
Ep. 52 - How We Stopped Fighting About Work
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Marriage and business make for a volatile mix, as Sy and Sara Kirby candidly reveal in this vulnerable exploration of conflict communication and emotional safety. After nearly a decade of working side-by-side in their blue-collar business, they've weathered storms that would sink many relationships – and emerged with hard-won wisdom about keeping both enterprises afloat.
The couple pulls back the curtain on their evolution from "loud and fast" arguments in early marriage to more methodical disagreements now, sharing how they've created systems that work for their opposite communication styles. Sy, the emotional pursuer who wants to resolve issues immediately, has learned to give space to Sara, who needs time to process before engaging. Their bathroom has become neutral territory for these crucial conversations, away from kids and distractions.
What makes this episode particularly valuable is their practical approach to preventing work-home bleedthrough. "When you work with your spouse," Sara explains, "all the problems at home are still problems when you go to the office, and all the problems at work are still problems at home." Their solution? Creating dedicated spaces where business talk is off-limits, allowing them to fully engage as spouses and parents.
Perhaps most powerfully, they share their weekly "marriage calendar check" strategy and challenge listeners to use the "pause button" technique during heated moments. By acknowledging that feelings are never wrong while recognizing that emotions can lead you down unhelpful paths, they've developed a framework for resolving conflicts without destroying what matters most.
Whether you work with your spouse or simply struggle with keeping work stress from damaging your relationship, this raw, honest conversation offers both comfort and practical tools to strengthen your connection during life's inevitable conflicts.
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