What if the hand ball rule was slightly changed meaning Tottenham didn't go 1-0 down in the first 30 seconds of the 2019 Champions League Final? A lot, it turns out!

Join us as we take special guest historical vandal Stuart Laws, gilet-wearing stand up comic with some of the best show titles in the biz and director of some of the biggest names in UK comedy (including James Acaster & Nish Kumar), on a joyride through alternative history!

Stu completes a committed round of crossbar challenge on a magical football pitch and takes us back to 2019 to reverse the short lived handball rule that marred that year's Champions League final for his team, Tottenham Hotspur. But while the result of the game still hangs in the balance, Stu's meddling in space-time has wide reaching historical consequences - from saving the queens life , snapping open tory MPs, and bringing the UK to net zero by 2025, we change everything short of tilting the entire world off its axis. We also discuss Stu’s methods for making medieval peasants "sludge out their butts" (much to VAR referee Stuart Atwells chagrin), as well as providing Hitler with a special screening of Jurassic Park to shape his inquisitive mind.

Historical Vandal: @stuartlawscomedy

Stuart Laws Is That Guy Still Going? Standup Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOYMIEXu44&ab_channel=800PoundGorillaMedia

Stuart Laws Has to be Joking - Tickets (Cardiff 23rd May): https://www.jokepit.com/comedy-in/cardiff/stuart-laws-has-to-be-joking/24452

Sissoko handball clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJWRyFwaaBI&ab_channel=FootballWatafak

Timestamps

Intros - 2:50

How do you feel about the past? - 6:30

Complex Series of Events - 9:45

Dirty plates Twitter Thread - 19:15

Intro to Topic - 24:30

Baby Hitler - 35:30

Football Handball Rules - 38:30

Effects of Changing History - 43:15

The Queen Survives - 54:00

5 Minutes Rental Left - 1:04:45

Peasants "Sludging Out Their butts" - 1:07:45

Fading from History - 1:16:15

Actions in the Present to Change the Future - 1:18:20

What if History | Counterfactual History | Alternative History Podcast | Tottenham Hotspur FC | Champions League Final 2019 | Liverpool FC | Liz Truss Unobtainium

BONUS EPISODE: What if we gave you the highlights of our 3 hours of chat with Steffan Alun?

Join us for the best bits of our wide ranging conversation with previous guest, bisexual, bilingual stand up Steffan Alun. This bonus episode sees us diving deep into Steff's origin story, his winding path towards becoming a standup, as well as some really interesting insights into Welsh language activism and how activism is represented within comedy. We also dive deep into local comedy lore, discussing how we build community within the open mic scene, share tips on breaking into the clubs, and even chat a little bit about gossip from the annals of South Wales comedy history circa 2015-19. We also discuss Steff's podcast idea which he hopes will bring down the Tory party once and for all.

Historical Vandal: @steffanAlun

Watch Academi Gomedi: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0kp6b5r

Place holder for Edinburgh Fringe Tickets: TBC

What if History | Counterfactual History | Alternative History Podcast | Ed Miliband 2015 Election | Big brother | Open Mic Comedy Tips | How to Start Stand Up Comedy | Welsh Language Activism

What if Ed Miliband won the 2015 General Election?

Join us as we take special guest historical vandal, bilingual stand up Steffan Alun, for a joyride through alternative history in his time machine of choice. Steffan takes us back in time using a magical amulet possessed by a disgruntled Australian genie to the good old days of 2015, where he sets up a rogue electioneering machine fuelled by Cambridge Analytica's data farms, while also training the mild mannered Labour Leader how to eat a bacon sandwich properly, sweeping him to power by nefarious means. What would chaos with Ed Miliband look like? Would Brexit have ever happened? Is voting Lib Dem the biggest mistake you can make in life? Listen now to find out all this, and much more!

Errata: David Miliband left the house of commons in 2013 and did not stand as an MP in GE2015 - so the idea of him being the only Labour candidate not to win in a 649 seat landslide is simply not realistic.

Historical Vandal: @SteffanAlun

Watch Academi Gomedi: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0kp6b5r

Place holder for Edinburgh Fringe Tickets: TBC

What if History | Counterfactual History | Alternative History Podcast | Ed Miliband 2015 Election

What if Alexander the Great died before he became the great?

In this adventure in alternative history, we're joined by historical vandal, stand up, promoter, and comedy writer (as seen on BBC Sesh), Harry (REDACTED). Harry has three degrees in ancient history, and armed with his extensive knowledge he takes us for a joyride back to the 4th Century BC in his flying bed time machine he bought off former Lancashire county cricketer, Glen Chapple.

