When emotions hurt, most of us go straight into fix-it mode. We try to shut it down, numb it out, control our kids, or control the moment. But in this episode, Andee shares why the goal isn’t to eliminate “negative” emotions. The goal is to move through them so they can actually complete and release.

You’ll hear a real-life holiday-season story (cruise chaos, kids growing up, and all the tenderness that comes with it), plus practical tools for what to do when your nervous system is activated and you feel the urge to rush, react, or lecture.

Because here’s the truth: when emotions become emergencies, you parent like an emergency responder. And connection disappears.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why emotions are meant to hurt sometimes, and why that’s not a problem
• The difference between emotions, feelings, and sensations (in a way that actually makes sense)
• How “pain about the pain” is what multiplies suffering
• The two most common ways we avoid emotions (and how it shows up in parenting)
• Why “Let it hurt” is often the most powerful first step
• How to stop outsourcing your regulation to your kids
• What emotional maturity really is, and how it grows over time
• How to stay connected when your nervous system is in fight-or-flight
• Why your child benefits more from your emotional ownership than anything you could say

Real-life examples included:

• The “clean your room” moment where the real trigger wasn’t the mess, it was the fear of not being heard
• A travel story from Berlin where a nervous system takeover turned into an opportunity for repair, regulation, and connection

Key takeaways to remember:

• Emotions that are allowed get processed. Emotions that are resisted get complicated.
• Your child’s hard feelings aren’t proof something is wrong. They’re proof they’re human.
• The goal isn’t happiness. The goal is being able to stay present for the full 50/50 of life.
• Unfelt emotions fester. Felt emotions move through.
• Emotional strength isn’t never getting activated. It’s knowing what to do when you are.

A question to sit with this week:

Where are you treating emotions like emergencies in your home?
And what might change if you practiced letting them move through instead of trying to make them stop?

If this episode helped you, share it with a friend who’s trying to stay calm, connected, and choose humanness this holiday season.

Correction is out. Connection is in. And you’re not alone.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

This week we are diving into a concept that has completely changed the way I move through my life. It is the difference between low quality problems and high quality problems. Once you learn this, you cannot unsee it.

Over the last eighteen months I have been in a season packed with transitions. Business shifts, kids returning and launching, midlife changes, perimenopause, parenting big kids and teens, family health, the holidays, snow, all of it. My brain has been shouting problem at every turn. And for a while, I believed it.

Then something clicked. I realized the issue was not that I had too many problems. The issue was the type of problems I was choosing. Some problems drained me and made me feel powerless. Other problems actually grew me and helped me become the next version of myself.

In this episode I walk you through how to tell the difference and how to shift into high quality problems on purpose.

We cover:

• Why your brain is designed to look for problems
• How low quality problems keep you stuck and small
• How high quality problems expand you and put you back in the driver seat
• What this looks like in real life with parenting, marriage, work, health, and identity
• Why your child is never the problem
• How to choose the problems you want your life to be about
• How to stop carrying problems that were never yours to begin with

I also guide you through five reflection questions that will help you redefine whatever is on your plate right now in a way that brings clarity, calm, and momentum.

If life feels full or heavy or chaotic, this conversation will help you breathe again. You will walk away seeing your problems in a completely new light. You will remember that you are the woman for this life and that the quality of the problems you choose changes everything.

If this episode helps you, send it to a friend, share it on Instagram, or just hold it close the next time your brain shouts this is too much. You get to decide the kind of problem solver you are becoming.

I love you all. Go connect with your kids and have a beautiful rest of your day.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

This week, we are exploring what it really means to practice gratituding in the moment you are in. I’ll show you how shifting out of “life will feel better when…” into “this moment matters right now” can change your entire emotional experience.

Together, we will look at why it doesn’t get better than this, not because everything is perfect, but because the present is the only place your brain can regulate, create, and feel steady. This episode is full of practical, science-backed ways to use gratitude to calm your system, expand your capacity, and stop waiting for the future to finally feel okay.

Don’t miss this foundational conversation. It just might change the way you show up in every moment moving forward.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

This week, I'm talking about one of the most important emotional skills we can build as parents. I call it Uncertainty Tolerance.

After a long Thanksgiving trip, a shut-down freeway, a surprise snowstorm, and a mountain of homemade pies, I found myself thinking about how much of parenting happens in the middle. The middle is the space where we have planted seeds and are waiting for results. The space where we want to feel calm and capable, but instead find ourselves worrying, predicting disaster, or questioning everything.

In this episode, I explore why our brains resist uncertainty and why we often reach for familiar failure instead of sitting with the possibility that things might turn out well. I share how this shows up with toddlers, tweens, and teens. I walk you through real examples from Target tantrums to bedtime battles to teenage eye rolls and explain how to anchor yourself so that you can stay present and connected instead of reactive.

Here is what I cover in this episode:

What Uncertainty Tolerance Is

The ability to remain steady in the in-between space between what you want and when the results actually show up, without collapsing or quitting or rushing into negative predictions.

Why Our Brains Crave Certainty

A look at how the human brain tries to avoid the unknown by assuming the worst, and how this habit affects the way we interpret our child’s behavior.

Why You Cannot Rely on Your Child for Certainty

Children cannot regulate themselves for us. Their moods, reactions, and choices cannot be our source of stability. We learn to create certainty in ourselves.

What You Can Be Certain Of

Your heart is good.
Your love is real.
Your intention is strong.
Your presence matters.
Your influence is greater than you think.
And you can learn anything you need to learn.

