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  • S is for sadness

    S is for sadness
    2025/06/06
    In this honest and emotionally vulnerable episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with therapist and guide dog user Darran Zenger for a heartfelt discussion on one of our most avoided emotions—sadness.
    Darran opens up about preparing to say goodbye to his beloved guide dog, sharing what it’s like to sit in the rawness of grief while still showing up with empathy and presence. Bill reflects on the loss of his own father and the misguided emotional norms he grew up with, particularly the message that “men don’t cry.”

    Together, they unpack:
    The nature of sadness as neither good nor bad
    The toxic cultural expectations—especially for men—to suppress emotion
    The difference between sadness and depression
    How suppressed grief can manifest as anger or even violence
    Practical tools for navigating sadness: music, movement, journaling, reaching out, and community
    Whether you're grieving, caring for someone who is, or just trying to understand your own emotions better, this episode is a powerful invitation to feel more deeply and heal more fully.

    Chapter Markers 00:00 – Opening: Mental health is not a luxury 01:05 – Introducing sadness: it’s not good or bad, it just is 02:24 – Bill’s personal story about emotional suppression 04:05 – Darran’s guide dog and sitting with loss 07:00 – The masculine pressure to suppress emotion 09:30 – The cost of unprocessed sadness 11:58 – Toxic positivity and being told to “buckle up” 14:27 – The need for empathy over solutions 16:37 – Sadness vs. depression: how to tell the difference 20:36 – What sadness looks like in daily life 22:00 – Music, movement, and peanut butter: self-care ideas 25:24 – Writing and drawing as emotional processing tools 26:56 – The power of bilateral stimulation and nature walks 29:13 – Medication, sleep, and the role of therapy 31:17 – Group therapy and peer support for grief 33:38 – Final thoughts: it’s okay to feel 35:58 – Next time on Blindsight: “A is for Anger”
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    38 分
  • Happy, Joy, and Everything in Between

    Happy, Joy, and Everything in Between
    2025/05/30
    In this emotionally rich and affirming episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren welcomes back therapist Darran Zenger for a deep conversation on the often misunderstood emotion of happiness. Together, they dissect the difference between genuine happiness, put-on smiles, and the more enduring sensation of joy.
    Darran opens up about his own challenges, including navigating life with Usher Syndrome, and how reframing small moments—like enjoying French fries or a favorite soda—can rewire the mind toward happiness. He emphasizes that happiness is a moment-to-moment experience, while joy is the cumulative result of consistent presence and meaningful connection.

    Bill and Darran also discuss:
    Why society often discourages men from feeling emotions
    How feelings are tools, not judgments
    The subtle ways addiction can numb happiness
    The power of gratitude and vulnerability
    Why we need to give ourselves permission to be happy
    From McDonald’s Coke to Brene Brown’s research, this episode is a vibrant blend of personal stories, clinical wisdom, and soul-nourishing reminders that you’re not alone—and that you deserve to feel happy.

    Chapter Markers:
    00:03 – Welcome to Blindsight: Introducing feelings series
    01:52 – Men, emotions, and societal norms
    04:45 – What is happiness? Reframing and redefining joy
    07:13 – Positive affirmations and “fake it till you make it”
    09:38 – Blindness, dating, and reframing rejection
    11:48 – The power of identity beyond disability
    13:57 – Connection over perfection and Brene Brown’s research
    16:22 – Joy vs. happiness: Daily choices and long-term reward
    18:31 – Outdoor joy: Hiking and hunting analogies
    20:45 – Chemical imbalance, grief, and suppressing emotion
    23:12 – The danger of judging emotions as “bad” or “good”
    25:35 – Emotional numbness: Brene Brown and the hand analogy
    27:59 – Using emotions as data: Embracing the full spectrum
    30:25 – Permission for happiness and being your own worst critic
    32:48 – Comparing ourselves, social media, and boundaries
    35:13 – Final encouragement: Give yourself grace and pursue connection

    Contact Info & Feedback:
    Email: feedback@aftersight.org
    Voicemail Line: (720) 712-8856
    Let us know your thoughts, questions, or emotional check-ins. We’d love to hear from you.
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    36 分
  • Vision Loss Isn't a Flaw

    Vision Loss Isn't a Flaw
    2025/05/23
    In this heartfelt and inspiring episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with Neva Fairchild—an advocate, counselor, and technological leader in the blind community—for a powerful conversation about resilience, adaptation, and acceptance. Born with a visual impairment that went undiagnosed until preschool, Neva takes us through her journey of coping with undiagnosed Stargardt disease, the challenges of navigating school without accommodations, and ultimately building a career that has reshaped the lives of others with vision loss. Neva shares how she learned to stop hiding her condition, embraced assistive technology, and found her true calling later in life among those who not only lived with blindness—but thrived in it. Her story is a call to action to advocate for better services, honest conversations with doctors and families, and the dignity that comes from asking for help.
    Neva’s journey is one of transformation—from a child who struggled to be understood, to a national leader who now empowers others to live well with vision loss.

