In this wrap-up conversation for the Presence over Perfection theme, we sit down with our first guest father, Joel Kovacs, to explore what presence looks like over the long haul. This episode steps back from tactics and zooms out to the deeper work of fatherhood: how presence, health, and intentionality shape who our kids become over time.

We explore the tension many dads feel between providing, leading, and staying emotionally connected. This episode confronts the reality that being physically present is not the same as being emotionally safe, and that influence with our kids is built slowly through trust, consistency, and humility, not control or perfection.

In This Episode:

• How early assumptions about fatherhood often form unconsciously

• The difference between being reactionary as a dad and leading with intention

• Why healing your own story matters for how your kids experience you

• How presence creates influence, especially as kids grow into their teenage years

• The role of trust, emotional safety, and timing in shaping your child’s growth

• Learning when to speak, when to listen, and when to wait

• Why leadership in the home is more about influence than authority

Key Themes:

• Presence as a long-term investment

• Emotional health and self-awareness

• Influence built through trust

• Leadership through humility and clarity

• Intentional parenting over reactive parenting

Takeaway:

Presence is not a momentary choice, it is a posture built over years. This episode reminds us that our kids are always learning from who we are when we show up, not just from what we say. Growth in fatherhood requires both action and inner work, choosing to lead even when we feel unprepared, while committing to become healthier along the way. When fathers pursue presence with humility and intention, they create space for trust, influence, and lasting connection that carries far beyond childhood.

Episode 4 of 4: Presence over Perfection: Slowing Down to See Them

In this episode of Building Up Fathers, we close out our Presence over Perfection series by addressing one of the quietest but most destructive threats to connection in the home: unchecked busyness. Not bad intentions. Not lack of love. But a pace of life that leaves no room to actually see our kids.

We explore how presence doesn’t usually disappear in dramatic ways. It erodes slowly through hurry, distraction, and the belief that providing and productivity can substitute for connection. This conversation invites fathers to slow down, create margin, and recognize that the most meaningful moments with our kids often happen in the unplanned spaces.

Through real stories, analogies, and reflection, we look at how intentional slowing down builds safety, trust, and long-term relational health with our children.

In This Episode:

• Why busyness is the quiet enemy of presence, even when it feels responsible

• How kids experience rushed parents as unavailable parents

• The difference between scheduling connection and creating margin for it

• Why presence usually happens side by side, not face to face

• How hurried homes feel like hallways instead of rooms

• The long-term cost of trading once-in-a-lifetime moments for productivity

• Why providing for our families can become a hiding place instead of a gift

• How predictable rhythms and unhurried spaces build trust over time

Key Themes:

• Slowing down is about sustainability, not laziness

• Margin creates the space where real connection forms

• Children feel safest when access to us is predictable and pressure-free

• Presence shapes a child’s sense of worth more than accomplishment

• God’s posture toward us as fathers is steady, patient, and unhurried

Takeaway:

Presence grows when we slow our pace enough to notice what is right in front of us. Our kids do not need more productivity, better schedules, or finished projects. They need access to us. When we create margin, we create room for trust. And when trust is built, relationships last far beyond the season when our children still need us.

Episode 3 of 4: Presence over Perfection: When You Fall Short

In this episode of Building Up Fathers, we step into one of the most uncomfortable but necessary parts of fatherhood: what happens when we miss it. Losing patience, speaking too harshly, choosing control over connection. Not if it happens, but when it happens.

We talk honestly about real moments of failure, especially around bedtime, stress, and exhaustion, and how those moments reveal what kind of father we believe ourselves to be. More importantly, we explore how presence shows up most clearly not in getting everything right, but in how we respond after we get it wrong.

Drawing from personal stories, parenting struggles, and hard-earned insight, this episode reframes failure as a crossroads. One path leads to shame and withdrawal. The other leads back toward humility, repair, and deeper trust with our kids.

In This Episode:

• Real stories of falling short as dads and the tension between control and compassion

• Why bedtime often exposes our limits more than any other part of the day

• The difference between guilt and shame, and how each one shapes our response

• Why conviction invites repair while condemnation pushes us into isolation

• The power of apologizing to our kids and how it models strength, not weakness

• How our children learn how to handle failure by watching how we handle ours

• The long-term impact of choosing reconnection over defensiveness

Key Themes:

• Presence is proven in repair, not perfection

• Guilt points us toward growth while shame attacks our identity

• Our value as fathers is not defined by our worst moments

• Children need honesty and humility more than flawless leadership

• Healing in our kids often begins when we take responsibility without excuses

Takeaway:

Every father falls short. The question is what we do next. When we choose humility over pride and reconnection over retreat, we show our kids that love is stronger than failure. Presence is not about never messing up. It is about coming back, owning it, and staying engaged. That is where trust is rebuilt. That is where hearts stay connected.