Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you familiar with pathological demand avoidance? Do you need helpful strategies to raise a child with the challenging behaviors that characterize PDA? Listen in to this conversation with Dr. Cynthia Martin, a clinical psychologist, the former Senior Director of the Autism Center at the Child Mind Institute, and founder of CM Psychology in Manhattan, NY.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is Pathological Demand Avoidance?
• What makes PDA different from typical defiance or resistance?
• Is PDA considered an official diagnosis, or is it more of a way to describe a cluster of behaviors that we’re seeing in some kids?
• What do we know about the underlying causes?
• How does PDA relate to other conditions like autism or ADHD? What are the overlaps with trauma, prenatal substance exposure??
• What are the types of behaviors parents or caregivers might see?
• How can a caregiver tell the difference between a child who can’t comply and one who won’t comply?
• Where do parents start when considering if their child has a PDA profile?
• What observations or examples should parents share to help a clinician understand their child’s challenges?
• What kinds of strategies are effective for parenting a child with PDA traits?
• How can parents reframe their approach so that daily demands — like getting dressed, brushing teeth, or doing homework — don’t turn into constant battles?
• What types of therapies or interventions tend to be most helpful?
• What do you say to caregivers who are feeling worn down and ineffective? Where do they start?
• How can a parent or caregiver set their child up for success even if they do have this PDA profile?
• What words of hope or encouragement would you offer to parents and caregivers just starting to investigate?

Resources:

• Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Kids - Child Mind Institute
• Demand Avoidance: Why Kids Refuse to Follow Directions - Psychology Today
• Symptom Tests for Children: Is Your Child Showing Signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance? - ADDitude: ADHD Science & Strategies
• Unstuck & On Target - Evidence-Based Curricula and Resources for Professionals and Families to Support Executive Functions.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: How to talk to your child about their conception story when embryo donation/embryo adoption is involved in forming your family?

Resources:

• Embryo Adoption (Resource Page)
• Suggested Books for Children Conceived Through Embryo Donation
• Disclosing Donor Conception to Our Kids (podcast)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Talking about the difficult parts of our child's story, like abuse or prenatal substance exposure, can be overwhelming. Kelly Weidner, the co-founder and Executive Director of Haven Adoptions & Family Services in Ambler, PA. She has 28 years of experience in foster care, residential care, and adoption, which will help us navigate these challenging conversations with our kids.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What kinds of issues do we mean when we say “difficult parts” of a child’s story? What are some of the everyday challenging conversations that adoptive parents must tackle?
• Why is it necessary to introduce these potentially painful, complex issues to our kids?
• Why are parents reluctant to talk about these issues?
• What steps should adoptive parents take when choosing to start these conversations? Where do they start?
• What is a Lifebook, and how can parents use them to introduce and build on the story as their child grows?
  • What should be included?
  • How does a Lifebook differ between the types of adoption?
  • What if your child wants to bring their Lifebook to school or show it to people outside the family?
• What language can you use with young children to lay the groundwork for later, with more details filled in as they grow?
• How would a parent start the conversation about being conceived during a rape or abusive relationship, across several ages or stages, to build understanding?
• As another example, should we tell our kids about abuse or neglect that happened to them if they don’t remember it? How?
• Should you tell a child that her birth mother’s use of drugs or alcohol during pregnancy might be the cause of their learning disabilities?
• How do you help your child understand how much of his story he should share with others outside the family?
• What if you don’t believe the birth mother’s story of what happened?
• What if you don’t know the details of what happened, just that something “big” did happen?
• How can adoptive parents help their children understand that they are more than the difficult parts of their history and that they are not doomed to repeat their birth parents' mistakes?
• What are some practical tips for supporting our kids after we’ve had to share hard-to-hear information?

Resources:

• Suggested Books for Adoptive Families
• Using Lifebooks to Explain Complex Issues in Adoption to Kids
• Building the Framework for Adopted & Foster Children to Process the Hard Parts of Their Stories

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Having the right documentation, signed, dated, and completed, is crucial to maximizing the claim and avoiding delays or audits. But before we jump into the actual documents, let's start with the big changes to this year's adoption tax credit, because these are important details for families to know this year.

Resources:

• Adoption Tax Credit Resource Page
• Finding a Tax Specialist to File Your Adoption Tax Credit Claim
• Adoption Tax Credit (IRS)
• 5 Things to Know About the Adoption Credit (IRS)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Let us know about your adoption journey

Did you finalize an adoption in 2025 or within the last several years? Are you eligible to claim the Adoption Tax Credit? Listen to this conversation about the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit. Our guests are Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill’s Tax Service, and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at Families Rising.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2025 federal taxes?
• What is different about this year’s Adoption Tax Credit?
• How would you claim the Adoption Tax Credit if you get a tax refund every year?
• What types of adoptions are included or excluded in the Adoption Tax Credit?
• Are kinship adoptions covered? Are kinship guardianship arrangements/expenses covered?
  • What if the relative child was never involved with the foster care system?
• Can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit for each adoption you complete, even if you completed them in the same year?
• What is a Qualified Adoption Expense for purposes of the Adoption Tax Credit 2025?
• When can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit for:
  • Domestic Private/Infant Adoption
  • International Adoption
  • Re-adoption in the US for International Adoption
  • Foster Care Adoption
  • Kinship Adoption
• For purposes of filing the Adoption Tax Credit, what qualifies as a Special Needs Adoption?
• How does the Adoption Tax Credit differ for adoptions from foster care?
• What does the IRS accept as proof of “special needs” in foster adoptions?
  • What is a $0 subsidy agreement?
• Can you reclaim your expenses for an adoption that did not result in a placement (that is, a failed adoption)? How?
• What income level (Modified Adjusted Gross Income) is excluded from claiming the Adoption Tax Credit in 2025?
• How long can the credit be carried over?
• What if you didn’t claim the Adoption Tax Credit when eligible?
• Will the Adoption Tax Credit offset self-employment tax?
• How does the Secure Act impact us if we are claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2025 taxes?
• What should you do if the child’s Social Security Number is unavailable when you file?
• How does the Adoption Tax Credit work in conjunction with employee adoption benefits?
• If you adopt, can you still claim the Child Tax Credit?
• Do you need to send any documentation for the Adoption Tax Credit to the IRS when you file your taxes?
  • What type of documentation should you keep in your records? For how long?
• How to advocate for refundability? https://adoptiontaxcredit.org

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: An aspect of adopting that we didn’t hear about was how your mental health is challenged throughout the process. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, and this isn’t discussed as often as organic issues such as drug or alcohol use.

Resources:

• Creating a Family Online Support Group
• Adoption Process & Important Considerations
• Self-Care for Parents and Caregivers

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering adoption this year but concerned about how to swing the cost? Join us for a practical conversation about managing the expenses of adoption with Ryan Hanlon, PhD, former president of the National Council for Adoption, an adoption advocacy organization dedicated to research, education, and policy in the service of all members of the adoption community.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How much can hopeful adoptive parents expect to pay for adoption?
  • Domestic infant adoption?
  • Adopting from foster care?
  • International adoption?
• What do these expenses cover?
• Most hopeful adoptive families do not have access to large lump sums of $25,000 and upward. So, what are the different options they can pursue to help them afford an adoption?
  • Adoption Subsidies
  • Adoption Grants/Loans
  • Adoption Tax Credit
• What other methods are available to families to afford adoption? And can you explain the pros and cons of each so families can get a well-rounded view of what to consider?
  • Increase savings / Decrease spending
  • Increase income via a second job, selling things (things you own that you don’t want/need/use; things you can create or offer as services)
  • Employee benefits programs
  • Crowd-sourcing and fundraising, asking for money from family and friends (can be particularly controversial in some circles; take care in sharing the child’s story, etc.)
• If a family chooses to fundraise, can you offer a few tips that might help them protect the child’s story and proceed ethically?
• Also related to fundraising, what types of fundraisers do you see as most effective? (offering a service, event, or experience vs. donations only, etc.)
• How far in advance do hopeful parents start some of these efforts to afford adoption?
• Can you explain the Adoption Subsidy in more detail? How do hopeful parents determine if they qualify?
• Where do they go to learn about financial resources to help them afford adoption?

Resources:

• The Adoption Tax Credit
• Foster Care Adoption Subsidies: What is Reasonable and How to Negotiate
• National Council for Adoption

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: How do you deal with the emotions of not being able to adopt or foster because your husband doesn't share the desire?

Resources:

• A Reluctant Spouse: When Only One Partner Wants to Adopt
• I Want to Adopt. My Partner Does Not.
• Creating a Family Online Support Group

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building