This week I'm joined by comedian Rachel Dispenza (@racheldispenser)! We went deep on therapy, religion, and whether gay people ever actually break up with their exes (they don't)

New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

0:00 Intro
0:31 The Sheep Detective Review
5:37 The Door Holder Story
14:13 Confessional: Are You Gay?
15:00 Identity Labels
20:00 Do You Want Kids?
26:22 Do You Believe in God?
27:44 What Did Death Look Like?
33:18 Excommunication
34:48 Signs You Were Gay
39:27 First Queer Relationships & Never Blocking Exes
43:38 Going to Our Exes' Weddings
44:47 Cross My Heart: Childhood Embarrassment
47:08 Hula Hoop Injustice
50:00 Forgive Me But: Devil Wears Prada 2
55:00 Forgive Me But: Call Me on the Phone
58:27 Analog Summer & Deleting Spotify
1:02:21 Starting a Show + Where to Find Rachel

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah Beck dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram.

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

It's another Solo Stoned episode! I answered your questions, reviewed everything I watched and read, went deep on the Gilded Age, and accidentally got too high to finish the episode.

We talked about: turning down Ozempic ads, the lesbian mafia (my ex-girlfriends network of favors), The Sheep Detectives, Big Mistakes, Famesick by Lena Dunham, Piranesi, why Great Gatsby still hits in 2026, old money vs. new money, Mother's Day when you don't have a mom, dressing like your younger self, my '90s mom summer era, and the time I went to prom.

Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest. Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Chapters:
0:00 – Cold open: the prom story
0:51 – Intro & the edible situation
2:20 – Turning down Ozempic ads
2:21 – Fidget toys & Jeannie B ASMR
4:03 – Roses & Thorns: NYC trip & getting sick
5:26 – Starting a cult for: The Sheep Detectives
7:00 – Forgive me but: engage with old media
7:26 – Great Gatsby & the guy who peaked at 21
9:29 – Gilded Age hyperfixation: old money vs. new money
11:15 – Passage of time high thought
13:03 – Forgive me but: take alone time on trips
14:45 – Q&A: favorite lesbian stereotype
15:35 – Advice: newly gay in Utah
17:45 – The lesbian mafia
19:26 – Media review: Sheep Detectives, Big Mistakes, Kimmy Schmidt, Fame Sick, Piranesi
27:00 – Mother's Day without a mom
28:42 – Dressing like your younger self
30:06 – The prom story (full version)
31:26 – Starting a cult for: '90s mom summer
32:11 – Writing a pilot & journaling
33:15 – Stand-up shows & Mortified Chicago

#HannahBeck #CrossMyHeartPodcast #GayPodcast #LesbianPodcast #QueerComedy #TikTokComedian #DearDaddyGod #ChicagoComedy #SoloStoned #LesbianMafia #GildedAge #GreatGatsby #90sMomSummer #ExEvangelical #ReligiousTrauma #QueerTikTok #Podcast

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, solo stoned episode, lesbian mafia, Great Gatsby, Gilded Age, Lena Dunham Famesick, Piranesi, Sheep Detectives, '90s mom summer, religious trauma, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, stand-up comedy, coming out stories, mental health, chosen family, comfort creator

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Lauren is here for episode 11! (@notfunnylauren)

This week we talked about leaving religion on TikTok before it was a thing, the shifting TikTok era, dream jokes, consciousness, signing an NDA, restorative justice, women being the original perverts, and the Big Bang Theory Cinematic Universe.

Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest. Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Chapters:

0:00 – Victoria's Secret & gay signs

0:33 – Confessional: are you gay?

1:36 – Religious deconstruction

5:25 – Shifting TikTok, dream jokes, consciousness

9:36 – Hannah’s NDA

16:06 – Fletcher, JoJo Siwa, lesbian icons

20:31 – sneaking out & sex collages

26:23 – Women are the original good perverts

30:57 – What are you starting a cult for?

40:01 – Forgive me but: Partiful & the Big Bang Theory universe

45:26 – TV recommendations, writing a pilot

HannahBeck #CrossMyHeartPodcast #GayPodcast #LesbianPodcast #QueerComedy #TikTokComedian #DearDaddyGod #ChicagoComedy #ComingOut #MidwestLGBTQ #ExEvangelical #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianDeconstruction #QueerTikTok #Podcast

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, religious deconstruction, legal system, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast, comfort creator, coming out stories, mental health, chosen family

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Chloe is here for episode 10! This week we talked about homoerotic friendships, turning 25, “Cry Thursdays” at church camp, chosen family over blood family, ASMR, and all-time favorite albums. .

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest.

Chapter:

0:00 – Hannah’s birthday party

11:21 – Confessional: are you gay?