How to Stay Grounded Through Meltdowns and Pushback

I share specific examples from everyday parenting moments and show you how to remain steady even when you do not know what comes next.

The Identity Shift That Changes Everything

The grounding thought that can help you stay centered in any hard moment is this: "I am okay even if this does not work right away. My child is okay even if this does not work right away."

This is not resignation. It is leadership. It is connection in action. It is the practice of trusting development more than daily behavior.

Uncertainty is not a sign that you are doing anything wrong. It is an invitation to grow. You are becoming more emotionally grounded, more connected, and more confident with every messy moment you stay present for. You are doing beautiful work, even when you cannot see the results yet.

Thank you for listening and for showing up for your children in ways that no one sees. You matter. Your work matters. And I believe in the direction you are heading.

Now go connect your face-off with your kiddos, and I will see you next time.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

In this episode, we’re talking about something that sits at the heart of connected parenting: your emotional capacity.

Your ability to feel your own emotions directly shapes how you help your children navigate theirs.

I’m sharing the exact moment a client realized why she kept snapping at her kids, and how one shift opened the door to calmer, more connected parenting. We’ll walk through what emotional capacity really means, why it matters so much, and how to grow it in practical, doable ways.

Inside the episode, you’ll learn:

• Why “trying not to get triggered” doesn’t work
• The difference between suppressing emotions and expanding your capacity
• How your child’s big feelings bump into your limits
• What actually creates emotional safety for kids
• The eight emotional capacities that change how you parent
• Why repair is often more powerful than getting it perfect
• How to hold space for your child without absorbing their storm
• The tiny daily practices that build real emotional strength

You’ll hear stories from my own life, Target meltdowns, the baby powder blizzard, hiking to Machu Picchu, as well as real client breakthroughs that show what’s possible when you learn to feel your emotions without being ruled by them.

This episode will help you understand yourself more clearly, stay steadier in the hard moments, and create a home where big feelings aren’t something to fear… they’re something you can navigate with confidence.

Because in parenting, you can’t teach what you can’t feel, and feeling more is what makes connection possible.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

In this episode, I’m diving into something you probably didn’t realize is shaping your parenting every single day…the quiet questions running in the background of your brain.

Most parents think the problem is their kids’ behavior. But so much of what we experience as “hard parenting moments” comes from the questions we’re unconsciously asking ourselves—questions like:

• Why can’t they just listen?
• What’s wrong with me?
• Why is everything so hard?

And here’s the kicker:

Your brain will always answer the question you give it.

If the question is negative, the answer will be too.

Today, I’m sharing a story from New Zealand (yes, the Cathedral Caves saga!) where one powerful pause and a handful of compassionate questions completely shifted a moment of frustration between me and my daughter.

You’ll learn:

• Why “Is this true?” might be the most liberating question you ever ask.
• How to catch the sneaky questions that are sabotaging your parenting.
• The three coaching questions I use daily to regulate, reflect, and reconnect.
• Why being an observer of your own mind is the actual parenting superpower.
• How to reframe disempowering questions into ones your brain can actually work with.

Plus, I’ll give you a handful of empowering questions you can start using right away to shift your mindset, calm your nervous system, and bring more connection (and ease!) into your home.

This work is life-changing. And the best part?

It starts with just one better question.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most powerful tools you already have but probably aren’t using enough: redeciding.

Redeciding is the moment you pause, question the default, and choose again—on purpose. It’s how you reinvent yourself, your parenting, your routines, and your reactions… without blowing up your whole life.

I share a few recent moments that pushed me to look at my old stories (like “I’m bad at tech” or “I can’t learn new things”) and what changed when I stopped believing them. This is the work we do in CMP: noticing the patterns that keep us stuck and choosing something better.

In this episode:

• Why you’re allowed to start over anytime
• How tiny decisions create massive reinvention
• The stories we inherit—and how to let them go
• What to do when you feel stuck in old parenting habits
• How to redesign your relationship with each child
• Why failures are evidence of growth, not proof of inadequacy

You’re not stuck. You’re just one redecision away from a different outcome.

Let’s make the last two months of the year the best ones yet.

Go connect with your kids. And let’s reinvent together.

🎙️ Special Invitation: Starting November 16, join PIVOT LIVE — an eight-week small-group version of my signature parenting program. You’ll learn the full Connect Method Parenting framework and get weekly live coaching to help you implement it.
👉 https://cmp.works/pivot

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

The people who transform their lives? They're not smarter than you. They're not more motivated. They're not reading more books or listening to more podcasts.

They're the ones showing up every single week to get coached on their real life.

Here's what I've discovered after seven years of teaching Connect Method Parenting: you can understand every concept I teach and still find yourself yelling when your kid won't put their shoes on Tuesday morning.

There's this massive gap between knowing what to do and being able to do it in the moment when you're triggered.

What closes that gap isn't more information. It's the weekly rhythm of learning something, watching it get applied to someone else's situation, then trying it in your own life. That's it. Learning, repetition, application.

That's why I'm doing Pivot Live, eight weeks where we meet every Wednesday at 1 PM Eastern starting November 16th. Small group. Cameras on. You're committing to show up.

You'll mess up Monday morning. You'll bring it to our call Wednesday. We'll work through it together. And Thursday you'll handle it differently.

If you're new to CMP, you'll go through the Pivot week by week with the group. If you've already done it, come as a repeater and just bring whatever you're working on.

The details: $199 for 8 weeks | First lesson November 16th, first call November 19th | Register at https://cmp.works/pivot

In the next episode, I'll break down the actual CMP concepts we'll be diving into.

Learn more here --> https://connectmethodparenting.com

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista