If you’re watching this episode and you think we’re being held hostage, put down the phone. We moved into a new Joop studio, and we brought our commentary on The Gift of the Magi with us. We’re back from Florida with the bee stings, sunburns, and good retirement vibes to prove it. We delve into what we consumed on our various plane rides. Molly read two new romantasies, Arcana Academy by Elise Kova and Dire Bound by Sable Sorensen (sure). Claire finally watched Fever Pitch and The Social Network. We also met a new AI frenemy at writing class.

This episode features Ireland as a silent third host. We read St. Patrick’s day short stories we’ve written, inspired by the Emerald Isle herself, and are generally pale and freckled. We show unbelievable restraint with accents, mostly deployed to mock the English. And, as always, we catch up on recent culture and content consumption, including the Traitors finale, Bridgerton part two, Square Waves by Alexandra Romanoff, and School Spirits season 3.

First of all, head to YouTube to see Molly’s latest hat. She may be auditioning for the next season of White Lotus, or the next adaptation of Clueless. This week, we clock in on various casting announcements, including Beach Read and Every Year After. We also roast the hairstyling on Traitors and a troubling trend we’re noticing at boutique fitness classes. Finally, we workshop passages from our drafts and try to find the magic of Christmas.

Get ready to get your Heights Wuthered— we’re talking book AND movie. We’re also engaging in an experiential interpretation of the novel by being insane and finding romance on this, the 200th day of winter. Spoiler, Molly’s “most romantic” this week is a stranger reminding her to buckle her seatbelt. We also talk about Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, Pillion, Rob Rausch, and Claire’s forever valentine.

At My Cottage, the MeUndies stay on. This week, we change our tune on Bridgerton after seeing the stairwell scene that would make even Belly Conklin blush. Molly recounts the plot of F1 while actively fighting her need to talk about Top Gun: Maverick. Finally, we review the Kindle Unlimited Valentine’s Day short story collection, which somehow includes two murders and two attempted murders.

Will you be our valentine? We wrote you romantic short stories! To round out the bouquet, we offer you incisive commentary on Bridgerton season 4 (first two eps), Finding Her Edge (up until the last 8 min), and Kate Alice Marshall’s What Lies in the Woods (at the halfway mark— but you’ll find that Molly correctly guesses it’s a Slenderman situation). If you decide to accept our valentine offer, you can find Claire at the Irish Exit bar at Penn Station.

We may not be women in STEM but that doesn’t mean we don’t know chemistry. This week, we briefly put down our hot chocolate to discuss what makes sparks fly off the page and workshop passages from our books. Also on the agenda: Luke and Lorelai, the Beast Games, and a review of Brooke Averick’s debut novel. Plus, we determine that Rob from Traitors has chemistry with…us? Claire wants everyone to know that she’s been corrected on her usage of “viscous” and that she has contact dermatitis on her eye.

It’s the Heated Rivalry episode, you pervs! We’re talking about everyone’s favorite on-page, on-screen, on-ice romance. Our culture catch-up also touches on Tell Me Lies, His and Hers, Katherine Center’s Rom-Commers, and Audible’s full cast Harry Potter productions. And if you notice that Claire is blonder and more starry eyed than usual, it’s because she recently paid a visit to one of the great loves of her life— Charles the hairdresser, whom Molly had to break up with because he kept giving her The Rachel.