That phrase has been everywhere, “If they wanted to, they would." And yes, it has truth in it. But can we talk about how this oversimplified dating advice is missing some major pieces?

In this nuanced conversation, I'm breaking down what happens when someone does want to show up for you but doesn't know how. When trauma responses are louder than intentions. When there's a gap between what they feel and what they can actually express.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• The truth AND the limitations of popular dating advice

• How emotional capacity fluctuates and affects relationships

• Why trauma responses can make "wanting to" and "being able to" two different things

• The difference between communication gaps and genuine disinterest

• When to apply the phrase vs. when to dig deeper

• How to have conversations that get to the root of what's actually happening

This episode is for you if:

• You've written someone off using this phrase but wonder if you missed something

• You're tired of oversimplified relationship advice that ignores human complexity

• You want to distinguish between someone who won't show up vs. someone who's struggling to learn how

• You're navigating your own healing while trying to build healthy connections

• You need tools for deeper conversations beyond surface-level assumptions

Real relationships require more nuance than a motivational quote. Sometimes people disappoint you no matter what. Sometimes they surprise you with growth when you create space for honest conversation.

Your job is to stay connected to your needs while holding space for the beautiful complexity of human experience.

🎧Tune in now!

New journal: "I Miss Me: A Journal for the Version of You You've Been Neglecting"

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Connect with me:

Youtube channel:⁠ ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@movingbeyondyou⁠⁠

Instagram:⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/iamsamantha.a/⁠⁠

Tiktok:⁠ ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@movingbeyondyou⁠⁠

Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@movingbeyondyou⁠

#DatingAdvice #RelationshipNuance #EmotionalCapacity #TraumaInformed #CommunicationSkills #HealthyRelationships #HumanComplexity #emotionalincompatibility