    Key Topics Covered:
    Neva’s early signs of vision loss and misdiagnosis
    Learning to pass in a sighted world and the emotional toll
    Breaking through shame and isolation by meeting others with blindness
    How technology and the right support changed everything
    Her work with AFB and advocacy for older adults with vision loss
    The importance of honesty, asking for help, and normalizing blindness

    Chapter Markers:
    00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight
    01:00 – Neva’s diagnosis and early childhood struggles
    04:45 – Going blind in adulthood: The emotional and medical shock
    07:00 – Coping mechanisms, stubbornness, and a hunger to live fully
    10:00 – The power of blind community and assistive technology
    12:20 – Transitioning from enlargement to screen readers
    14:30 – The shame of visibility and learning to accept her identity
    17:00 – Career in blindness rehab and helping others thrive
    21:00 – Advocacy for better doctor referrals and more vision specialists
    23:45 – Final advice: "Blindness isn’t a character flaw"
    26:00 – Closing thoughts and contact info
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    26 分
  • 12-Step: your questions answered

    12-Step: your questions answered
    2025/05/09
    In this special episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren and producer Jonathan Price respond to listener-submitted questions about their recent 12-part series on the 12-Step Program. From fear of surrender in Step 1 to doubts about spiritual connection in Step 11 and uncertainty about helping others in Step 12, this conversation is raw, honest, and deeply human.

    Listeners from across the U.S. and beyond wrote in to ask deeply personal questions:
    How do I surrender without giving up on myself?
    What if my moral inventory in Step 4 changes how I see myself?
    How can I make amends without reopening wounds?
    What do I do when God feels distant?
    Can I really help someone else if I’m still healing?
    Bill shares real-world insights and practical, compassionate guidance rooted in decades of therapeutic experience. Jonathan offers encouragement, reframing each question with empathy and hope. The episode ends with a teaser for their next mini-series: exploring four foundational emotions—mad, glad, sad, and scared—and how these emotions interplay with logic, recovery, and identity.
    Whether you’re in recovery or walking alongside someone who is, this episode offers a powerful reminder: you are not alone, and healing is possible.

    ⏱️ Chapter Markers:
    00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight
    00:46 – Letters from Listeners
    02:30 – Shannon (Step 1): Letting Go Without Losing Yourself
    09:45 – Devin (Step 4): Afraid of What I’ll Find
    17:10 – Tasha (Step 9): Making Amends Without Causing Harm
    22:00 – Chris (Step 11): Feeling Spiritually Blocked
    26:45 – Ellie (Step 12): Can I Help While Still Healing?
    31:45 – What’s Next: Mad, Glad, Sad, and Scared
    33:55 – Feedback & Farewell
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    36 分
  • Still Here: A Marine’s Fight to Live Again

    Still Here: A Marine’s Fight to Live Again
    2025/05/01
    In this raw and transformative episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with Zach Tidwell, a blind Marine Corps veteran, adaptive athlete, software developer, and suicide survivor. Zach shares the deeply personal story of his journey—from a suicide attempt that left him blind and deaf in one ear, to confronting alcoholism, a devastating Huntington’s diagnosis, and ultimately rebuilding a life of resilience and purpose. Through adaptive sports, therapy, coding, and brutal self-honesty, Zach not only survived—he thrived. Zach speaks openly about the critical importance of speaking up, learning healthy coping strategies, asking for help, and embracing your agency in the face of despair. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing internal battles—or for those supporting someone who is. ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicide and addiction. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988, and press 1 if you're a veteran. Contact Information: Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 for veterans Aftersight Feedback Line: (720) 712-8856 Email: feedback@aftersight.org Zach Tidwell Website: https://www.zachtidwell.net Podcast: Going in Blind with Zach Tidwell (available on all platforms) Chapter Markers: 00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight 01:05 – Meet Zach Tidwell: Marine, survivor, and adaptive athlete 02:14 – Betrayal, trauma, and the downward spiral 04:38 – Depression, drinking, and suicidal thoughts 06:53 – Surviving a self-inflicted gunshot wound 09:11 – “I’m not making salt and pepper shakers” — reclaiming identity 11:31 – Adaptive sports and rediscovering independence 13:52 – The power of speaking up during the lowest point 16:13 – Why Zach became a blind software developer 18:23 – Relapse and the battle with alcoholism 20:46 – Xanagrams and finding purpose through accessibility 22:45 – Accountability, acceptance, and hard choices 25:03 – The final drink: December 5, 2023 27:26 – The Huntington’s diagnosis and choosing to live intentionally 29:53 – Competing in sports and doing it differently 32:19 – Adapting your world by accepting help 34:39 – VA Blind Rehab Services and veteran resources 36:44 – Suicide prevention hotline and how to get help 38:00 – Zach’s projects, book, and podcast 40:10 – Final thoughts: Growth is painful but worth it
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    42 分
  • Step 12: The Power of Showing Up

    Step 12: The Power of Showing Up
    2025/04/25
    In this heartfelt and grounded episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren wraps up the 12-step series with guest Kevin Petersen, focusing on Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous: Having had a spiritual awakening... we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
    Kevin brings clarity, humor, and wisdom to the spiritual and practical sides of Step 12. They unpack what a “spiritual awakening” really looks like—hint: it’s not lightning bolts—and how helping others starts with showing up and being human. This conversation digs deep into humility, relapse, perfectionism, and why stability is the new sexy. Whether you’re in recovery, love someone who is, or just want to live a more honest and connected life, this episode is a gift.

