When I released the first SAVE Act episode with attorney Pat Schraff, I thought it was a one and done. We talked about names — what women have historically had taken from them, and what happens when your birth certificate no longer matches the name you have carried for forty years. The response told me we were not finished.

So this week I brought in Tera Coleman, counsel at Baker Hostetler, who practices in both state and federal courts and who has been turning this bill over the same way I have, trying to make it make sense.

I think it is fair to say that almost everybody agrees that fair elections are critical for our democracy. Only US citizens should vote (as it states in our constitution).

So why do we need the SAVE Act, when the numbers of non-citizens registering to vote are so very small but the risks associated with the the Save Act disenfranchising actual US citizens from voting is big.

We start the conversation with how elections actually work in this country. Who runs them. Where the states' authority ends and the federal government's begins. Tera walks through what is in the bill, and then through the part almost nobody is talking about — what it would ask of the people who work our elections.

Kansas comes up. So does the Department of Homeland Security. And the federal government having our personal voting data.

This is not a partisan issue-- the SAVE Act will effect all of us if it passes. Take a listen.

Listen to Part 1 with attorney Pat Schraff on what the SAVE Act would mean for married and divorced women.

Show Notes:

https://drloristevic.com/save-act-part-2-who-controls-your-vote/

It started with an offhand comment from my daughter: grown-ups need recess. We laughed — and then I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Because somewhere between the playground and now, the bell just quietly stopped ringing, and nobody told us we'd had our last one.

In this episode, I'm making the case that play, laughter, and curiosity are not the dessert of a well-run life — they're part of how human beings have always survived hard seasons.

I'll share why recess was never the same thing as gym class (and what an undiagnosed neurological condition taught me about the difference), what a real laugh actually does inside your body, why joy keeps showing up in hospital rooms and funeral luncheons, and three ways to bring recess back into an ordinary adult week.

No swing set required.

Show Notes: https://drloristevic.com/power-of-play-for-adults/

What if the person who needs care is the parent who abused you, the mother you have not spoken to in years or the spouse you were preparing to leave before the diagnosis?

We talk about caregiving as an act of love. But that leaves little room for the person who does not feel safe, the person who feels trapped or the devoted caregiver whose own health is beginning to fail.

In this episode, I talk about the family history an illness cannot erase, why guilt cannot become the care plan and what resentment may be trying to tell you.

We will also look at the different ways care can be provided—because making sure someone receives care does not mean you must provide every part of it yourself.

Before we judge the daughter who steps back or the spouse who says, “I cannot do this anymore,” we need to ask what part of the story we do not know.

Show Notes: https://drloristevic.com/what-if-i-dont-want-to-be-the-caregiver/

Why do you say yes when part of you already knows you mean no?

People pleasing can look like kindness, generosity, and being easy to get along with. But underneath it, there is often something else happening: the attempt to prevent disappointment, avoid tension, and keep the people around us comfortable.

In this episode, Dr. Lori explores why people pleasing becomes so automatic, how it can begin as a learned way to preserve connection, and why the relief of avoiding conflict rarely lasts.

The conflict does not disappear. It often returns later as resentment, exhaustion, emotional distance, and the feeling that other people know the agreeable version of you better than they know the real one.

This conversation looks at the difference between genuine generosity and self-abandonment, why boundaries can feel so uncomfortable, and how to begin telling the truth before resentment tells it for you.

Show Notes: https://drloristevic.com/people-pleasing-why-we-say-yes-when-we-mean-no/

Can we trust each other again? In this episode of Becoming Real, Dr. Lori talks with Dr. Debbie Plummer, national thought leader on social trust, DEI, and belonging.

Together, they explore what it means to stay curious in a divided world, how we rebuild trust across our differences, and why belonging begins with the courage to listen differently.

Show Notes:

https://drloristevic.com/can-we-trust-each-other-again-dei-belonging-and-staying-curious-in-a-divided-world/

The SAVE Act is being framed as a bill about election integrity and proof of citizenship. But for many women, especially married, divorced, remarried, or older women, “just bring proof” is not always simple.

In this episode, Dr. Lori talks with attorney Patricia J. Schraff about how women’s names, birth certificates, marriage records, and legal identity can collide with voting access.

They discuss why a marriage certificate does not prove citizenship, why getting a birth certificate can take months, and why paperwork delays can become a real barrier to voting.

This conversation goes beyond the SAVE Act into the deeper history of women’s names, coverture, property rights, Lucy Stone, suffrage, and the long fight for women to be recognized as legal individuals.

This episode is not about telling women whether to keep, change, or hyphenate their names. It is about making sure the choice is truly a choice.

Shownotes: https://drloristevic.com/slug-save-act-womens-names-voting-rights/

Most of us picked up whatever we know about money from watching our parents, winging it in our 20s, and hoping for the best. We were taught just enough to get by — but not nearly enough to get ahead.

The real conversation — investing, building wealth, understanding what your money can actually do for you — that one largely got skipped.

And for women especially, it got replaced with a story that money is complicated, that men handle it better, and that asking too many questions isn't particularly polite. The data says otherwise.

Women are better investors, better savers, and earn stronger returns — and yet most of us are still sitting on the sidelines of our own financial lives.

I sat down with wealth manager Christine Wiskochil of Baird to bust the myths, face the mistakes, and finally have the conversation most of us have been avoiding — whether you're 25 and just starting out or 55 and ready to take control.

Adulting is expensive, and we have questions. She has answers.

Show notes: https://drloristevic.com/women-are-better-investors-money-psychology-financial-conversations/

Someone tells you that you look beautiful today. What do you do?

If you're like most women, you immediately tell them about the sale rack, the dry shampoo, and the bad lighting.

Studies show that only 22% of compliments between women are actually accepted — and women accept compliments from men nearly twice as often.

And research finds that women who do accept compliments are actually rated more negatively by others for doing so. So we're not imagining the pressure to shrink — it's real, it's cultural, and it runs deep.

In this episode, I'm getting into why deflecting a compliment is never really about the compliment. It's about what we believe we deserve, what we've been taught about taking up space, and why the woman who can't receive a kind word is often the same woman who struggles to ask for a raise, claim her seat at the table, or let herself be truly seen.

Humility is not the same thing as shrinking. And thank you is not the same thing as arrogance. It's time we learned the difference.

SHOWNOTES: https://drloristevic.com/why-women-cant-accept-a-compliment/