The path to a transformed relationship rarely follows a straight line. Most couples encounter significant challenges when trying to work together toward positive change, often finding themselves caught in familiar cycles of frustration despite their best intentions.

This episode explores two pivotal moments where partnership efforts commonly derail: at the very beginning when trying to establish teamwork, and when discovering you and your partner want different next steps. Both challenges reveal something profound about how our nervous systems interpret differences as threats, creating protective responses that block genuine connection.

Drawing from Polyvagal Theory and Imago Relationship Therapy, I share practical guidance for navigating these roadblocks. You'll discover why your nervous system state matters more than your words when approaching your partner, how to extend genuine invitations rather than demands, and ways to transform differences from threats into opportunities for deeper understanding.

We explore the common "disappointed-disappointment" dynamic that leaves one partner feeling chronically let down while the other feels perpetually inadequate despite their efforts. This pattern creates serious obstacles to partnership but also offers clues about what's needed for real change.

The journey isn't about perfection but practice. Each attempt to work together—even the messy ones—represents growth toward creating a relationship model you may never have witnessed before. This simultaneously exciting and frightening process requires compassion for both yourself and your partner as you learn to maintain regulated nervous systems and connect through differences rather than despite them.

Whether you're just beginning to shift toward partnership or already encountering obstacles along the way, this episode provides guidance for transforming struggle into opportunity. Subscribe and share with anyone who might benefit from understanding how to take steps together, even when depression is in your bed.

- If you are looking to take the first step towards improving your connection and communication with your partner, check out this FREE monthly webinar on "Becoming a Conscious Couple,".

- If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.