How should couples split newborn nights? (And does “sharing the nights” actually mean the same thing to both of you?)

In this episode, Chelsea walks expecting couples through several ways to divide overnight newborn care, from split-night shifts and alternating wake-ups to feeder/support-partner roles and evening-and-morning coverage.

More importantly, this isn’t about finding the perfect newborn sleep schedule.

It’s about making sure both partners understand what they are agreeing to, protecting each person’s basic need for rest, and knowing how to adjust when your original plan stops working.

Chelsea covers:

• Different ways couples can split newborn night shifts
• Whether both parents need to wake up for every feeding
• How breastfeeding changes nighttime responsibilities
• What the non-feeding partner can fully own
• How returning to work affects the conversation
• Why paid work and postpartum recovery both deserve consideration
• Warning signs that your current system isn’t working
• How to avoid sleep scorekeeping and resentment
• Questions to discuss before your baby arrives
• How to safely say, “I’m not functioning well anymore”
• Why the ability to revise the plan matters more than creating the perfect plan

One important reminder from this episode:

Teamwork does not always mean doing the same task at the same moment.

The goal is to build a system where one person’s sleep, recovery, or needs do not automatically become less important than the other’s.

Use these questions after listening:

1. What does each of us imagine nighttime care will look like?
2. How much uninterrupted sleep does each of us need to function?
3. How will feeding affect the division of nighttime care?
4. What can the non-feeding partner fully own?
5. How will we handle nights before a workday?
6. How will either of us say, “I am no longer functioning safely”?
7. When will we review and revise our plan?

Prep for Us is Chelsea’s six-week program for expecting couples who want to prepare for more than birth and baby gear.

Together, you’ll clarify expectations, understand your stress responses, divide responsibility more intentionally, communicate needs earlier, and create systems that can flex when real life looks different from the plan.

Prep for Us: How to Prepare Your Relationship for a Baby | Postpartum Together

Learn more from Chelsea at Postpartum Together.

About Relationship Coaching with Chels + Mike | Postpartum Together

Instagram: @postpartumtogether

Questions to discuss with your partner

Prepare for parenthood as a team

Everyone is excited to meet the baby, but that does not mean your first days postpartum need to become a public baby reveal.

In this episode, Chelsea talks about how expecting couples can decide when to welcome visitors, distinguish genuine support from added work, and communicate postpartum boundaries without blaming one another or turning one partner into the family “bad guy.”

You’ll learn why even loving visitors can feel unexpectedly overwhelming after birth, how to think beyond rigid rules about when family should visit, and what you and your partner should discuss before making promises about your postpartum season.

Chelsea also shares a simple formula for communicating boundaries clearly and kindly:

Warmth + decision + next step

For example:

“We know you’re excited, and we’re excited for you to meet the baby. We’re not committing to visits during the first week. We’ll reach out once we know how recovery is going.”

Later in the episode, Chelsea reflects on approaching ten years of motherhood and shares some of the things that surprised her most about birth, postpartum recovery, hormones, asking for help, feeling touched out, and experiencing resentment toward her partner.

• Why postpartum visits can become more stressful than expected

• The difference between a visitor and a genuine helper

• Why good intentions do not automatically make a visit supportive

• How to decide when family should meet the baby

• Hospital visitors versus visitors at home

• Protecting physical recovery, feeding, rest, and bonding

• Why you should avoid promising access before you know what recovery will require

• How partners can communicate boundaries to their own families

• Why couples should use “we decided” language

• What to say when relatives are disappointed or push back

• How unclear family boundaries can create resentment between partners

• What Chelsea wishes she had known before becoming a mother

• The connection between receiving help, nervous-system regulation, and relationship health

Instead of beginning with, “Who is allowed to visit?” ask:

What kind of support will help our new family feel safe, cared for, and able to recover?

That question can help you make decisions based on your actual needs rather than guilt, family expectations, or pressure to keep everyone happy.

The Postpartum Visitor Plan

Download the guide with reflection questions, visitor-planning prompts, and communication scripts for setting expectations with family.

https://www.postpartumtogether.com/store/p/boundaries

Peri bottle for postpartum recovery

Chelsea mentioned how helpful a peri bottle can be during the first days of physical recovery after birth.

https://amzn.to/4wt1upC

Prep for Us

Prep for Us is Chelsea’s six-week relationship-preparation program for expecting couples. It helps partners strengthen communication, understand their stress responses, share the invisible work, clarify expectations, and enter parenthood as a stronger team.

