In this week’s episode, I sit down with my 83-year-old mom, Martha (who I bribed with a brownie) for a wide-ranging conversation that spans queerness, Catholicism, grid logic, Palestine, and Pac-Man.

Well… this turned out to be more intense than I anticipated... what starts as a cozy chat between mother and daughter unspools into a much deeper exploration on how we inherit beliefs about gender, faith, politics, and identity—and what it takes to unlearn them and why it’s helpful to us.

We discuss grid logic, how binaries and dominant narratives get reproduced (often without our consent), how we return to our intuitive selves, and how cultivating humility and presence can disrupt the systems that keep us divided.

You’ll hear us laugh (I cry a little) and get fired up about stuff (mostly me), ultimately arriving with more questions than answers.

This episode includes discussion of sensitive and complex topics such as queerness, intersex erasure, religion, and the ongoing genocide in Palestine. We do our best to hold multiple truths in this episode and we do it very imperfectly.

Let me be clear: I am in solidarity with both Palestinian and Jewish lives. I unequivocally oppose antisemitism and the occupation and genocide happening in Palestine.

There are threads here, especially around intersex identity, trans embodiment, and the deeper geopolitics of Palestine and Israel that deserve more time, care, and nuance than we could fully hold in this one conversation. We didn’t get to unpack as much as I would have liked.

When it comes to intersex identity, I want to name clearly that intersex people have historically been erased, pathologized, and subjected to non-consensual medical procedures in the name of “normalcy.” This is part of what we mean when we talk about binaries and discomfort with the spectrum of embodiment. It’s a vast topic that deserves more space than we had time to give here and I am no expert.

Please research yourself and remain open, curious, and willing to learn.

All of our reflections are rooted in lived experience, not expertise, and we’re both constantly learning and unlearning. My hope is that this episode sparks reflection, dialogue, and deeper listening—encouraging us all to keep unlearning and learning together, one day at time, even when it’s messy (and when we’ll probably need to make amends.)

I do hope you’ll stay curious, do your own research, and seek out voices and resources from those directly impacted—especially when it comes to issues of identity, colonization, and liberation.

As always, take what works and leave the rest.

xSylvia