17:42 – God is a woman (and we worship her)

25:19 – Embarrassing middle school stories (the refrigerator box)

31:00 – Homoerotic friendships

35:21 – Starting a cult for: Midwestern ways of showing love & full albums

45:00 – Forgive me but: put your dog on a leash & write letters

48:06 – Roses & Thorns

HannahBeck #CrossMyHeartPodcast #GayPodcast #LesbianPodcast #QueerComedy #TikTokComedian #DearDaddyGod #ChicagoComedy #ComingOut #MidwestLGBTQ #ExEvangelical #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianDeconstruction #ChosenFamily #MentalHealth #ComfortCreator #StandUpComedy #QueerTikTok #Podcast

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, Caleb Hearon, So True Podcast, Brittany Broski, Broski Report with Brittany Broski, comfort creator, coming out stories, Christian deconstruction, mental health, therapy podcast, chosen family, lesbian dating, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

My friend Kaitlin is here! This week we talked about lesbian fanfics, the youtubers that raised us (and the ones that were cancelled), Alexander Hamilton, miniskirts, and a DM from a lady named Paula that I feel weird about!

Follow Kaitlin @k.aitlin.joi on IG

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest.

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, Caleb Hearon, So True Podcast, Brittany Broski, Broski Report with Brittany Broski, comfort creator, coming out stories, Christian deconstruction, mental health, therapy podcast, chosen family, lesbian dating, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

here’s another edible-induced Q&A episode! I'm answering your questions about growing up queer, leaving the church, and why I called God "Daddy." I discuss some heavier topics today so take extra care while listening <3

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest.

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, Caleb Hearon fans, So true Podcast Brittany Broski, Broski Report with Brittany Broski, comfort creator, coming out stories, Christian deconstruction, mental health, therapy podcast, chosen family, lesbian dating, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast launch

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

My straightest friend is here and I have so many questions. Olyvia is a Chicago stand-up comedian, fantastic friend, and the only person I know who is not even a little bit gay. We talk about my recent social faux pas with a celebrity, why evil boyfriends don't deserve to go to Europe, medication shame, writing a TV show, and why lesbians will survive the end times.

Follow Olyvia @olyviadibsie on Instagram and @im.lyving on TikTok!

Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram.

New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest.

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, Caleb Hearon fans, So true Podcast Brittany Broski, Broski Report with Brittany broski, comfort creator, coming out stories, Christian deconstruction, mental health, therapy podcast, chosen family, lesbian dating, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast launch, hannah beck gay best friend, straight ally, queer best friend, female friendship, women in comedy, Chicago stand-up, Olyvia Dibsie

Chapters:

0:00 Lesbians Will Survive the End Times

0:36 Intro + Evil Boyfriends Don't Deserve to Go to Europe

3:11 Roses & Thorns

5:30 Thorns: Doom Scrolling, Lesbians Will Survive & the Steak 'n Shake Incident

14:43 Bud: Comedy Goals & New York

15:24 What Are You Starting a Cult For? (Flowers for Everyone)

19:13 What Are You Starting a Cult For? (I'm Writing a TV Show)

25:31 Forgive Me, But: Medication = Mario Kart

29:27 Forgive Me, But: Pink Whitney & Dating Athletes

32:52 Studying the Straight Experience

34:50 Confessional

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

My most requested guest is finally here. Matthew is my best friend, my high school “beard”, my roommate, and the man who knew I was gay before I did! Watch us yap on our living room couch sort of like we do every day : )

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest.

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, Caleb Hearon fans, So true Podcast Brittany Broski, Broski Report with Brittany broski, comfort creator, coming out stories, Christian deconstruction, mental health, therapy podcast, chosen family, lesbian dating, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast launch, hannah beck gay best friend

0:00 — Teaser

0:30 — Meet Matthew

0:51 — Hannah is hungover

1:26 — Drunk college stories

4:37 — Karaoke & Matthew's Voice Lessons

8:05 — Roses & Thorns

11:20 — Reddit & Health Anxiety

12:34 — Thorns of the Week

14:17 — Line Dancing

15:15 — Prom Memories

16:22 — Starting a Cult: Trying Things You're Bad At

17:31 — How I Started Stand-Up Comedy

18:40 — Bombing in Springfield

20:21 — Bombing in Chicago

22:26 — Starting a Cult: Thursday Nights Out

23:17 — The 45-Minute Thursday Date

24:26 — Why I Yap Through Movies

25:35 — Starting a Cult: Reflecting on Media You Consume

28:23 — How We Met: Queer Kids Finding Each Other

30:26 — My Last Ditch Effort at Finding a Man

32:41 — Sneaking Around in High School

35:19 — Getting Doxed on TikTok

38:17 — Confessional: What You Used to Believe

39:47 — Glaring Signs You Were Gay

41:52 — The DoorDash Sex Candle

43:45 — Matthew's Personal EGOT Goals

47:06 — Goodbye & Thank You

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