Fifteen days out and the Golden Crew is fully unraveling. Tom is convinced Trevor and Jen are colluding against him, Jen discovers her Status Progress says "Red," and Trevor sets a 10:50 PM alarm for the first time in his adult life just to be first through online check-in.

The new Carnival Rewards program went live and the internet lost its mind — Platinum members logging in to find zero points and a "Status Progress: Gold" banner, Diamonds wondering if they'd been demoted, and the crew works through what the screen actually means (spoiler: almost everyone is reading it wrong). What genuinely did go away: the loyalty gift and the past guest reunion party. On the plus side, the Carnival Mastercard now earns three points per dollar on most onboard purchases, credited at the end of each sailing — which Trevor calculates will make Megan Diamond entirely through spa treatments.

In the news: Carnival Breeze traded some paint with the pier in Cozumel, leaving a dent, a dramatic video, and a narrator making it sound considerably worse than it was. Carnival Encounter dropped its Cairns call after the channel got too shallow to transit, affecting sailings in early September. And Carnival Dream is shuffling between piers 25 and 28 in Galveston due to port construction — worth knowing if you're parking.

Also: a social post of someone taking a Carnival shot glass into a Royal Caribbean embarkation, which the crew agrees is a branding problem and also a doing-56-miles-an-hour problem; Java Blue's free breakfast sandwiches; a full referendum on the maple bacon donut; whether Faster to the Fun is worth $250; the peg-leg-and-rubber-ducky plan for a Talk Like a Pirate Day embarkation; and Trevor's cautionary tale about Pizza Ranch fried chicken and the 17 gas stations between Kansas and Oklahoma City.

FRGC5 is officially on Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas.

15 days to FRGC4. 365 days to FRGC5. 116 days to the Panama Canal.

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Two weeks in a row! Jen made it through a whole episode, mostly, and only got mad about the cruise she isn't going on. Trevor is one week from check-in, Tom did not post Flat Jen, and there are consequences coming for that.

John Heald had to remind everyone on Facebook that crew members are not permitted to accept homemade food — sealed and packaged is fine, mystery Tupperware is not — and the crew debates whether this is a health-code thing or a those brownies were loaded thing. He also addressed the rumor about Guy's Burger Joint extending hours, which is currently a test on Carnival Conquest only. Princess is now charging for the Medallion to be mailed to you, though there's a free option at the terminal they'd prefer you forget. Carnival is partnering with Sneaker Impact to give the roughly 50,000 pairs of shoes guests leave behind each year to communities that need footwear — with worn-out pairs ground down and turned into yoga mats — which immediately becomes a plan to fill a backpack at Goodwill before the Jubilee.

The hard news: a joint task force has removed dozens of crew members across multiple ships at U.S. ports of entry this year over child sexual abuse material found during device and quarter searches — 11 in Boston in August, 27 detained in San Diego earlier this year, and more in San Juan. Most were processed as immigration removals rather than federal charges, which raises real questions about how international crew are vetted through third-party labor agencies. We handle it straight.

Also: a debarkation fight caught on what were almost certainly Meta glasses, filmed by someone simultaneously reading their credit card number aloud; guests stranded ashore in Cabo for three hours when a tropical storm shut down tendering; and a nine-day river cruise from Tulsa to Memphis launching in 2029 at $5,200 per person, which Trevor priced out at roughly five Carnival cruises.

This week we also lost Dolly Parton and Tim Curry. Jen said it best.

23 days to FRGC4. 124 days to the Panama Canal.

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Anything you do or say on a ship will remain forever.

Jen's back from jury duty, which she insists was more important than this show (it was), and she has strong opinions about a burrito in downtown Stockton. In her absence, Trevor and Tom recorded an episode with seven guests — John Heald, Britney Spears, Taylor Swift, Dog the Bounty Hunter — and then refused to release it out of spite. You'll have to take their word for it.

On the actual news desk: Princess is moving final payment on longer sailings from 90 days out to 120, with deposits climbing to $250 for standard staterooms ($500 per person on 10-plus-day sailings) and the cancellation schedule shifting so a 100% fee kicks in at 60 days instead of 30 — and the crew debates whether Carnival and Royal follow suit. Carnival's Elegant Night is being swapped for White Hot Night on select cruises of five days or less, which Tom explains and Trevor immediately makes weird. And on August 17th, Carnival Valor made an emergency maneuver on the Mississippi to avoid a cargo ship that had lost power in the channel — dumping water out of the pool at four in the morning and causing minor injuries. Unconfirmed reports suggest Vin Diesel was at the helm.

Also discussed: a Miami jury finding Carnival 60% at fault and awarding $300,000 to a California nurse who was served 14 shots of tequila before falling down a staircase; the boys' weight loss check-in (22 pounds and 33 pounds, respectively); an office dog who became Trevor's best friend for the price of one piece of beef jerky; and Jesse's listener question about FRGC4 plans — cabanas at Celebration Key, and yes, embarkation day is Talk Like a Pirate Day, with the Galveston Pirate Festival the night before. Bring your colander.

31 days to FRGC4. 379 days to FRGC5.

🌐 cruisepodcastaways.com
🎙️ Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/carnivalcruisingpodcastaways
👥 Join the Facebook group: "The Podcastaways"
🛳️ FRGC5 — Yes, YOU are family. Cults can have families too! → cruisepodcastaways.com/frgc5
📞 Book with Amanda Barmore / Have Luggage Will Travel: booking@hlwtravel.com | (318) 237-0998 | facebook.com/HaveLuggage.WillTravel.LLC

Anything you do or say on a ship will remain forever.