Is your stress response a sign you're failing, or a sign you're human?

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about what stress is actually trying to tell us and how it impacts connection in relationships. We'll explore how everyday tension can become a source of strength if we know how to come back to safety, together.

You’ll hear:

• The psychology of rupture and repair—and why it matters more than “getting it right”

• Why we break down when one person tries to carry the emotional load for both

• How friendship, co-regulation, and nervous system safety are deeply linked

Plus, the one question that can transform your relationships:
“Do you have the capacity for this?”

If you’ve been stuck in reactive conversations, missed signals, or simmering resentment, the first step back to each other might be simpler than you think.

🎁 Download the Reconnection Kit—with 8 free communication scripts—to make your next hard conversation easier (and more productive).

Learn more about working with us here.

• nervous system regulation

• co-regulation in relationships

• stress and resilience psychology

• why community matters for mental health

• postpartum nervous system

• repair after relationship conflict

“Let’s just figure it all out right now…”
You’ve said it. Or your partner has. And before you know it, it’s 10:30pm, you’re in survival mode, and the ‘solution’ turns into another fight.

In this episode of Better Relationships After Baby, Chelsea and Mike get honest about why trying to fix your relationship during fight-or-flight doesn’t work and what to do instead.

You’ll learn:

• What happens in your brain and body during conflict

• Why “just talking it out” often backfires

• The neuroscience behind repair and regulation

• How to pause a fight without ignoring it

• Tools you can use to come back together in a healthier, more connected way

This is the next step after last week’s viral episode on feeling touched out. Together, they unpack what stress really does to our relationships and how to build safety, repair, and teamwork in the hard moments.

“You can’t fix a relationship in fight-or-flight. But you can come back stronger.”

• 🎧 Missed last week’s episode? Listen to: ⁠Touched Out: What Your Nervous System Is Trying to Tell You⁠

• 🔄 Reconnection Kit for Couples: ⁠Download Here⁠

• 💬 Work with Chelsea & Mike: ⁠Coaching Options⁠

References:

• Gottman Institute: Physiological Self-Soothing During Conflict

• NIH Study: Stress and Marital Communication

Keywords:

• fight or flight in relationships

• relationship repair after conflict

• nervous system and conflict resolution

• postpartum relationship struggles

• co-regulation for couples

• how to stop fighting with your partner

• stress and communication in marriage

• parenting and relationship stress

• emotional disconnection in relationships

• nervous system dysregulation and intimacy

Ever felt like you want a connection, but the thought of one more person touching you makes your skin crawl?

You’re not cold. You’re not broken. You might just be touched out.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike dig into what’s really happening when physical affection feels like too much, especially in the postpartum season. Using Polyvagal Theory as a framework, they explore how your nervous system responds to chronic stress, the mental load, and overstimulation.

They talk about:

• Why being touched out is not just a mom thing (though it hits moms hard)

• The science behind why your body says “no” even when your heart says “yes”

• How to recognize when your nervous system is in shutdown or high alert

• The power of co-regulation (and why it’s more effective than just pushing through)

• Tools that help you reconnect even if you only have five minutes

This isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding yourself, offering compassion, and having new language to break old cycles.

Want to dive deeper into the science?
👉 Link to Dr. Sarah’s podcast with Dr. Stephen Porges's team

Ready for simple ways to rebuild connection at home?
👉 Link to the Reconnection Kit for Couples

Curious about the card deck we mentioned?
👉 Link to Love Lingual Cards

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt close, but also miles apart, and wants a better way back to each other.

You’re in the same room, but it feels like miles apart.
You love your partner, but you feel more like co-managers than a couple.
Sound familiar?

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about the signs of emotional disconnection that show up after having a baby, often quietly and gradually. From scorekeeping and silence to intimacy struggles and the nervous system overload no one warns you about, they unpack what drifting apart really looks like and why it’s not a sign you’re broken.

If you’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, wondering how you got here—or how to get back—this episode is for you.