    ⏱️ Chapter Markers
    00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight
    01:00 – Step 12: Reading and breakdown
    02:15 – The circle and triangle: spiritual and technical meaning
    03:50 – Carrying the mess vs. the message
    04:35 – Having a spiritual awakening: what it really means
    06:40 – Humility and helping others (without losing yourself)
    09:20 – “Stability is the new sexy”
    10:55 – What’s the message we carry? (Hint: It’s hope)
    13:00 – Relapse, grace, and compassion in recovery
    15:50 – Why shame doesn’t heal anyone
    17:45 – Perfectionism in the blind and disabled communities
    20:30 – God moments, FaceTime sign language, and awareness
    22:50 – Practicing the principles in all our affairs
    25:15 – Humanity > Perfection
    27:45 – Recovery as a second chance
    30:15 – Final thoughts: Community, flexibility, and finding joy
    32:30 – Feedback invitation and contact info

    📞 Contact Info
    Phone: (720) 712-8856
    Email: feedback@aftersight.org
    Website: aftersight.org
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    34 分
  • Conscious Contact: Prayer, Will, and the 11th Step

    Conscious Contact: Prayer, Will, and the 11th Step
    2025/04/18
    In this deeply reflective episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren and returning guest Joe dive into Step 11 of the 12-Step Program:
    “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”
    Together, they explore the tension and beauty in surrendering our will, discuss the spiritual ambiguity many newcomers wrestle with, and unpack the core purpose of prayer and meditation in recovery—not as a way to get what we want, but to align ourselves with something far more trustworthy: God’s will. With honesty and care, the conversation touches on religious trauma, the fluidity of the "higher power" concept, and the sacred act of showing up each morning and simply asking.
    Bill and Joe also unpack the Prayer of St. Francis, the importance of not running the show, and why taking it easy isn’t laziness—it’s wisdom.

    ⏱️ Chapter Markers:
    00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight
    01:15 – What is Step 11?
    02:15 – Joe’s background with God entering recovery
    04:00 – Religious trauma and spiritual abuse
    06:30 – Higher Power vs “God” terminology
    07:45 – Bill W, Carl Jung, and Benedictine roots
    09:15 – “Upon awakening…” – morning meditation guidance
    12:30 – Asking for freedom from self-will
    13:50 – “Take it easy” and the myth of urgency
    14:30 – Ambition, success, and God’s will
    17:00 – Suffering, Job, and the mystery of evil
    19:00 – The Prayer of St. Francis
    21:30 – Self-care vs. helping others
    23:00 – The trap of codependency and false humility
    26:30 – The train-and-candle metaphor
    28:15 – Richard Rohr, atheism, and a hostile universe
    30:00 – Drops of God: how to seek and notice
    31:50 – Final thoughts: “Keep coming back. It works.”

    📞 Contact Us
    Got feedback? Questions? Want to share your story?
    📧 Email: feedback@aftersight.org
    📞 Call/Text: 720-712-8856
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    33 分
  • Step 10: When Being Right Feels Wrong

    Step 10: When Being Right Feels Wrong
    2025/04/11
    In this raw and thoughtful episode of Blindsight, Bill Lundgren sits down with Joe, a longtime friend and retired physician who brings 34 years of personal recovery experience to the mic. Together, they dive into Step 10 of the 12-step program: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” But as Joe reveals, it’s not always about being wrong. Sometimes, it’s about being right—and still needing to take a step back. This episode unpacks the tricky territory of righteous anger, resentment, and the danger of spiritual pride, especially in a world full of division and injustice. Joe opens up about the personal coal of unresolved bitterness and how Step 10 keeps him grounded, honest, and able to maintain serenity. From real-time reflections on political outrage to resisting hatred when you feel justified, this conversation is a must-hear for anyone striving to stay clean, sober, and spiritually awake in a chaotic world.

    Chapter Markers:
    00:00 – Intro: Time to Fight. Time to Thrive.
    01:30 – What is Step 10 and why does it matter now?
    04:00 – Righteous anger and how it steals serenity
    07:15 – Resentment disguised as justice
    10:00 – A personal example: healthcare rage and assassination
    13:45 – When resentment turns into internal damage
    16:30 – The difference between hopelessness and serenity
    18:45 – Anger vs. Resentment: Why addicts must pause
    21:00 – Maintaining relationships across divides
    24:00 – The challenge of taking a kindly view of everyone
    27:30 – Walking away without severing ties
    30:00 – Resentment, prevention, and avoiding future amends
    32:30 – Choosing peace over being right
    34:00 – Final thoughts and hope for those still fighting

    Contact Info:
    📞 Feedback line: (720) 712-8865
    📧 Email: feedback@aftersight.org
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    37 分