This week Facebook memories shared a couple of videos I posted this time last year about my experience dating in my 40s, all of the trauma most of us are sifting through in our lives in an attempt to be happy and possibly find someone to share that happiness with, and the realization that trying to date at this point in life is filled with challenges that did not exist in our 20s.

The truth is most of us who have found ourselves unexpectedly single in our 40s are recovering from trauma from past relationships, just now digging into issues that have shaped us from our childhood, and learning not only how to understand ourselves, but how to navigate that awareness while simultaneously trying to navigate someone else's experiences that have shaped their thoughts, beliefs, feeling and fears.

Its ugly. It's messy. But it's also a great opportunity for practice in becoming the best version of ourselves as each interaction can bring awareness to places where healing is needed and provide an opportunity to choose differently this time.

Because that is how you break patterns...by making a new choice when faced with familiar circumstances.

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