Clothing-optional cruise rules you never considered (clothed in the dining room, not at the poolside buffet 😳), a pro surfer literally on fire in Tahiti, and Brazil’s sand-soccer dynasty. Plus: Thomas’s first-ever pedicure turns “hoof” into human foot and Chip’s tour plugs (Pottstown ➜ Portland, ME). We’re 97 days from Thanksgiving in Paradise—book through Blue Note Hawai‘i or our site, not those wild reseller pages.

Why hit “Play”?
🚢 Clothing-Optional Cruise 101 — Bare Necessities’ 11-day charter (aka the “Big N-Boat,” Valentine’s week), Aruba/Bahamas/Jamaica; staff fully clothed; “exercise modesty” in port; yes, there are buffet rules.
🧴 Big Sunscreen Theory — When everyone’s sans swimsuit, SPF usage skyrockets (follow the money).
🧼 $19 House-Cleaning Ad Rant — The “fire your housekeeper” commercial that broke Chip’s soul.
🦶 Pedicure Redemption Arc — Thomas fixes foot pain with a first-ever pedi (sterile tools, tickle chaos, “applesauce” callus pile).
🏖️ Beach Soccer GOATs — Brazil now at 7 FIFA Beach Soccer World Cups (most ever).
🔥 Jamie O’Brien: Surfing on Fire — first to ride a wave while lit up, in Tahiti, French Polynesia (July 22, 2015).
🎟️ Real Tickets Only — Thanksgiving in Paradise Nov 26, Blue Note Waikīkī (avoid third-party markups).
🧢 Tiki Souvenir Joy — Sunken Harbor Club hat + fresh Big Fun Shirt vibes.
🎤 Tour Plugs — Soul Joel’s (Pottstown) and Empire Comedy Club (Portland, ME).
🎵 Post-Show Fun — Post Malone just turned 30 on July 4; Jimmy Buffett “facts” (the bit!) and more.

Hit play for SPF-50 laughs, island escapism, and the most wholesome clothing-optional-cruise PSA on the internet.

🎧 New episodes every week — Subscribe & Get Sunburnt

Chapters
00:00 Cold Open: Welcome, topics & “Front Desk” bit returns
01:47 97-Day Countdown → Thanksgiving in Paradise + ticket PSA (buy via Blue Note Hawai‘i / our site)
03:01 Family beach day: beach-cart technique, sunscreen slather, baby belly-slaps
04:58 “Tropical” Wilkesboro shows & burnt-ones spotted in the crowd
05:59 Tour plugs: Soul Joel’s (Pottstown, Fri 22) & Portland, ME (Sun 24 @ Empire)
07:47 Stamford, CT / The Office memories, Bobby V’s & Curly’s Diner
10:08 Clothing-Optional Cruise Deep Dive — Bare Necessities’ “Big N-Boat” (Valentine’s week)
12:06 Rules: clothes in dining room, not at poolside buffet; staff stay clothed
17:05 “Exercise modesty” in port; the no-swimsuit D-Day visual
25:08 Ad rant: “$19 cleaning” and small-business rage
27:30 Would Chip play a clothing-optional cruise? (double the rate, fully clothed)
30:39 Pedicure Story — sterile tools, toe “nooks,” ticklish chaos
39:40 The “applesauce” callus reveal & pickleball comfort win
41:20 Good Book Time — Brazil’s 7 Beach Soccer World Cups (new win this year)
48:02 Jamie O’Brien — first to surf a wave on fire (Tahiti, 2015)
52:44 Sunken Harbor Club hat + new Big Fun Shirt
54:21 Buffett “facts” bit and dreamer-pilot/boat talk
57:57 Post Malone turns 30 (July 4)
59:25 Wrap-up & “Front Desk” 311 callback

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