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When a doctor's call on a lazy Sunday afternoon revealed that his wife Lynn had stage four lung cancer, Tony Stewart's world imploded. What followed was a six-year rollercoaster of clinical trials, spine surgeries, moments of hope and crushing setbacks as they navigated life with terminal illness.

Throughout Lynn's cancer journey, Tony took on the role of dedicated caregiver, tracking treatments and attending appointments while attempting to maintain his own career. But beneath his composed project manager exterior, he was crumbling. It wasn't until a series of personal accidents culminated in an emotional breakdown that Tony finally admitted the truth, he couldn't do it alone.

Tony speaks with remarkable candour about the reality of grief following Lynn's death. Despite their years of preparation and beautiful final conversations, the loss plunged him into an abyss of emotion that defied his expectations. "I will grieve Lynn for my entire life," he reflects. "The challenge is finding a way to live your new life even while you are still grieving."

The most controversial chapter of Tony's story emerged just months after Lynn's passing, when an unexpected connection with a woman named Cordelia blossomed into romance. Their relationship, founded on a shared understanding of loss, brought both healing and intense guilt. Tony describes the complex emotions of finding joy amid grief, and the judgment he faced from some friends who felt he had moved on "too soon."

What makes this conversation truly exceptional is Tony's willingness to reveal the messiness of the human experience. His journey challenges our cultural assumptions about grief timelines and reminds us that healing rarely follows a predictable path. Through his book "Carrying the Tiger" and conversations like this one, Tony offers a lifeline to others navigating similar terrain, particularly men, who often lack models for expressing grief openly.

Have you experienced grief that didn't follow the "expected" timeline? Share your story or grab a copy of "Carrying the Tiger" to continue this important conversation about love, loss, and finding your way forward.

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Music Credit: Cody Martin - Sunrise (first 26 episodes) then custom made for me.

Disclaimer: The views, opinions, and stories shared on this podcast are personal to the host and guests and are not intended to serve as professional advice or guidance. They reflect individual experiences and perspectives. While we strive to provide valuable insights and support, listeners are encouraged to seek professional advice for their specific situations. The host and production team are not responsible for any actions taken based on the content of this podcast.