"In as little as..."

Four words doing an enormous amount of heavy lifting.

This week Jon and Dan go after the sneakiest phrase in advertising. An engineer could be with you in as little as 20 minutes. Could be. In as little as. Which technically means anything from 20 minutes to the heat death of the universe, and they've said nothing wrong.

Holidays from as little as £99, which turns out to be a Tuesday in February, one way, no bag, no seat, and you're leaving from an airport nowhere near the city it claims to serve.

It's not a lie. That's the annoying part. It's just a number they've found once, waved at you, and legally attached the word "little" to.

Who decided food needed to change shape?

This week Jon and Dan take on modern food and the ridiculous forms it now arrives in. Burgers stacked so high you you've got two options: take the whole thing apart like a flat pack wardrobe, or unhinge your jaw like a snake attempting a rabbit. Bread that's gone wide and short, so half of it sits above the toaster looking smug and pale while the rest burns. And deconstructed food, where you pay restaurant prices for the privilege of assembling your own dinner on a slate.

Nobody asked for any of this. Nobody.

Trains. Modern miracle of engineering, or the most expensive way to stand in a stranger's armpit?

This week Jon and Dan get on board with the great British rail experience. The delays that somehow become your fault. Ticket prices that cost more than a flight abroad. The bloke who keeps his rucksack on in a packed carriage and takes out three people every time he turns round. Carriages so full you are basically holding someone else up. And the person who decided rush hour was the ideal moment to unwrap something hot and smelly.

If you have ever stared at a departure board and quietly lost your mind, this one is for you.

New episodes every Monday.

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