Harry successfully spooks Alexander's horse Bucephalus, thwarting the mythological rise of Alexander the Great and nipping his empire in the bud, changing the course of history for the next 2000 years. This episode takes an in depth look at the consequences for Alexander never making it to Great status, while also discussing whether the ancient Greeks were actually that smart, whether medieval fanfiction could get you killed, and what would've happened if Jesus had stuck to the carpentry. Harry also goes into detail on what life would have been like for people like him with type 1 diabetes before insulin (SPOILERS: pretty short).

Historical Vandal: Harry (REDACTED)

Alternative History | What if history | Counterfactual | Ancient History | Alexander the Great

What if John Lennon was never assassinated?

Join us as we welcome special guest historical vandal, Cardiff-born stand up, actor, and writer Max Jones as we bubble through the ages in his hot tub time machine to prevent the assassination of Beatles (and future Ono-Lennon Family Band) legend John Lennon in December 1980. Max travels back to the swinging 60s with ex-Manchester United hardman Roy Keane, to inspire John's assassin Mark David Chapman to ditch the incels for the jocks. Max also invents Morrissey and the music of the Smiths 20 years early and rises to fame as a world leading atheist comedian by stealing Ricky Gervais' old material (both without the bigotry).

Historical Vandal: @MaxJonesana

Ad read: Didnt Ask (ft. Joe Dehuai & Max) https://open.spotify.com/episode/3xpzk0mZBkmMSOyJSiH66A?si=eb3e12191856476a

Shangri Laughs tickets: https://www.jokepit.com/comedy-by/joe-dehuai

Placeholder link to Max's audio drama: TBC

What if Nintendo never made video games?

Join special guest historical vandal, comedian (Machynlleth Comedy Festival), writer (BBC Wales' Welcome Strangers), and podcaster (The Justin Timberthon) May Thompson on a journey back in time to 1966 Japan, where Nintendo maintenance worker Gunpei Yokoi is about to make video game history when he is spotted playing with a handmade toy on the factory floor by corporation president, Hiroshi Yamauchi. Listen as we wave goodbye to the Wii, Mario, 1000s of Gigabytes of furry art, and even our beloved Bubsy 3D. She also takes it upon herself to serenade the Beatles just before their final rooftop show, and stay tuned for a bonus conversation about our experiences playing the Artful Dodger on stage.

**Note this was the first episode recorded on my upgraded mic and I had it on the wrong setting throughout, so apologies for the sound problems - if the table bumps are irritating I recommend listening on a speaker**

Historical Vandal: @maycomedy

Mach Fest Tickets: https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2025/may-thompson-what-do-you-want-from-me-tonight-work-in-progress/

Timberthon Pod: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7pkTRbQ9yDhQWQ5VoGbSXB?si=85ecc864ac7348e7

May's Alternative History of Nintendo Article: https://althistory.fandom.com/wiki/Playing_Without_Power

Bubsy 3D: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubsy_3D

Tiny Dancer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYcyacLRPNs&ab_channel=EltonJohnVEVO

What if Napoleon was killed when he was attacked by 3000 rabbits?

Join us as we welcome bilingual comedian and podcaster Harri Dobbs (Didn't Ask & the Justin Timberthon) to journey back in time before a job interview at WH Smith's. This episode sees us bringing down one of the world's most dastardly despots, Napoleon Bonaparte, with an army of ravenous rabbits. We also take a detour to terrorise the passengers of the Titanic, and do something unspeakable to a Mediaeval peasant.

*Note this was originally the pilot episode and was recorded in September 2023 on a £5 microphone - so apologies for the sound quality*

Historical Vandal: @dobbs_is_funny

Pointless History of the 80's: https://open.spotify.com/show/0FVd8OozXmUf78GjhXxOm0?si=2fe600224b6f4bac

Didnt Ask: https://open.spotify.com/show/4AWLXPa0t8Wy5shLsnQ0ej?si=d296740f76534e2a

Justin Timberthon: https://open.spotify.com/show/5JzRS25DGRzDF9eRImyGb9?si=fa71f0f7a3994886

Cardiff Live Shows: https://www.jokepit.com/comedy-by/joe-dehuai

What if Lionel Messi never won the World Cup?

Join special guest historical vandal, stand up Henry King-O'Reilly, us as we journey back to the height of the Covid-19 Pandemic on a flaming turquoise Vespa- will Henry stop a second wave? No, he's going to shred the very fabric of space time like it was single-ply toilet paper in order to stop Lionel Messi lifting the World Cup trophy with Argentina at Quatar 2022.

Historical Vandal: @hkoreilly

Butterfly effect article: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup-arsenal-martinez-messi-28775283

Diana Ross misses penalty at USA '94: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAKsGT9-XB0&ab_channel=CompilationSkills

Paper aeroplane hits player: https://youtu.be/BV6EP9bBbac?si=IQkxDyYbEFtveAMH