In the episode we're defying all logic to call episode 8, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss cars that defined performance car motoring in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The Subaru Impreza Turbo and Mitsubishi EVO took over from the hot-hatch as the ultimate sporting family cars. With supercar performance and actual rally-bred mechanicals, these beasts graced the cover of car magazines for years. This week, we also discuss the most calamitous group test ever and discover why one of Craig's old smokers had the ability to change its own oil....

And, of course, we discover what new crate(s) Mr Craig Cheetham has acquired this week. What larks.

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In the episode we've been advised by the police to call episode 8, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss the pint-sized Clangers that tugged at our heart strings. Among the tiddlers talked about are the Ford Ka, Volkswagen Lupo, Fiat Cinquecento (briefly) and the SEAT Arosa. We also discover how Tom and Craig forged a dubious connection with pop legends A-Ha and why a brown envelope with £4k in cash gave us the scoop of our careers.

We also discover what new crate(s) Mr Craig Cheetham has acquired this week. What larks.

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In the episode we're calling episode 7 for legal reasons, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss the almost-too-many-to-count Clangers that owed their existence to the Volkswagen Group's PQ34 platform - aka the Golf platform. Including (but not limited to), the Audi A3, Škoda Octavia, VW Beetle and Bora and the SEAT Leon and Toledo.

We also discover what new crate(s) Mr Craig Cheetham has acquired this week. What larks.

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In the episode known under its codename of episode 6, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss their favourite topless models - and decide whether the MGF and the BMW Z3 are worthy members of the Clangers Hall of Fame. Is Rover's cobbled together MGF greater the sum of its (Metro) parts, and was the BMW Z3 overrated?

We also discover what new crate(s) Mr Craig Cheetham has acquired this week. What larks.

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In the episode we're reluctantly calling episode 5, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss the Range Rover L322 (which inexplicably has a hex on Tom and Craig) and the BMW 7-Series - the first Bangle-era beemer. We also discover what new crate(s) Mr Craig Cheetham has acquired this week. What larks.

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In the episode we're cryptically titling episode 4, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss the small German cars that proved masters of their own downfall – the Mercedes A-Class (which fell foul of an Elk) and the Audi A2, (which fell foul of the accountants). We also discover what new crate(s) Mr Craig Cheetham has acquired this week. What larks.

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In the episode we're marketing to global markets as episode 3, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss the merits and (many) failings of the Fiesta Mk6 (or Mk5 depending on location) and the rebooted MINI R50 - often referred to as the BMW Mini (although Craig takes issue with that.) We also discover what new crate Craig has acquired this week.

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In the show we're logically calling Episode 2, Tom, Craig and Mike discuss the Jaguar X-Type and the Rover 75 – two great cars that managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. We discuss what went right (not much) and what went wrong with these two prestige British clangers.

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mikeaskew@mac.com

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