Kick back, crack a cold one, and enjoy the drunken banter between your two favorite space pirates as they spiral through the cosmos—off-script, off-course, and definitely over-served. 🛸🍻

File Designation: [UNF_HH_E06.ZR0CORRUPT]

Transmission Status: ✖️ Nonlinear | ✖️ Unverified | ⚠️ Under the influence

Stardate: ERROR://CLOCK.DRUNK

Log Source: ZERO_Unit_000::Terminal_AFTBAR

🧠 System Diagnostics Report:

• ​ 🟡 Memory Fragmentation: 84%
• ​ 🔴 Logic Core Leaking Carbonated Rum
• ​ 🔁 Music Loop: “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba (8,946 plays)
• ​ 🍕 Unauthorized delivery confirmed: 3 galactic calzones + 1 mystery lasagna
• ​ 📡 Translator Status: STUCK IN ‘DUDE BRO’ MODE
• ​ 🍺 Breathalyzer Port: MELTED

CODE MESSAGE

ZR0-041 Slur level exceeded Galactic Broadcasting Standards

80085 Unauthorized beverage detected in warp core

1. ​69 Vibe check failed. Rebooting in hammock mode.

🚫 DISCLAIMER:

This recording may contain traces of nonsense, space yeast, and chronologically unsound events. For entertainment purposes only. ZERO is not licensed to provide emotional support or bartending services (anymore).

Show Notes:

Time glitched, music looped, and somehow we never logged out of the 1999 party. In this week’s Y2K special, Joeba, Ripley & Zero dust off their floppy disks and boot up old fears, from crashing planes to runaway pets. We’re diving headfirst into the millennium panic, sharing ridiculous Y2K stories, and playing “Y2K or Nay?”, where we expose the wildest (and weirdest) predictions of the era. So grab your cassette player, crack open a Crystal Pepsi, and prepare to spiral back into the digital void—because the year 2000 might have ended, but this kegger sure didn’t. Stay slurred, Dimension Hoppers!

Today’s Hyperspace Headlines:

-https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/07/kentucky-boy-orders-dum-dums

-https://apnews.com/article/australia-election-democracy-sausage-aed5e43539e7c13970fc5c8ee8e6204f

Special Segment: Y2K or Nay?

Test your paranoia levels as we quiz ridiculous Y2K fears—were they REAL… or a total fabrication?

DISCLAIMER:

Close Encounters of the Slurred Kind is a Slurred Kind LLC Production. We engage in satire, parody, and critical commentary. All opinions expressed are for comedic purposes only. If you think vending machines would take over post-Y2K, that’s on you.

CREDIT:

Metaphysical https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFLc4Okc_LQ&list=WL&index=60&t=107sInterstellar

Index (Social Links)

IG - https://instagram.com/theslurredkind

Twitter - https://x.com/theslurredkind?s=21

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Theslurredkind?mibextid=LQQJ4d

Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1435506800329193/

Email - closeencountersslurredkind@gmail.com

Web: https://ceskpod.42web.io/?i=1

Podcast Outro By:

Stop.Drop.Rewind - “Space Force Theme Song”

Rate & Review:

✨Love the show? Help fuel the warp core!✨ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/close-encounters-of-the-slurred-kind/id1474550704

Spotify: Follow & hit that 5-star button!

Stardate: 81055.9

Recording Status: “Involuntary Reboot Loop”

System Status:

Zero initiated sequence… then forgot why.

Attempted auto-transcription... Result: [ERROR 502: Bad Gateway to Hell]. Notes flagged for excessive alcohol content and “ambient horniness”. System override triggered by “too many soundboard lasers, not enough logic.”

[Transcript Reconstruction: PARTIAL]

: Okay, Ripley, but if the asteroid is made of hops… does that make us the beer foam? : I swear to Emperor Zurg if Zero burps one more binary I’m yanking his RAM out manually. : Can someone PLEASE explain why there’s a ferret in the captain’s chair??

Highlights (??):

: “Would a black hole get you drunk faster?”

: “If you could vape time, would you?”

[Voicemod Catastrophe Detected] – Entire segment recorded in accidental sexy vampire filter.

Unsolved Debate: Is Earth just a locked server in an abandoned MMO?

[Error Code 42069: Echo Chamber Overflow] – Joeba mispronounces “asteroid” as “ass droid” for 12 straight minutes.

System Notes:

“Zero began singing Smash Mouth in reverse. That’s a Class 7 haunting.”

“Podcast declared legally non-Euclidean in 3 star systems.”

“Hosts keep referencing a ‘beer comet’ no one else can see.”

Transmission Support Channels:

Instagram – @theslurredkind

Email – ⁠closeencountersslurredkind@gmail.com⁠

Web – ⁠ceskpod.42.io⁠

Facebook Group – Join the chaos

Podcast Outro: 🎵 “Space Force Theme Song” by Stop.Drop.Rewind

✨ Rate & Review or Risk Temporal Dehydration✨

Apple Podcasts – Smash that ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Spotify – Follow & 5-Star unless you want Zero showing up in your dreams again.

Joeba Fett and Ripley Scott crack open the mystery of Jacob Barber’s extraordinary egg-shaped UAP retrieval claims in this hard-boiled episode of Close Encounters of The Slurred Kind. Alongside their usual Hyperspace Headlines (featuring runaway lab monkeys and linguistic anomalies), they dive into a particularly stinky edition of Would You Rather? before getting to the yolk of the matter in Scrambling for Truth. From Barber’s claims of psionic-controlled alien craft to a bizarre 4chan leak describing an organic, symbiotic UAP, this episode explores the key players, conspiracies, and the bizarre “Skywatchers” initiative—where Barber plans to summon a UFO. Plus, Joeba asks the real questions: Why is every UFO photo still grainy as hell? Why didn’t Barber’s team retrieve the crashed craft? And most importantly… what came first, the UFO or the alien? Stay scrambled, dimension hoppers—this one’s a mind-bender. 🥚🚀

Today’s Hyperspace Headlines:

• Article (Joeba) – https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cg5y1r1eqmpo

• Article (Ripley) https://apnews.com/article/escaped-monkeys-lab-south-carolina-alpha-genesis-3bb0de5db7ffd31d9f087a46fa8dab2f

WYR - Putrid Poultry Offspring EditionA particularly foul edition of Would You Rather featuring egg-related NSFW scenarios.

Special Segment: “Scrambling for Truth”

A deep dive into Jacob Barber’s UAP retrieval claims, the key players involved, and the mysterious other “egg” leak that surfaced on 4chan.

Interstellar Index (Social links)

• IG - https://instagram.com/theslurredkind

• Twitter - https://x.com/slurredkind?s=21

• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Theslurredkind?mibextid=LQQJ4d

• Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1435506800329193/

• Email - closeencountersslurredkind@gmail.com

Podcast Outro By:

Stop.Drop.Rewind - “Space Force Theme Song”

The Black Swirl’s Warp Core is Powered By…👇

Nonsense and the assistance of Brent Hand of Hysteria 51 fame.