After a very, very long hiatus, we're happy to welcome you back to a new episode of Bury Me in New Jersey! This podcast is still a space for exploring grief, but we’ve spent some time reflecting on how we want to show up in these conversations—and that’s led us to a new focus, summed up in our new tagline: Grief. Resistance. Joy. New Jersey.

This season, we’ll explore the ways that people are navigating grief in all its forms—whether it’s tied to injustice, economic hardship, and the ways the systems fail to support us. It’s also a chance to acknowledge that while some grief is inevitable, some of it isn’t—and that’s where the “resistance” part of our tagline comes in. We’ll explore how people are pushing back, challenging what’s broken, and finding ways to reclaim agency in the face of pain. We’ll also look at the historical roots of these struggles, and highlight the ways communities have come together across generations to grieve, resist, and rise.

While I’ll be returning to the host seat for our future episodes, our first conversation features Bradley Nussbaum as our guest host. As a hospice social worker and Bright Dawn Buddhist lay minister, Bradley is very familiar with navigating difficult conversations relating to grief, and finding ways to evolve these conversations into deeper reflections on life.

Bury Me in New Jersey is recorded in Hammonton, NJ, with the help of sound guy Nick Rumaczyk, head mensch and husband Bradley Nussbaum, and operations chef Katel LeDu. Our theme music is Grief on Repeat by New Harm. You’re getting an exclusive first listen to their material–their debut EP will be coming out soon!

If you'd like to provide us feedback directly or have ideas for an upcoming episode, please reach out at hello@burymeinnj.com

A special shoutout to Anjanette R., Sergey K., Molly E., and Kim H, Erin and Bill H, Fluffy Farms, Lauren L., Fairacres Organic Produce, Katel, Holly, Stacy G., Sam J, Anjanette R, Kerrie, and Colleen C. We’re back on the air because of Kickstarter contributions like yours, and we’re deeply grateful for your support.Visit our website,burymeinnj.com to learn about ways you can support the show. Thanks.

Reach out to us at hello@burymeinnj.com.

Music by New Harm.

This week, I’ll be sharing my interview with my long-time friend Kristen Fowler as we both speak candidly about our shared grief experience in a topic not often discussed: the grief that comes after divorce.

During our conversation, we discuss some of the complicated aspects of loss related to divorce that go beyond the dissolution of the marriage, including the other relationships that become collateral damage during the split; attempting to navigate blindly into a new normal, and reconciling with the fact that so many life decisions are based on a script we’re following without fully understanding the implications of that script.

Bury Me in New Jersey is recorded in Hammonton, NJ, and is produced by Nick Rumaczyk. Our theme music is P to the A, by Anonymous Novels. Check out their page on SoundCloud to hear more of their work.

If you like what you hear, you can subscribe to Bury Me in New Jersey on your favorite podcasting app. And while you're there, please consider leaving us a review to let us know how we're doing! If you'd like to provide us feedback directly or have ideas for an upcoming episode, please reach out at sara@burymeinnj.com.

Visit our website, burymeinnj.com to learn how you can support the show.

This week, I’ll be sharing my interview with Laura Smothers-Chu, CEO & Founder of Befriended Heart, who speaks candidly about her fertility journey.

During our conversation, which was recorded in October during National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we explore the various situations she and her husband have navigated in their desire to become parents, including numerous invasive procedures and miscarriage, and the subsequent grief that followed. We discuss how the perceptions (and misconceptions) surrounding pregnancy can contribute to challenges that individuals face when trying to conceive.

Bury Me in New Jersey is recorded in Hammonton, NJ, and is produced by Nick Rumaczyk. Our theme music is P to the A, by Anonymous Novels. Check out their page on SoundCloud to hear more of their work.

This week, I’ll be sharing my interview with my long-time friend, Joyce DeStasio. During our conversation, she shares her experience giving birth to her baby girl, Alaina, at 27 weeks, and the subsequent 104 days Alaina spent in the NICU before passing away the following February.

Joyce shares how her initial documentation of her daughter’s medical care soon evolved into writing about her experience from a more personal point of view, and later enrolled in a memoir class to further develop these writings. Beyond her own personal creative expression, we talk at length about the ways that she and Alaina's father used music as a cathartic outlet during the time she was hospitalized and after she passed.

Bury Me in New Jersey is recorded in Hammonton, NJ, and is produced by Nick Rumaczyk. Our theme music is P to the A, by Anonymous Novels. Check out their page on SoundCloud to hear more of their work.

Visit  burymeinnj.com to learn about ways you can support the show. 

This week, I’ll be sharing my interview with Jillian Ryan, my long-time friend, and fellow S. Jerseyean where we discuss her experience with losing her daughter, Isabelle, during her 8th month of pregnancy. During this discussion, Jill talks about how she handled her grief in the weeks and months immediately following the loss of her daughter; how the experience has shaped her as a mother; and the ways she’s dealt with her loss in the subsequent years since losing Izzy.

Although we’ve been planning this conversation for the past several months, the timing worked for our interview to align with National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which is in October, and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, October 15th.

Please note that in addition to discussing stillbirth, we also briefly discuss miscarriage.

Bury Me in New Jersey is recorded in Hammonton, NJ, and is produced by Nick Rumaczyk. Our theme music is P to the A, by Anonymous Novels.

This week's episode features Effie Anolik, founder of Afterword, an online funeral planning service offering virtual and in-person memorials, as well as a combination of the two. Effie garnered inspiration for Afterword after experiencing the sudden loss of her own father, and realizing that the funeral industry offered no convenient ways to funeral plan online. Using her extensive background in eCommerce as her guide, Effie mapped out a way for families to experience personalized funeral planning from the comfort of their homes.

Although this interview was recorded last November, the topics still felt relevant and insightful to share, especially as Effie helped me think about grief from a different perspective than my usual emotions-first approach. This conversation has also led to a nearly year-long exchange as different songs come to mind that relate to grief. While Effie initially notes she doesn’t really have any “grief songs,” as you’ll hear in our interview, she shared the song that we used for this week’s episode title, “In Case You Don’t Live Forever,” by Ben Platt during one of these follow-up discussions.

Bury Me in New Jersey is recorded in Hammonton, NJ, and is produced by Nick Rumaczyk. Our theme music is P to the A, by Anonymous Novels. Check out their page on SoundCloud to hear more of their work.

This week, we're sharing our conversation with Lori LoCicero and Lisa Pahl, creators of The Death Deck, a game and conversation tool consisting of 112 cards, allowing friends and family to share thoughts, stories, and preferences about life and death in a relaxed way.

Lori and Lisa first met when Lori’s husband, Joe, was on hospice and Lisa was their hospice nurse. The two felt an immediate connection during that time, and after Joe’s passing, their healing sessions continued for more than 2 years, exceeding the typical timeframe of hospice aftercare.

Beyond working through Lori’s own grief, their conversations grew to include their frustrations about how death was viewed as a “taboo” topic in our culture and how important it is to not only have these conversations but to have them early. From these discussions, the idea for The Death Deck was born.

For anyone who might be interested in checking this out for themselves, Lori and Lisa have been kind enough to offer $5 off your purchase of the game when you buy through their website, www.thedeathdeck.com, when you use the code BuryMe5, now until October 31st.

Produced by Nick Rumaczyk. Theme music: "P to the A" by Anonymous Novels.