Two weeks in a row! Jen made it through a whole episode, mostly, and only got mad about the cruise she isn't going on. Trevor is one week from check-in, Tom did not post Flat Jen, and there are consequences coming for that.

John Heald had to remind everyone on Facebook that crew members are not permitted to accept homemade food — sealed and packaged is fine, mystery Tupperware is not — and the crew debates whether this is a health-code thing or a those brownies were loaded thing. He also addressed the rumor about Guy's Burger Joint extending hours, which is currently a test on Carnival Conquest only. Princess is now charging for the Medallion to be mailed to you, though there's a free option at the terminal they'd prefer you forget. Carnival is partnering with Sneaker Impact to give the roughly 50,000 pairs of shoes guests leave behind each year to communities that need footwear — with worn-out pairs ground down and turned into yoga mats — which immediately becomes a plan to fill a backpack at Goodwill before the Jubilee.

The hard news: a joint task force has removed dozens of crew members across multiple ships at U.S. ports of entry this year over child sexual abuse material found during device and quarter searches — 11 in Boston in August, 27 detained in San Diego earlier this year, and more in San Juan. Most were processed as immigration removals rather than federal charges, which raises real questions about how international crew are vetted through third-party labor agencies. We handle it straight.

Also: a debarkation fight caught on what were almost certainly Meta glasses, filmed by someone simultaneously reading their credit card number aloud; guests stranded ashore in Cabo for three hours when a tropical storm shut down tendering; and a nine-day river cruise from Tulsa to Memphis launching in 2029 at $5,200 per person, which Trevor priced out at roughly five Carnival cruises.

This week we also lost Dolly Parton and Tim Curry. Jen said it best.

23 days to FRGC4. 124 days to the Panama Canal.

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