Are you ever going to text me?

This episode will age like fine wine... and then turn to vinegar.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph pay tribute to the best performances by septuagenarians and octogenarians (that's old people to you and me).

He's not only a great actor, but he rocks a very hairy chest.

But you're never going to win this case Frank, you died.

Jason gives out parenting advice on raising your child with iconic Jack Palance lines.

She could take a punch, but not a stool.

Amazingly, Morgan Freeman gets impersonated the most in the show without receiving a single nomination.

Whose mother was a toaster and granddaughter was a stripper?

Which actor missed being nominated for a hat trick of performances by one year?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode doesn't know what Vern means.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph recommend some of their favorite Halloween cinematic treats.

Hagrid Lebowski

There's nothing I want to do for seven hours.

Jason's curfew wouldn't let him do the time warp.

Rabid zombies are much scarier than lumbering zombies.

Once again, "Three more days to Halloween. Halloween. Halloween."

Jim makes another plea for people to acknowledge that there was a sequel to Psycho. Seriously people. No joke.

Joseph and Jason ponder the awkward conversations that take place the day after a purge.

The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is they're dead.

What horror classic villain can be impersonated with a couple of butter knives?

What's the ring? Better yet, what's a VHS tape?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode should be listened to in its entirety before listening to any recommended albums on this week's list.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph provide the listeners with a stellar list of albums to listen to on a road trip.

Jason makes a controversial pitch for the English F1 McLaren team to become the McLaren Matadors.

Joseph and Jason complain about going blind in their old age.

Peg!!!!! Now do it a third note higher.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot returns to the show, and it's still a very unfunny comedy.

The band Rush is going on tour again. They will be using Jim's new lyrics for Red Barchetta.

The band Yes gets snubbed for more Speaking in Tongues.

What Yacht-Rock album is great to listen to while on the road?

What mega album hit did Dave Coulier inspire?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode contains surprisingly dramatic moments (not really).

Jason, Jim, and Joseph list some of the best dramatic performances by actors known more for their comedic chops.

Jason poses the philosophical question of whether a comedy can be so unfunny that it can be considered a drama.

Jim brings back one of his favorite impressions, even though it's as dead as crabmeat.

Joseph provides more misinformation about Oscar-winning performances.

Have the guys discovered how similar the older Jerry Lewis, Clive Davis, and Robert Evans spoke?

Sadly, what is a one-hour photo?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode is better like 5000 candles in the wind.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph put to rest the best funeral scenes in television and movies.

“Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human.”

Eugoogoolizer. One who speaks at funerals.

My phone died.

Joseph was so moved by one funeral scene he had to went back to the theatre the next day to watch it again.

You're my boy, Blue!

HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?

Jim loves a Hulk in a suit.

Who died as so many young men of his generation before his time?

Which clown was "shelled" to death by a rogue elephant?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode can’t keep time playing a tambourine.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph call out some of their favorite fictional musicians on television.

More obnoxious than night mowing; morning band practice!

Joseph gives lessons on the chord formations of Smelly Cat.

Jim pays tribute to the original television musician.

The Monkees are finally inducted into the CCR Hall of Fame.

Nightman… anyone remember? He played a sax and shot lasers from his eyes.

An amusement park that boasted the tallest escalator.

Jason gives thanks to Lucille Ball for all of his sci-fi crushes.

Mouse Rat.

How many more candles was Little Sebastian honored with over Princess Diana?

Which Brady really fits the suit?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode offers a PSA for all of us older geezers.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph make a list of the biggest cinematic douchebags.

Trinitron television receives a shout-out from Jason.

Hans, Boobie. I'm your white knight.

James Spader, Dabney Coleman, and Robert Prescott all make it into the Douchebag Hall of Fame.

I haven't had a carb since 2004.

I work with retards.

Jason and Joseph agree that they are getting old and don't like change.

Jason offends all Frenchmen (again).

NO WIRE COATHANGERS!

Which bot receives "Douche of the Day"?

How did Chet not make it on the list?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode has more grizzle than any other episode.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph grumble their way through making a list of the best growling cinematic characters.

Jim enjoys an episode of impression heaven.

You're gonna eat thunder and crap thunder.

I'm here to talk about "diabeetus".

Wes Hightower.

Jason and Joseph agree that a great performance can be unintelligible.

You're my boy, Blue!

Is it going to be different this time?

Why is the plumbing cartel preventing the production of a better designed toilet?