For Bianca, the catalyst of her Borderline Personality Disorder was the cultural pressure of living in a Middle Eastern family that provided the basics in life, but no emotional connection or support. With eldest-daughter expectations, and the heavy silence that comes when a family outsources its pain to one child, Bianca became the out-of-control truth bearer in her family system.
After her tumultuous upbringing that included self-harm, suicidal thinking, and an abusive relationship, Bianca finally found mentors in her life that taught her how to break free from her trauma through intensive therapy. As a therapist, Bianca now brings practitioner-level clarity to the therapies that helped her, including dialectical behavior therapy and a move towards dignity, respect, and choice.
Is BPD destiny or environment? How do cultural narratives around “keeping up appearances” entrench shame? Why do personality disorders draw harsher judgment than mood disorders, and what happens when we reframe symptoms as human experiences with the dial turned up? For Bianca, identity instability isn’t a life sentence; it’s a signal that can be understood, soothed, and redesigned.
If this conversation helps you rethink stigma, see yourself with more softness, or pick up one new skill to use when the storm hits, pass it on. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs proof that intensity can become intention. Your story might be the mirror someone else is missing.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

Picking up from Part 1, Gregg is now stuck in what he calls “two years of bipolar hell.” But when he is finally prescribed lithium, within a week his depression lifts. Coming out of depression, he still had work to do—repairing familial and professional relationships.

Greg had also been angry with God for abandoning him and forcing him to live in misery. Lithium not only put Gregg’s depression at bay, but it also allowed him to repair his relationship with God. As treatment begins working, his faith gradually returned, becoming instrumental to his recovery strategy.

Most inspiring is how Gregg transformed his diagnosis into purpose. After losing his military identity, he discovered a new mission in mental health advocacy – work he now considers more important than his distinguished military career. His recovery philosophy centers on medication management, therapy, healthy lifestyle choices, and maintaining an "attitude of gratitude" even during difficult periods. And Gregg makes a stunning admission: if given the choice between never having bipolar disorder or his current life as an advocate, he would choose the latter.

Share an episode of Bipolar She during Suicide Prevention Month to help normalize these crucial conversations about mental health. Together, we can reduce stigma and potentially save lives.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

Major General Gregg F. Martin had, for the most part of his life, lived with hyperthymia, a continuous low-level mania that ultimately helped his military performance because he was energetic, creative, and driven. But after commanding a 10,000-soldier combat brigade in Iraq, Gregg’s descent into mania and depression would span a decade.

With a late diagnosis at age 58, Gregg challenges our understanding of bipolar disorder, revealing his belief that mental illness can progress along a spectrum rather than appearing suddenly. For Gregg, the Iraq War became the tipping point, transforming his beneficial hyperthymic traits into dangerous mania, and ultimately life-threatening depression. As his condition worsened, colleagues reported his erratic behavior, leading to forced retirement and removal as president of the National Defense University.

The most haunting aspects of Gregg's story involve his descent into psychosis and passive suicidal ideation – such as experiencing fear from an "invisible force" that could take hold of him and thrust him into oncoming traffic. His journey from battlefield commander to psychiatric patient illuminates the complex relationship between trauma, high-stress environments, and mental health. Now an author and advocate, Gregg's experiences offer profound insights for anyone struggling with mental illness or supporting someone who is.

This episode contains detailed discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation.

Gregg's book:

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

The first time I lost my mind was at Dartmouth College. By my junior year I was walking through campus with psychosis. A movie camera followed me wherever I went. I imagined myself dying in beautiful and surreal ways. And ultimately I wanted my life to end.

In this episode with fellow writer, JD, I share my first experiences with bipolar disorder. When I welcome guests on the show, I want them to know I've had hard times as well.

Memory is imperfect. Old delusions and imagination swirl together. You may notice a swift change in seasons, when my memory of a summer hospitalization is told as if it were a freezing winter day. Because that’s what memory can do...combine feelings and images in a way that captures an experience, even if imprecise.

Join me and write your difficult memories down. Let stories emerge. Contact me to tell your stories. We need fearless voices to fight stigma and shame. Is it too much to demand new treatments and cures? Let's get there one story at a time.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

In the original episode "Raw My Doctor Violated Me," Madelynn revealed how her psychiatrist of three years gradually started to make sexual advances. Her marriage was falling apart and she was vulnerable. How could this doctor who had provided counsel and care become inappropriate?