You’ll hear:

• How emotional disconnect shows up in everyday life

• Why resentment and avoidance don’t mean you’ve “fallen out of love”

• Tools to start reconnecting without pressure or blame

• A powerful reframe: “The story I’m telling myself is…”

📥 Grab the free Conversation Starters for Tired Parents:
https://postpartumtogether.com/communication-scripts

💬 Want our help rebuilding together? Join our 6-week couples coaching program: https://postpartumtogether.com/welcome

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to stay disconnected.

Tell us what you thought of the episode: chelsea@postpartumtogether.com

When the world feels like it’s burning politically, socially, & emotionally, what do we do as parents?

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get honest about what it means to raise kids in today’s tense climate and why your home might just be the most powerful place of resistance.

From stress-induced doomscrolling to boundary-setting in your own house, they unpack how overwhelmed couples can protect their peace, raise emotionally intelligent kids, and reclaim joy as an act of radical parenting.

This conversation explores:

• The hidden toll of always being “informed”

• How to parent with purpose when you're burned out

• Why joy and connection are survival tools for families

• What it means to use your privilege without burnout

• Real talk on relationship tension, social media pressure, and choosing fun on purpose

  
  

Whether you’re at a protest or simply trying to keep your home a refuge, this episode is your reminder: You are doing something powerful just by raising kind kids in a heavy world.

💬 Let us know what resonated most. And if you're looking for tools to lighten the load, grab our Mental Load List Template.

If you're wanting to create a home environment of refuge, but your tension with your partner is getting in the way, let's talk about how our guided couples' support can help you make it a reality.

<⁠https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436⁠>>

<https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436>>

For the first 4 years of our parenting journey, we didn’t know what the mental load was, let alone how deeply it was impacting our connection, our communication, and our resentment.

In this honest conversation, we share what our relationship looked like before we had the words, how the invisible labor kept building tension, and what shifted when we finally named it.

Whether you're new to the idea of the mental load or you're trying to help your partner understand it, this episode gives you language, validation, and a behind-the-scenes look at how one small vocabulary change can create big relational shifts.

🔗 Mentioned in this episode:

• Our Reconnection Kit for Couples

  Reconnect in Just 10 Minutes a Day

• Pre-Baby Relationship Bluepring Coaching

  Relationship Coaching for Expecting Parents: Prepare to Stay Connected After Baby

  
  

  Let’s talk about the invisible work, the unspoken pressure, and how to stop acting like roommates.

  
  

  <⁠https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436⁠>>

From postpartum rage to career stress to spiritual deconstruction, we’ve walked through some serious identity earthquakes and nearly walked away from our marriage.

We know what it’s like to sit in silence at the end of a long day, feeling more like roommates than partners. To wonder if things will ever feel good again. To carry the mental load, the emotional labor, and the resentment that builds when no one talks about what’s really going on after the baby.

This conversation kicks off a new chapter in our marriage, in our business, and on this podcast. We’re sharing the honest truth about the hard seasons, the awkward conversations, the near misses... and the daily work it took to move from disconnection to reconnection.

Whether you’re in the newborn fog, navigating toddler chaos, or just feeling like the spark is gone, this episode is your reminder that you’re not alone, and it is possible to find your way back.

💡 Inside this episode:

• What nearly ended our marriage — and what helped us stay

• How spiritual and identity shifts reshaped our relationship

• Why we’re no longer afraid of the messy middle

• The power of rebuilding teamwork and intimacy — even years later

✨ NEW: Get our free Reconnection Kit for Couples — practical tools to help you rebuild emotional intimacy and get on the same page again (without needing hours of free time or a perfect mood).
👉 www.postpartumtogether.com/spark-cards

🎉 Meet Mike: This episode also marks the official welcome of Mike as a business partner at Postpartum Together and co-leader of our mission to help couples create better relationships after baby. You’ll hear more from both of us on this show and in our coaching work as we serve couples who are ready to stop surviving and start growing again.

🔔 Follow for more: Subscribe to the Better Relationships After Baby podcast and follow us @PostpartumTogether for weekly tools, convos, and connection to support your real-life relationship.

📩Get on our email list for weekly tips: https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/74eecf429d