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Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

著者： Danielle Ireland
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10月19日まで。※適用条件あり
Don't Cut Your Own Bangs is a cozy corner of the internet for high-functioning humans with big feelings — the capable ones who get things done but quietly wonder if something's missing. If you're the unicorn in a power suit (or a perfectly neutral sweater), building a life that looks "right" on paper but still craving something freer and more alive — you're in the right place. Hosted by therapist and author Danielle Ireland, this show feels like sitting on the couch with your best friend — if your best friend happened to be a therapist. Together, we untangle burnout, anxiety, pressure, and comparison, and learn how to turn emotions into allies instead of obstacles. This is a space for comfort, community, clarity — and a few laughs along the way. Because you deserve calm without having to earn it.2025 個人的成功 社会科学 自己啓発
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  • What If You're Allowed to Be Bad at It?

    What If You're Allowed to Be Bad at It?
    2026/10/12
    What If You're Allowed to Be Bad at It? With Alice O'Connell, founder of Learning to Knit

    Have you ever decided you weren't creative, coordinated, artistic, or naturally good at something—before you'd really given yourself a chance to learn?

    What if you don't have to be good at something for it to be good for you?

    In this episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, Danielle Ireland sits down with Alice O'Connell, founder of Learning to Knit, to explore why being a beginner can feel so uncomfortable as an adult—and why that discomfort might be exactly where something wonderful begins.

    After more than 20 years teaching people to knit, Alice has noticed a remarkable pattern: someone can learn an entirely new skill, make something with their own hands, and immediately point out the one imperfect stitch.

    Sound familiar?

    Together, Danielle and Alice explore perfectionism, creativity, self-judgment, the pleasure of making something simply because it feels good, and what happens when we stop confusing "I haven't learned this yet" with "I'm not capable of learning it."

    Alice also shares how knitting became a steady source of comfort and connection during her breast cancer treatment, helping her hold on to a sense of herself beyond being a patient.

    And toward the end, the conversation takes a beautiful turn: what if undoing something doesn't mean destroying it? What if it simply means giving yourself the material to begin again?

    In This Episode

    • Why adults turn the discomfort of learning into judgments about their abilities and identities.

    • How perfectionism can steal the celebration from something we've just accomplished.

    • What creativity, repetitive handwork, and being a beginner can offer when life feels overwhelming.

    • How knitting helped Alice navigate anxiety, treatment, and identity during breast cancer.

    • Why unraveling something doesn't have to mean losing everything you've created.

    A Little Gift for Listeners

    Curious about learning to knit? Alice has generously offered Don't Cut Your Own Bangs listeners 10% off her prerecorded beginner knitting course.

    Discount code: Bangs2026

    https://www.learntoknit.nl/pre-recorded-knitting-lessons

    One Question to Take With You

    What's something you've wanted to try but quietly talked yourself out of because you decided you weren't the kind of person who could do it?

    Maybe wanting to try is enough of a reason to begin.

    Connect With Alice

    Website: learntoknitonline.com

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntoknitonline/

    Pinterest: https://nl.pinterest.com/learntoknitonline/

    Bestselling (Pre-recorded) Beginner Knitting Course: https://www.learntoknit.nl/pre-recorded-knitting-lessons

    Connect With Danielle

    • Website: https://danielleireland.com

    • Podcast episodes: https://danielleireland.com/podcast/

    • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

    • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs

    • Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq

    • Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922

    • Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal

    • Wrestling a Walrus: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

    About Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

    Hosted by therapist and speaker Danielle Ireland, Don't Cut Your Own Bangs helps high-functioning people with big feelings understand what's happening inside and find small, doable ways to feel calmer, clearer, and more connected—without making self-improvement another full-time job.
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    54 分
  • Worth Repeating: What Is Your Frustration Telling You?

    Worth Repeating: What Is Your Frustration Telling You?
    2026/10/05

    Why am I so frustrated with everyone lately?

    Sometimes frustration isn't a sign that you need to calm down, be more patient, or get over it. Sometimes it's information—pointing toward a need you haven't named, a boundary you haven't honored, or something that simply isn't working for you anymore.

    This week, I'm bringing back a solo episode from the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs archive because I still come back to this idea all the time:

    Your emotions are information. And frustration is no exception.

    In this episode, I'm working through frustration in real time after an experience left me feeling like my time wasn't being respected. I also share a completely different kind of frustration from a family trip—one where I felt irritated, trapped, and responsible for everyone around me.

    Two different situations. Same question:

    What is my frustration trying to tell me?

    Because the goal isn't to convince yourself that you shouldn't feel frustrated. It's to get curious enough to understand what's underneath it—and decide what, if anything, you want to do differently.

    In This Episode
    • Why frustration is often connected to something underneath the irritation
    • How an unmet need can quietly turn into resentment toward the people around you
    • The difference between noticing someone else's behavior and recognizing your own agency
    • How to use "I can, I want, I need, I will" to move from frustration toward clarity
    • Why respecting your own time, needs, and limits matters even when someone else doesn't
    Try This

    The next time you notice yourself thinking:

    Why am I so irritated?

