We don't have a strength problem. We have a permission problem."

The conversation with Quincey Roberts Sr., Victor "Coach" Hicks, and Victor Terry ended. But Craig Aarons-Martin wasn't done.

This is the after show — a raw, unscripted solo reflection recorded in the quiet after one of the most necessary conversations Brave Voices has ever held. No panel. No guests. Just Craig sitting with what the brothers said the night before and following it to its honest conclusion.

What you'll hear in this episode:

The real statistics on Black men's mental health in 2026 — suicide rates, access to care, and what we're doing about it. Why 1 in 2 Black adults are dealing with mood or anxiety disorders, but only 2 in 10 Black men ever actually access care. What fills that gap — and why healing circles, men's groups, fraternal spaces, and community matter more than we admit.

The cost of code-switching. Every room calculated. Every version of yourself managed. That's a tax. For Black queer men, it's a double tax. And the toll it takes never appears on a death certificate.

Victor Hicks said something Craig can't put down: "Some of us have never been loved without an asterisk." Conditional love isn't love — it's a lease agreement. And what happens when blood doesn't show up but someone else does. That's not a consolation prize. That's grace.

A word for Black women who are holding this alongside us. For Black fathers trying to pass something better forward. And for this generation of Black boys — who are already rebuking everything that broke the generations before them — and who deserve spaces that can hold their full, imperfect, powerful selves.

And finally: why Craig is in three different groups right now, has a therapist, and made a conscious decision that his future inheritance will be holistically forward, vibrant, and thriving.

"We die every day from the things we don't say — things that never find themselves on a death certificate."

Listen to the full live conversation — What Black Queer Men Carry — wherever you found this episode.

📗 Creating Brave Spaces for LGBTQIA+ Youth (ASCD/ISTE): ascd.org📅 Work with Craig: calendly.com/ccmeducationgroup/discovery-call🌐 ccmeducationgroup.co | @iamcraigaaronsmartin | @bravevoicespod

#BraveVoices #BlackMentalHealth #WhatBlackQueerMenCarry #PermissionProblem #HealingJustice #Brotherhood #BlackMen #MensHealthMonth

Brave Voices in Education is a production of CCM Education Group Consulting LLC.© 2026 Craig Aarons-Martin. All rights reserved

"Man up is one of the most expensive pieces of advice we ever gave Black boys. It costs our souls so much."— Craig Aarons-Martin

Most people think Moonlight is a film about being gay. Host Craig Aarons-Martin — Black queer man, NAESP National Distinguished Principal, and proud Phi Beta Sigma — sat down with three D9 brothers to argue otherwise.

This episode uses Barry Jenkins' Oscar-winning film as a doorway into the conversations Black men — queer and straight, have been waiting to have. What does it cost to perform masculinity every day? What does it mean to belong to a brotherhood that is both a gift and a growth edge? What is actually hiding behind "he's dealing with demons"?

Joining Craig are the co-founder of the Hispanic Black Gay Coalition, Quincey J. Roberts Sr., educator and founder of Coding with Culture Victor Hicks, and president of Iota Phi Theta Boston and founder of Necessary Means Consulting Victor Terry — all D9 men, all willing to go there.

In this episode:

— Why Chiron's hardest weight had nothing to do with his sexuality— Victor Terry's first experience of a straight man saying "if you're gay, that's okay" — and why it changed everything— Victor Hicks on centering Blackness first and why "gay was about 17th on my list in Chicago."— Quincey's raw honesty: an openly gay father still catching himself telling his son, "don't be soft."— Why the American Empire demands Black men be labor, not human— D9 Brotherhood, the Pride post, and whether our organizations are willing to lead— The mental health crisis behind "he's dealing with demons."— Why Victor Hicks called individualism the biggest drug plaguing the Black community— Practical tools: mental health plans, feelings wheels, journaling, therapy, and community

"Don't nobody know what it's like to be a Black man in America but a Black man."— Victor Terry

This conversation is for Black queer men. It's also for every brother who loves one, works with one, is raising one, or simply recognizes that the performance of masculinity has cost all of us something.

The conversation is not over. This is just part one.

📗 Craig's book: Creating Brave Spaces for LGBTQIA+ Youth (ASCD/ISTE) — ascd.org🌐 ccmeducationgroup.co | @iamcraigaaronsmartin | @bravevoicespod

#BraveVoices #BlackMentalHealth #Moonlight #BlackQueerMen #D9 #Brotherhood #PhiBetaSigma #IotaPhiTheta #HealingJustice

What are men really carrying right now?

In Part 3 of What Men Carry, Craig Aarons-Martin sits down with two clinically credentialed social workers — Alan-Michael Chest, M.Ed., LMHC, SAC and Adrian White, LCSW, LCAS, CCS — for one of the most honest conversations we've had in this space.

We talk about what it costs a man to not know who he is. We talk about seeking love from people who were never meant to give it. We talk about the dangerous contradiction of telling men not to feel — and then wondering why they explode.

This episode covers:

• How healers take care of themselves when the work gets heavy
• Identity and what happens when someone else writes your story for you
• Where social media and pop culture are getting it dangerously wrong on Black men's mental health
• The longing for fathering that shows up in grown men — and how good therapists meet it
• Why men are flocking to therapy more than the narrative suggests
• What it means to stop seeking love from people who aren't meant to give it
• Practical tools for men who are ready to do the work

Guest audience member Byron Garcia also joins with a powerful reflection on rebuilding after loss and finding your tribe.

This is real talk. No scripts. No performance. Just brothers in conversation.

#BraveMoves: Share this episode with one man in your life who needs to hear it.

Connect with our guests:

Alan-Michael Chest, M.Ed., LMHC, SAC (Professor C)YouTube: youtube.com/@visionsofprofessorcmovementTikTok: @visionsofprofessorcEmail: achest89@gmail.com | pcmentalmovement@gmail.com

Adrian White, LCSW, LCAS, CCSWebsite: ajwtherapy.comInstagram: @adrianwhite23

Connect with Craig Aarons-Martin:Website: ccmeducationgroup.coInstagram: @iamcraigaaronsmartin | @bravevoicespodEmail: craig@ccmeducationgroup.coBook a discovery call: calendly.com/ccmeducationgroup/discovery-call

#WhatMenCarry #BraveMoves #BraveVoices #BlackMensMentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #BlackMen #Healing #Identity #SelfLove #Manhood