Episode 2 of 4: Presence over Perfection: The Power of Being Present

In this episode of Building Up Fathers, we continue our exploration of what it means to show up for our kids in ways that shape them for life. Last week we confronted the myth of the perfect dad. This week we take a deeper step: learning that presence isn’t just being in the room. It’s offering our uninhibited attention.

Using real moments from our homes and research that reveals how kids interpret our focus, we dig into why presence is so hard in the modern world and how small intentional shifts can radically change the way our children experience us. The goal isn’t guilt. It’s clarity, encouragement, and a renewed invitation to enter our kids’ world the way our Father enters ours.

• Why presence is more than proximity and how kids feel the difference by age two

• The mental and emotional load fathers carry when they walk through the door

• How distraction unintentionally communicates disinterest, even when we don’t mean it

• Research showing how phones, screens, and “technoference” affect a child’s sense of security

• The contrast between what dads feel internally (stress, deadlines, fatigue) and what kids interpret

• Why kids misbehave more when they’re disconnected, and how behavior is often a bid for reconnection

• Setting family expectations: building small rhythms that help everyone transition well

• The weight of keeping our word and how broken promises, even small ones, shape trust

• Why entering your child’s world through play communicates love in a language they understand

• How only 20–30% attuned moments are enough to form strong, secure attachment

• Presence is attentive, not perfect

• Children don’t understand our stress; they understand our availability

• Misbehavior is often a signal, not an attack

• The way we handle transitions shapes the emotional climate of home

• Small rhythms of connection build long-term security

• Our attention reflects God’s heart: near, steady, and engaged

Your kids aren’t asking for a flawless dad. They’re asking for you. Even short moments of genuine attention anchor them in safety and belonging. Presence isn’t a grand gesture. It’s a repeated decision to enter their world, meet them where they are, and show them that nothing in your life is more important than their heart in that moment. This is where connection deepens, trust grows, and the foundation of fatherhood is strengthened, one attentive moment at a time.

Episode 1 of 4: Presence over Perfection: The Myth of the Perfect Dad

In this episode of Building Up Fathers, we begin a four-week journey exploring how real change as fathers starts with presence, not perfection. We often think improvement begins with fixing ourselves, getting organized, or trying to become the “ideal” parent. But our kids aren’t waiting for a flawless dad. They’re longing for one who simply shows up.

Drawing from real stories, honest failures, and everyday moments that feel heavier than they should, we talk through the pressures dads experience, especially the lies we believe about needing to be perfect before we can be present.

In This Episode:

• The power of simple gratitude and how it reframes a father’s day

• Parenting fail stories that remind us how perceptive kids really are, and how quickly our words can shape their world

• The tension between wanting to get things done and wanting to love our kids well

• Why “showing up” has two sides: physical presence and emotional presence

• The natural pull toward escape; phones, work, projects, and how it keeps us from being attentive fathers

• Healthy boundaries, tantrums, and why a child’s pushback doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong

• The idea that true independence is built on strong attachment, not early detachment

• The long-term view of fatherhood: raising kids into adults who choose to return to us because we were there for them

Key Themes:

• Being steady, near, reliable, and attentive

• Learning to join our kids in their emotions rather than fixing them

• Reframing fatherhood as a long-term investment

• Why our kids need our genuine presence more than our polished version

• How focusing on what matters pulls us closer to God’s heart for us as fathers

Takeaway:

Perfection never produced a healthy home, but presence does. The real win isn’t flawless parenting, it’s showing up again and again, even when you’re tired, imperfect, or unsure. That’s where connection is built. That’s where trust grows. And that’s where the heart of fatherhood lives.

In this episode of Building Up Fathers, we sit down for an honest conversation about the areas every dad needs to work on if we want to grow into the fathers our kids need.

We with real-life updates and “Parenting Wins,” where we share vulnerable stories about foster parenting, family recovery, and the beautiful chaos of being both dad and mom for a season. From there, the conversation dives deep into the heart of fatherhood, where growth begins with us.

Together we explore:

• What it means to move from autopilot to intentional parenting
• Why becoming a better father starts with healing our own brokenness
• The tension between wanting to lead spiritually and feeling like a hypocrite
• How kids learn more from what’s caught than taught
• The slow, steady growth that happens when we keep showing up and doing the work

This isn’t a “how-to” guide. It’s a real conversation about reflection, humility, and the pursuit of becoming whole men who can lead with love, patience, and purpose.

Being a dad today is both an incredible privilege and a weighty responsibility. Our kids don’t just need providers, they need present, intentional fathers who love, guide, protect, and model the kind of character that helps them flourish. The truth is, none of us step into fatherhood with it all figured out. We stumble, we learn, we succeed, and we fail. But every day is another gift to show up.

At the core of this podcast is the belief that fatherhood is a practice. It’s something we can grow into and strengthen over time. It’s not about perfection, but about progress. And as followers of Jesus, we recognize that we have the ultimate example in God Himself, our perfect Father. He is faithful, patient, and present, and He calls us to reflect His love in how we lead our families.

This podcast matters because dads matter. When fathers embrace growth, humility, and presence, it changes everything. Our homes, our marriages, our children’s futures, and even generations to come. These conversations, stories, and insights are here to encourage and challenge us to become more like the Father who first loved us. Together, we can learn to live as dads who show up fully, love deeply, and leave a lasting legacy.

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Proverbs 20:7 - "The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them."