Prep for Us: How to Prepare Your Relationship for a Baby | Postpartum Together

Email: chelsea@postpartumtogether.com

Instagram: @postpartumtogether

Website: www.postpartumtogether.com

Your relatives are allowed to feel disappointed by your boundaries.

Your responsibility is not to create a postpartum experience where no one ever feels left out. Your responsibility is to protect recovery, build trust between the two of you, and create enough room to meet your baby without immediately becoming responsible for everyone else’s expectations.

Do you really need a doula (and what do they actually do?)

In this episode, Chelsea breaks down the practical, emotional, and relational role of a birth doula. You’ll learn how doulas support labor, what they do not do, how much they commonly cost, when payment is usually due, and when hiring one may be especially helpful.

Chelsea also explains the deeper reason doulas can matter: birth was never historically something couples were expected to navigate entirely alone. A doula can bring experienced, nonmedical support into the room while helping your partner feel more confident and less responsible for carrying everything.

Inside this episode:

• What a birth doula does
• The difference between a doula, midwife, OB, and nurse
• Common doula costs and payment timelines
• When insurance, Medicaid, or HSA/FSA funds may apply
• Situations where a doula may be especially useful
• How doulas support both the birthing person and partner
• Why a doula does not replace your partner
• Questions to ask when interviewing a doula
• Where to search for doulas in your area
• How birth support can protect connection during a stressful experience

A doula cannot guarantee a certain kind of birth, but they can help you feel more informed, supported, and grounded as plans unfold.

This episode also explores how preparing for birth is connected to preparing your relationship. Inside Prep for Us, expecting couples learn how to communicate under stress, clarify support needs, share responsibility, and enter parenthood as a stronger team.

Check out the related blog post here (including an easy download of questions to ask when choosing a doula).

www.postpartumtogether.com/blog/do-you-really-need-a-doula

What classes should first-time parents actually take before the baby arrives?

In this episode, Chelsea breaks down the most common options, including hospital childbirth classes, Lamaze, HypnoBirthing, the Bradley Method, infant CPR, breastfeeding education, lactation support, and newborn-care classes.

You’ll hear how to decide which classes are worth your time, what hospital-based classes may leave out, and why finding a lactation professional before birth can make those early feeding days much easier.

Chelsea also names the class most couples never think to take: preparation for the relationship transition.

Because couples can spend hours learning how to swaddle a baby and almost no time learning how to handle the 3 a.m. disagreement about whose turn it is.

This episode will help expecting parents prepare not only for birth and newborn care, but also for communication, mental load, stress, roles, and becoming parents as a team.

Topics include:

• Best classes for first-time parents
• Hospital birth classes vs. independent birth education
• Lamaze, HypnoBirthing, and the Bradley Method
• Infant CPR and newborn-care classes
• Prenatal breastfeeding and lactation support
• Preparing your relationship before baby
• Dividing responsibilities after birth
• Communication and mental load for new parents

Prep for Us helps expecting couples prepare for the relationship transition into parenthood so they can communicate clearly, share the load, and stay connected after the baby arrives.

Prep for Us: How to Prepare Your Relationship for a Baby | Postpartum Together

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, Who even am I anymore? A lot of women have and they tell me about it, which is why I hosted this free workshop and now I'm letting you in on it too.

It's not because you don’t love being a mom, but because somewhere between the diapers, the planning, the emotional labor, and taking care of everyone else… pieces of you started to fade into the background.

In this episode, walk with me through a recorded workshop on how to not lose yourself in motherhood. This isn’t about rejecting the role of mom. It’s about understanding that motherhood is only one part of who you are and your family benefits when the rest of you is alive and well too.

You'll walk through the emotional and cultural pressures many women feel after becoming mothers, including the invisible expectations to sacrifice everything, the mental and emotional exhaustion many moms carry, and why reconnecting with yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Inside this episode, you’ll explore:

• Why so many moms feel like their identity disappears after having kids

• The societal pressures that quietly push women into martyr-mode

• The difference between loving motherhood and losing yourself in it

• How to reconnect with parts of yourself that existed before baby

• Questions to help you rediscover what makes you feel alive again

Chelsea also shares research from the Motherly State of Motherhood Report, which reveals that:

• Time for themselves is the most depleted area of wellbeing for moms

• 70% of mothers report feeling lonelier than they expected

• Nearly half of mothers describe themselves as managing but stressed

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like your own voice has gotten quieter in this season of life you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not stuck there.

If this episode felt a little too relatable, the next step might be Confident Mom Reset.