With humor and even wondering if his words and physical contact were some form of cutting edge therapy, her confusion and shame ran deep. Wanting to find solace with a physician after her dad died, she pushed the abuse she was suffering out of her mind. With time and therapy, she learned that this was not her fault and that psychiatric professionals have boundaries to hold.

In this follow-up episode, I have another conversation with Madelynn. We didn't know she was going to share this story in the first episode, so I wanted to check in with her and see how it felt to hear her voice while talking about trauma. And Madelynn is tough--she learned how she was using humor during the podcast and having incomplete thoughts. And her storytelling--when it comes to trauma--is right on. We revisit ideas and learn about changes within Madelynn, in nonlinear story, which is how we work through trauma. And in this episode Madelynn finds her footing, accepting she was a victim and that this abuse should never have happened to her.

This story is ideal for anyone starting to voice their story of trauma. Or for friends and relatives that can make a space to safely talk about hard stories. We feel better and are enlightened when we repeatedly examine our trauma. Victimhood can be converted into ownership of an extremely hard time. Thank you, Madelynn, for being a rockstar and helping others learn we have to speak up.

Part 1: RAW My Doctor Violated Me on Apple Podcasts

Part 1: RAW My Doctor Violated Me on Spotify

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

When I rescued a dog, I never imagined the impact she would have on my mental health. Sure, her presence and warmth was calming and healing, but my dog Amber taught me a crucial lesson about how to handle my bipolar disorder.

Happy to have a rescue dog in my life, things went downhill when a doctor put me on an antidepressant (which is a risky medication move if you have bipolar illness). And for me, it sent me into mania and then psychosis. In order to get care, I had to leave Amber home alone. And while trapped in a psych hospital, I had no way to get any care for her. As the clocked ticked by, my dog was home alone. She finally did get care, but when I returned, she showed signs of distress and this made me feel awful. She taught me that my illness impacts those around us--especially loved ones.

In this mini-remix I talk to JD about how this experience changed my life and has helped me prevent hospitalizations. Sometimes our greatest teachers have fur and four legs.

Recorded & Edited at ModernTone Studios.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

What happens when bipolar disorder collides with unexpected pregnancy? For Betsi it was a frightening time knowing a bipolar episode can be triggered by pregnancy and that bipolar illness has a genetic component that may be passed down to your child.

And Betsi had already endured several hospitalizations in her early adulthood. She also was under the care of a doctor who misdiagnosed her and took her off all psychiatric medications, only to result in an episode that could have been prevented. After finding stability with the right psychiatrist and medication, she and her husband had made peace with not having children. But when she unexpectedly became pregnant after nine years of marriage, Betsi soon found herself in the psychiatric ward, experiencing a break from reality while carrying her child.

The recovery process during pregnancy and her daughter's first year was exhausting, but Betsi discovered unexpected reservoirs of strength. Her small-town Ohio community, supportive husband, and Mennonite church provided crucial stability. Most powerfully, she reveals how confronting her own childhood trauma, growing up with an alcoholic father, has been essential to her healing journey – and her determination to break that cycle for her daughter.

Now stable for thirteen years, Betsi's story challenges simplistic notions about bipolar disorder being purely biological, highlighting how childhood environments can influence brain chemistry and mental health outcomes. Her journey offers hope that with proper treatment, support, and courage to face the past, living well with bipolar disorder – even through unexpected challenges – is absolutely possible.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

What happens when the joyful arrival of a baby triggers an unexpected mental health crisis? When Susan returned home with her newborn, she was in a manic state. Fueled by little sleep with an infant to care for, her behavior became erratic--rushing around the house, even handling her baby carelessly. Her husband David told Susan that it felt like he was suddenly living with two strangers--a wife he didn't recognize and a child he didn't yet know.

It would take their doula's observation and advice that Susan was not just a fatigued new mother, but that she needed immediate help.

However, without effective treatment, Susan went back to work completely manic, losing her job. She would then alternate between a depressive fog and a manic state, ultimately landing her at McLean hospital for a harrowing three week stay. Rebuilding her life would include ECT, years on disability, and finally getting care from expert providers.

Susan's mothering instinct now shines through by coaching those living with bipolar disorder and helping them design lives and careers. Perhaps most movingly, Susan developed a profound bond with her child, now eighteen years old despite such rough early years.

At the top of the show I mention Susan's dedication to Bipolar Social Club, and online support group with weekly meetings, special programming and an online discussion board. As a member, I am grateful for the support BSC offers!

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping