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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships

Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships

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 Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he spent more time than ever at his girlfriend’s house. We have our own homes. Mark shares some frustration that came up and talks about why that might be. Then he brings up age. He specifically wants to pinpoint romantic/sexual relationships. Not platonic Mark thinks all guys want to have this discussion Jim brings up his 40 year relationship - married for 35 years Jim doesn’t believe we were meant to be together”forever”. He thinks marriage contracts should be like other licenses. Tests, updates, renewals, etc…terms and conditions He talks about renegotiating the marriage license. Reevaluate and reconsider He thinks relationships end because communication stops Mark shares his Catholic position where marriage is a sacrament which makes things a bit different Mark shares his frustration about communicating with his girlfriend as they age. Hearing and talking. Mark thinks is due to being together for 6 years and getting older Mark was saddened by the Belichick interview. How terrible the interview was to his reputation Jim thinks Belichick is at fault. Jim brings up his first hand experience with pro athletes and celebrity/praise Both guys are a bit taken aback with the lack of self awareness. What about his daughter? Mark laughs about what his daughters would say Mark thinks both people are at fault. Belichick is the older more powerful player. Mark thinks they both have ulterior motive Mark continues to be interested in the contract topic Mark feels he has a responsibility to bring up these conversation with his girlfriend and take some responsibility for the outcome Jim says calling a woman crazy is the new “C” word. He believes woman drive everything. They are the way they are due to evolution. Male and female roles and the woman’s menstrual cycle. Jim describes his view of why woman act the way they do. Mark thinks all of that is true, but…both guys know that discussion would be challenging:) Jim thinks often that women tells things that are not necessarily what they really feel Mark brings up examples of men and women who talked and set expectations before committing to one another. He thinks these discussions about expectations can make long term relationships last Jim agrees and says yes…but you also have to keep having them, adjusting and adapting. Keep discussing things as they change. Understanding the different roles id critical Also, we have more recently been confusing men and women about who they are Mark talks about his mom and dad’s divorce. He shares a few stories about their vastly different memories of different disagreements Jim likes the idea of the “vortex” Mark jokes about having had experience with “said vortex” with his ex-wife Mark feels strongly that self awareness is important and many of us don’t have it Mark thinks Belichick misses the attention. He feels we all need to adjust and replace as we age Mark recounts how he went inside to find blame with his frustration with his girlfriend and how helpful that is Jim shares a couple more stories. One friend was struggling with his marriage and the other was trying to help. He puts it in perspective of the vortex…his buddy ended up getting divorced. Beware the vortex The spell a woman has on a man Mark thinks we all have the ability to manipulate and we need to take this responsibility seriously Jim’s female friend shared an opinion that men are dumb and woman are far more complex. He feels men stay much the same and women change a lot. He defines what he feels are mens roles and women’s roles. Mark feels both people in a relationship have responsibilities to be kind and respectful Jim shares more of his opinion about roles. Mark reaffirms the differences between men and women and claims we should celebrate these differences He ends with the importance of communication and how it can make or break a relationship

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