In this episode of Thriving Not Surviving, Helen Valentino speaks with Rick Kahler — certified Financial Therapist, IFS Practitioner, and pioneer in integrating money and emotional healing. Together, they explore Internal Family Systems (IFS), a model that views every part of us — even the inner critic — as holding good intentions.

Rick shares how IFS transformed his work, offering a compassionate, non-advisory approach that helps clients understand their inner “parts” and gently unburden their emotional wounds. Their conversation spans money scripts (beliefs about money shaped in childhood), financial anxiety, and the truth that healing around money is rarely just about money.

They also touch on Rick’s personal journey parenting through gender transitions — the grief, the growth, and the importance of community support through profound change.

This is a powerful conversation about self-compassion, transformation, and the deep connection between our financial behaviours and the emotional stories we carry — and how we can begin to rewrite them.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• IFS sees all parts as protective, even the ones that cause distress.

• Unburdening in IFS releases inherited or childhood-based beliefs.

• Money scripts often unconsciously shape adult financial behaviours.

• Financial therapy blends practical knowledge with emotional insight.

• Psychodrama offers healing through re-enactment and safe expression.

• Parenting children through gender transition involves grief, growth, and love.

• Self-compassion and community are vital in navigating change.

📖 Referenced Reading

• The Financial Therapy Podcast – It’s Not Just About the Money

• Kahler, R. S., & Glass, M. (2023). The New Kid on the Block: IFS-Informed Financial Therapy. Journal of Financial Therapy, 14(1), 7.

• Kaplan, D., & Kahler, R. (2023). From Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy: Financial Therapy for Couples through an IFS Lens. Coupleship Publications, LLC.

• Redfern, E., & Foot, H. (2023). Freeing Self: IFS Beyond the Therapy Room – Chapter 6: IFS-Informed Financial Therapy. B.C. Allen Publishing & Tonic Books.

• Advanced Wellbeing, LLC – Explore IFS-Informed Financial Therapy at: Advanced Wellbeing

• Klontz, T., Klontz, B., & Kahler, R. (2008). The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship with Money. Health Communications, Inc. Helping you align your financial path with your spiritual and emotional well-being.

🎧 For full transcription, contact: helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk

🎵 Music: Pixabay – “Upbeat Acoustic” by Stockaudios

🎨 Cover art: Dave Champagne

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