Transform What L.O.S.E.R. Means: Separating Identity from Inheritance

A mental health deep-dive into setting emotional boundaries with unhealed parents

“You’re just like your dad.” That sentence stuck to me for years. It shaped how I saw myself, how I explained my mistakes, how I stayed quiet when I should’ve spoken.

This episode opens with a letter from my mother—a clipping from an old Anne Landers column—and a full-on gut check about love, attention, and who I had to be to survive. What followed was a shift I didn’t expect: I saw how much of my identity came from stories I never agreed to live out.

This episode covers: — Guilt vs. remorse, and why one leads to healing while the other keeps you stuck — How to set boundaries with unhealed parents without losing your center — The story of an ex-con who believed he was destined to lose — What happens when you reclaim the labels that were used against you

You’ll also hear the real reason I made a shirt with the word L.O.S.E.R. on it—because owning your story doesn’t always start with healing. Sometimes, it starts with calling the thing what it is and walking through it anyway.

If you were raised in a home where boundaries felt like betrayal, or you’ve ever felt responsible for someone else’s emotional wellbeing, this episode is for you.

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