Should you correct your spouse or parent with dementia when they get something wrong?

Sometimes accuracy matters. Sometimes it really doesn’t. And knowing the difference isn’t always as simple as following a rule.

In this episode of Dementia Caring with Kerry — A Better Way, Kerry explores what can happen when correcting becomes a regular part of the relationship. Through real-life examples, including the story of Tony and Stella, she looks at how repeated correction can leave a person with dementia feeling dismissed, defeated, or even angry—and why their response may be one of the most important clues we have.

You’ll also hear how to approach situations where accurate information really does matter, such as a doctor’s appointment or medication, without losing sight of the person sitting beside you.

The goal isn’t to memorize a rule for every situation. It’s to better understand your person, recognize what matters in the moment, and respond in a way that protects dignity, connection, and the relationship you share.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

🧭 Dementia Caregiver Compass
When dementia leaves you wondering, “What do I do now?” the Dementia Caregiver Compass is a practical guide to help you pause, look again, and choose your next step with greater understanding and confidence.

Download your free Compass here: [Dementia Caregiver Compass]

🌿 Dementia Caring with Kerry — The Family Course
If you want to go beyond individual tips and better understand why these situations happen, Dementia Caring with Kerry was created to help spouses and adult children understand dementia more clearly and respond with greater confidence, compassion, and connection.

Learn more about the Family Course here: [Dementia Caring with Kerry — The Family Course]

Learn more about Kerry, dementia caregiving resources, coaching, and support at: [Kerry Mills]

What happens when someone you love with dementia tells you something that simply isn’t true?

It can feel like lying—and when it comes from your spouse or parent, that can be painful and even damaging to the relationship. But there may be more happening than you realize.

In this episode of Dementia Caring with Kerry — A Better Way, Kerry explores why a person living with dementia may genuinely believe a version of events that doesn’t match what actually happened. Through real-life examples, she helps us look differently at what may be happening beneath the surface—and how curiosity, compassion, and understanding can change the way we respond.

Because when it seems like your person isn’t telling you the truth, they may be telling you what they believe to be the truth.

Is it ever okay to lie to your spouse when they have dementia?

In this episode of Dementia Caring with Kerry — A Better Way, Kerry explores one of the most difficult questions spouses face in dementia care: what to do when telling the truth causes distress, but lying feels wrong.

Rather than offering a simple yes-or-no answer, Kerry looks at what is really at stake—trust, peace, and the relationship itself. Through real-life examples, she offers a different way to approach difficult conversations: one that recognizes the person’s emotions, adjusts how much information is shared, and helps preserve connection without losing sight of who you want to be as a spouse.

You’ll leave with one practical question to help you navigate these moments with greater clarity and confidence.

Dementia Caring with Kerry — A Better Way
It Starts with a Belief

What do you believe is still possible after a dementia diagnosis?

Your beliefs shape what you notice, how you interpret what is happening, and how you respond to the person you love. Those responses can determine whether daily life becomes primarily about loss and limitation—or whether there is still room for purpose, dignity, participation, and connection.

In this first episode, dementia-care expert Kerry Mills explores the relationship between belief, perspective, and quality of life.

When a person repeats the same question, tries to leave the house, or struggles with something once familiar, it is easy to see only the problem. But the diagnosis has not erased the person.

The person walking away can still walk.
The person repeating a question can still communicate.
The person who needs assistance may still participate, contribute, connect, and experience purpose.

Seeing the ability does not erase the problem. It keeps the problem from erasing the person.

Kerry explains how focusing on remaining abilities can change the way families approach safety, independence, behavior, and everyday decisions. This is not about pretending dementia is easy or denying its real losses. It is about becoming curious enough to ask what else may be happening—and what might still be possible.

At the heart of this episode is an important question:

How can both of your lives continue to have meaning?

The person living with dementia should not disappear behind the diagnosis. And the person providing care should not disappear behind the role.

Your perspective may not change the diagnosis, but it can change your response. Your response can change the moment—and days are made up of a collection of moments.

00:00 Introduction to the power of beliefs in dementia care
01:05 How beliefs influence our thoughts and actions
02:02 What do you believe is possible after a dementia diagnosis?
03:18 How beliefs affect the way we see and treat loved ones
04:04 Challenging negative beliefs and noticing abilities
05:30 Balancing safety with quality of life
07:19 Seeing the person beyond the disease
09:39 Using curiosity to understand behaviors
11:30 Living each day with purpose
14:02 Creating shared purpose and mutual respect
17:13 The importance of perspective in caregiving

Dementia Caring with Kerry — A Better Way offers practical guidance, meaningful perspective, and hope for families navigating dementia.

Each episode explores one question, situation, or belief to help you better understand dementia, respond with greater confidence, and remain connected to the person you love.

Hope is not the result of dementia improving. Hope is discovering what remains possible despite dementia.

Learn more about Kerry Mills and Dementia Caring with Kerry:
https://kerrymills.com

I Care: A Handbook for Care Partners of People With Dementia
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Handbook-Partners-People-Dementia/dp/1452590737

Subscribe for practical dementia-care guidance and a more hopeful way of navigating life together.