What do silverback gorillas, burnout, and barstool bravado have in common? More than you think.

In this brilliantly bizarre episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by psychologist and burnout researcher Dr. Pete Olusoga to unpack why 100 men vs 1 gorilla became a cultural obsession — and what it reveals about masculinity, performance, and emotional repression.

Together, they unpack:
• The “alpha male” myth and its viral appeal
• Why masculinity feels performative, fragile, and exhausting
• The psychology of burnout and who it’s selling out
• What TikTok fitness bros and Jordan Peterson have in common
• Why being “a real man” might just burn you out

From the manosphere to the therapist’s couch, this is a wild ride through memes, masculinity, and what it really means to be resilient.

Spoiler: You don’t need to fight a gorilla to prove your worth.

Pete's Details:

Insta: @dr_pete_olusoga / @eightypercentmental

TikTok: @dr_pete_olusoga

Web: www.eightypercentmental.com

But Why Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

From sleep scores to step counts, even our joy is being tracked. But who is all this “self-improvement” really for?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura ask what happens when being human stops being the goal and starts being a problem to fix. They unpack the rise of over-optimization, how capitalism convinced us we’re machines, and why even therapy isn’t safe from performance culture. Together, they explore:
• The history of optimization — from factory floors to Fitbits
• Why rest, joy, and creativity feel “unproductive”
• How wellness culture became capitalism in disguise
• Why therapy doesn’t work when it mimics the systems we’re trying to survive
• How to reclaim unoptimized joy, boredom, and being for the sake of being

This is a call to step off the treadmill, turn off the tracker, and return to what makes us human. Even if it’s messy. Especially because it’s messy.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

From “not all men” to “I was just joking,” defensiveness is everywhere. But what’s really going on underneath?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the psychology of defensiveness - how it protects us, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how it connects to deeper systems of power. With stories about awkward meetings, parenting, and fragile masculinity, they explore:
• Why our brains go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn
• The difference between guilt and shame (and why it matters)
• How whiteness, masculinity, and identity get tangled in pushback
• Why vulnerability is framed as weakness, and who benefits
• What defensiveness looks like in relationships, work, and culture

This is a compassionate but clear-eyed conversation about why being wrong feels so threatening — and what’s possible when we pause, get curious, and choose accountability instead.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod