ish! If you’re looking for one to join (or be inspired about starting your own) check out these existing groups:

• Dope Black Dads

• All Parents Welcome

• Andy’s Man Club

• Dad Matters

• The Company of Dads

• Brooklyn Stoller Club

• Dad Guild

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Rachel and Kate are joined by Marvyn Harrison. Marvyn is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity. In today’s interview, Marvyn helps us all see the way that society closes gates for fathers… and what we can all do to change that.

Discover Marvyn's community: https://dopeblack.org/

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview, launching next week.

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Last week, we interviewed Zach Watson. Zach is an invisible labour coach who helps men understand and share the mental load of domestic responsibilities with their partners. And his interview gave us great fodder for this week’s coaching edit.

1. Give yourself permission to fail.

2. What words would you actually use with your spouse / partner?

3. What to include in the weekly check-in.

4. Why are men motivated to be equal-ish at home?

5. How to find your people, and find support.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Are men choosing to ignore the mental load because they subconsciously still believe it is women’s work? Rachel and Kate try to answer that question with this week’s guest, Zach Watson.

Zach is a former middle school math teacher turned viral content creator and invisible labor coach for modern dads. Zach’s marriage nearly ended in 2018 because he was in default mode and letting his wife do it all. Now he talks very openly about how that happened, what he is doing to make changes, and why other men might be motivated to take household equality seriously.

Known for his honest, often hilarious take on the mental load in parenting, Zach speaks from real experience. And as a result now has over 120 million views and a growing community of ‘recovering man-children,’ through sharing his practical tools and relatable stories.

Zach Watson Instagram

Zach Watson YouTube Channel

Zach Watson Facebook

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this first Equal-ish coaching edit, we unpack our interview with Molly Millwood. We reflect on why today’s parents, especially mothers, are more stretched than ever, with full-time working mums spending more hours parenting now than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. We explore how social norms around “good mothers” and “good fathers” create impossible standards, and why reframing the question “what does it mean to be a good parent?” can transform household dynamics.We dive head first into one of the biggest relationship challenges Molly sees in her work: emotional disconnect. Why do men report feeling emotionally affirmed twice as often as women, and how can couples bridge that gap?

Listen to hear some great practical coaching tips to build deeper emotional connection.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.

Read Brain Training: ⁠https://hbr.org/2023/11/how-paternity-leave-helps-dads-brains-adapt-to-parenting ⁠

Meet Kate & Rachel here: ⁠https://linktr.ee/equalish⁠

Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold today: ⁠https://www.mollymillwood.com/book⁠

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.

Thank you,Rachel & Kate

In this conversation with psychologist and author of To Have and To Hold, Molly Millwood, we explore how reciprocity in relationships can feel so hard to achieve. We unpack with Molly the subtle ways women are socialized to give away power, why women’s “free time” so often includes caregiving, and how unequal dynamics impact both mothers and fathers. Together we reflect the hidden costs for men who disconnect from early fatherhood, and the damage relationships can suffer if these imbalances go unaddressed.

Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish

Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold today: https://www.mollymillwood.com/book

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.

Thank you,

Rachel & Kate