Confident Mom Reset is a small-group, six-week experience for moms who want to reconnect with themselves and rebuild confidence in their voice, boundaries, and priorities.

Together you’ll work through things like:

• Reconnecting with what you actually want

• Understanding your energy and what drains it

• Setting boundaries without guilt

• Learning to hear your inner voice again

• Creating a version of motherhood that doesn’t erase you

This is not another course you watch alone at midnight. It’s a guided experience with real conversations and real shifts happening alongside other moms who get it.

The next group begins March 18th, and you can grab the early bird rate ($50 off) if you enroll before the 15th.

You can learn more or reserve your spot here:
postpartumtogether.com/confident-mom-reset

If you'd like the guided worksheet that accompanies this workshop, send Chelsea a quick email and she’ll send it over.

Email: chelsea@postpartumtogether.com

This one’s a little different.

No outline. No formal teaching. Just a real coffee-chat between us about something that keeps coming up in our work with couples: Emotional safety.

Find our current offerings including small groups, relationship prep for expecting couples + relationship support for current parents: postpartumtogether.com/current-offerings

We talk about:
– Why internal safety matters before communication skills– What happens when dads don’t feel emotionally safe either– The myth that you have to be everything for your family– Why modern couples are drowning without a “village”– How trust actually gets built (and rebuilt) after baby

If you’ve felt disconnected, overwhelmed, or unsure how to support each other in this season, this conversation will land.

Because strong families don’t happen by accident. They’re built by people willing to go first emotionally.Find our current offerings including small groups, relationship prep for expecting couples + relationship support for current parents:⁠ postpartumtogether.com/current-offerings⁠

• postpartum relationship

• marriage after baby

• emotional safety in marriage

• mental load in parenting

• new dad emotional support

• fatherhood emotional presence

• nervous system in relationships

• trust after baby

• couples communication after baby

• village support for parents

Find our current offerings including small groups, relationship prep for expecting couples + relationship support for current parents:⁠ postpartumtogether.com/current-offerings⁠

Every year after Christmas, the same conversation resurfaces: moms waking up to empty stockings and the internet rushing in with advice to leave, rage, or declare the relationship doomed.

But what if the stocking isn’t the real issue?

In this episode, we slow the moment down and talk honestly about why this seemingly small disappointment hits so hard for so many moms and what it actually reveals about mental load, visibility, inherited patterns, and modern partnership.

We read real posts from moms, talk through the full spectrum of reactions (from “it was an honest miss” to “this has been happening for years”), and explore why the empty stocking often becomes a quiet test of recognition, effort, and shared responsibility.

This isn’t a hate-on-men episode.
And it’s not a “just get over it” one either.

It’s a grounded conversation about:

• Why this moment feels bigger than gifts

• How inherited family patterns show up at holidays

• When disappointment is information—not a verdict

• Why “just tell him what you want” often doesn’t work

• How couples can respond without blowing things up or sweeping it under the rug

We also share what actually helped us have one of our most connected Christmases yet and what we see help couples repair moments like this instead of letting resentment calcify.

If this episode stirred something up and you want help having the conversation underneath the disappointment, we created a free guide called The Stocking Was the Symptom—a calm, honest conversation guide for couples who don’t want this moment to define their marriage.
👉 postpartumtogether.com/stocking-problem-convo-guide

In this episode you'll also hear:

A men’s group Mike is hosting on January 12th focused on emotional regulation, visibility, and showing up as a teammate at home

👉 Link to men’s group registration

Threads referenced:

@eliseoras

@crfreund

@sidneyraz

@sheisapaigeturner

@omgskr

This conversation is for parents who feel disappointed but not done—who believe growth is possible and want a better way forward.

Baby’s first Christmas can come with a lot more weight than most people talk about.
The pressure to make memories. The logistics. The overstimulation. The quiet grief when it doesn’t look the way you imagined it would.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike talk honestly about what babies are actually learning during the holidays and why it has far less to do with gifts, photos, or traditions, and far more to do with tone, pace, and safety.

We unpack how parental calm shapes a baby’s nervous system, why “making it special” often turns into performance, and how couples can protect their energy (and each other) during high-pressure seasons.

This isn’t an episode about lowering your standards or forcing gratitude. It’s a permission slip to let this Christmas be real, slower, and more human, and to trust that presence matters more than perfection.

If this season is highlighting exhaustion, resentment, or the need for clearer communication between you and your partner, this is exactly the kind of work we support couples with.
You can learn more or connect with us at postpartumtogether.com.