In this sermon, Larry speaks from a place of wisdom, experience, and heartfelt concern for relationships. Drawing on decades of pastoral ministry and premarital counseling, he shares one of eight key principles he believes are essential for building, strengthening, or healing relationships: the incredible power of our words.

Larry begins by pointing out how many relationships feel like they control us, dragging us along rather than us leading them. But biblically, especially through Jesus' example, we are meant to lead in our relationships—not by force, but with service and intention. One of the most powerful ways to lead, he says, is through our words.

Larry emphasizes that words have the power to create or destroy. From the opening verses of Genesis, where God speaks creation into being, to Genesis 3, where Satan uses words to usher in destruction, Larry shows how scripture affirms this power. He uses two stories from the book of Judges to contrast wise, humble speech (Gideon’s response to angry tribesmen, which prevented conflict) with rash, defensive speech (Jephthah’s reaction, which led to war and 42,000 deaths). The message is clear: how we speak matters—deeply.

Citing both Paul (Ephesians 4) and Peter (1 Peter 3), Larry teaches that words can either invite the Holy Spirit’s presence and blessing or open the door to evil. He underscores that our speech is never neutral—it brings either life or death (Proverbs 18). Words of comparison, belittling, shaming, lying, and arrogance corrode relationships, while words of encouragement, truth, blessing, and humility bring healing.

Larry shares personal insights about how being a “non-mentioner” (someone who doesn’t naturally share feelings or thoughts) can inadvertently harm loved ones. He urges everyone—especially those who find verbal expression difficult—to speak anyway. Love and trust can only grow when people know each other’s hearts, and hearts are revealed through words.

He closes with practical wisdom: avoid “death words,” don’t tarnish people’s dignity, don’t lie (even in the name of kindness), and intentionally speak life-giving words—words that build, heal, and express love. Even if we struggle to use words well, Larry encourages us to start speaking anyway—clumsily if necessary—because silence cannot communicate love or truth.

1. Reflect: What kinds of words do I most often use in my closest relationships—life-giving or life-taking? How do others experience my speech?

2. Apply: Can I recall a time when someone’s gentle, wise words de-escalated a conflict in my life? What made their words so effective?

3. Repent: Are there “death words” I’ve used recently that need to be confessed and repaired? Who might I need to apologize to this week?

4. Act: What are some specific ways I can be more intentional about speaking life-giving words to my spouse, kids, friends, or coworkers?

5. Grow: If I struggle with verbal communication, what are one or two small steps I can take to begin expressing my heart more openly?

Pastor Andrew Banker delivered a deeply personal and theologically rich message rooted in Romans 8:1–17, emphasizing our identity in Christ as adopted sons and daughters of God. Sharing from his family’s journey through foster care and adoption, Andrew illustrated the transforming power of God's love and how it redefines us.

He began by recounting how his family, including five biological and foster children, embraced the call to foster care. Their decision to adopt a Guatemalan baby boy, Elias, was framed not just as an act of love, but as a spiritual metaphor for how God adopts us. Andrew described the day in court when Elias’s legal documents were changed—his name, identity, and parental records now fully under Andrew and his wife, Savannah. This experience mirrored what happens spiritually when we accept Christ: we receive a new name, a new identity, and full inheritance as God's children.

Andrew taught that this adoption means we are no longer slaves to sin or fear, but children and heirs of God. He noted that in Roman culture, adoption was a powerful legal act—more binding and honorable than even biological inheritance. Paul’s use of adoption language in Romans would have had immense significance to his audience.

The second point focused on transformation. Once adopted, our desires begin to shift. Citing Romans 8:5, Andrew explained that those who live by the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. This change is not manufactured by effort but occurs naturally as we spend time with our heavenly Father. He used the analogy of coffee—how deeper understanding leads to new appreciation—to show how knowledge and relationship with God lead to changed desires.

Andrew then illustrated how trauma and brokenness are not disqualifiers from God's love. Quoting testimonies and referencing stories of abuse and sin, he stressed that God says “I’ll take that one”—the wounded, the addicted, the insecure. No past sin or present struggle can separate us from God’s love. In Christ, our old record is erased, and a new life begins.

Finally, Andrew emphasized that the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead now lives in believers. This power equips us for a new life filled with hope, identity, and joy. He likened this to giving a child a bicycle—while there may be falls and pain, the ride is worth it, and the Father is always there to guide, protect, and lift us.

1. Adoption Identity

   • What does it mean to be spiritually adopted by God?

   • How might your life look different if you truly lived out of that identity?

2. Changed Desires

   • What old desires do you struggle with that reflect the “flesh” instead of the Spirit?

   • How can time with God reshape those desires?

3. New Life in Christ

   • Where in your life have you experienced the “new life” Jesus offers?

   • What are some areas where you still need to trust in that transformation?

4. Living Like Sons and Daughters

   • Do you relate to God more like a child or like a worker trying to earn approval?

   • What can you do this week to rest more fully in being God’s beloved child?

5. Engagement with Others

   • How might understanding your spiritual adoption empower you to engage with others who feel unworthy or unloved?