    Instead of immediately trying to talk yourself out of it, start here:

    I'm frustrated about…
    I feel…

    Then, remembering that you cannot control another person:

    I can…
    I want…
    I need…
    I will…

    You don't need to have the perfect answer. You're giving the feeling enough room to become information.

    A Question to Take With You

    What might your frustration be asking you to notice that you've been trying to talk yourself out of?

    Maybe nothing needs to be blown up, fixed, or decided today.

    Maybe something is calling for your attention.

    If This Episode Helped

    Follow Don't Cut Your Own Bangs so these conversations are waiting for you when you need them. And if someone in your life has been saying, "I don't know why I'm so irritated lately," send this episode their way.

    Sometimes feeling understood is the first step toward understanding what needs to change.

    Connect with Danielle

    Website:
    https://danielleireland.com

    YouTube:
    https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

    Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs

    Treasured Journal:
    https://danielleireland.com/journal

    Wrestling a Walrus:
    https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

    Spotify:
    https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq

    Apple Podcasts:
    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922
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    19 分
  • Who Said You "Should" Be That?

    Who Said You "Should" Be That?
    2026/09/28
    Have you ever felt like you should be further along, more certain, or better at something by now? Sometimes the pressure to have it figured out doesn't come from what we actually want—it comes from a story about who we think we're supposed to be. In this conversation, Danielle sits down with therapist, minister, speaker, and founder of Owens Counseling and Consulting, Rev. Hazel Owens, MDiv., LMFT, to talk about what happens when we stop treating expertise like a finish line. Together, they explore perfectionism, curiosity, fear, alignment, authenticity, and the surprising freedom of becoming a beginner again. Hazel shares why she intentionally remains a student of her work, how she decides which opportunities actually belong to her, and why she's learned to turn every anxious "what if?" into an "even if." This is a conversation about owning what you know without pretending you know everything—and learning to recognize when the person you're trying hardest not to disappoint is costing you your relationship with yourself. In This Episode Why becoming more experienced doesn't have to mean becoming more certain—and how staying curious can make us better at what we do.How perfectionism can become an attempt to outrun rejection, abandonment, or the fear that we aren't enough.Why Hazel asks "Who said that?" whenever she hears herself—or a client—say, "I should be…"How to distinguish a genuinely good opportunity from something that is actually aligned with you.Why turning "What if?" into "Even if…" can help you move toward something meaningful without waiting for fear to disappear. Hazel describes her commitment to remaining a student throughout her career and the openness it has created in her work and opportunities. Three Things to Take With You 1. A good thing doesn't have to be your thing. Hazel has learned to ask whether an opportunity is actually aligned with who she is and the mission of her life—not simply whether it looks impressive from the outside. Because when something isn't aligned, she notices herself beginning to perform rather than genuinely show up. And as Hazel puts it: "Just because it's a good thing doesn't mean it's my thing." You added something I love just as much: some of the best things in your life haven't required you to convince yourself that you wanted them. Sometimes all that internal persuading is information. 2. Pay attention to the word "should." When Hazel hears: I should be further along. I should be doing this. I should have figured this out. Her response is: "To who? Who said that?" Because sometimes the standard we're working so hard to meet doesn't actually belong to us. And trying to earn belonging by meeting somebody else's expectations can quietly become a form of self-betrayal. 3. You don't have to eliminate fear before you move. Before Hazel left a career she loved and returned to school, she had plenty of fears and what ifs. Instead of waiting for those fears to disappear, she began answering them: What if I don't have enough money? Even if I don't have enough money… Eventually, she asked herself an even bigger question: "If I removed every single fear—if every fear was gone—would I still do this?" The answer helped her separate what she wanted from what she was afraid of. Any time I find myself or even one of my clients say, 'Well, I should be,' my question is always, 'To who? Who said that?'" — Hazel Owens Pull-Over-the-Car Insight In trying so hard to avoid someone else rejecting or abandoning us, we can end up abandoning ourselves. That connection emerges when you recognize that the perfectionistic part of you may be trying to "outrun or prevent abandonment," and Hazel connects it to the ways we align ourselves with expectations that put us at risk of our own self-betrayal. The Heart of This Conversation Maybe becoming really good at something doesn't mean you finally arrive at a place where there is nothing left to learn. Maybe expertise and curiosity can sit beside each other. You can own your experience. You can say, "I know something about this." And still leave room for another person to teach you something, for an experience to challenge what you thought you understood, for your faith or perspective to deepen or change—or simply for the possibility that there is more here to learn. And perhaps the people who help us most aren't always the people who convince us to trust them. Sometimes they're the people who create enough safety, curiosity, and space that we can finally hear ourselves more clearly. And maybe we leave trusting ourselves a little bit more. A Note From Danielle One of my favorite things about Hazel is that she knows things—and she owns what she knows—without behaving as though knowing something means she's finished learning. She describes herself as "a student of the work that I am becoming an expert in." That feels increasingly rare in a world that rewards certainty, hot takes, expertise, and having ...
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    54 分
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