Have you ever wondered how to capture the effortless elegance of the old money aesthetic in your photographs? In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, Auntie Kiki explores the fascinating intersection of photography, lifestyle, and modern manners. From the stiff aristocratic oil portrait style photos of the past to the iconic, sun-drenched leisure captured by legendary photographer Slim Aarons, we decode the unwritten rules of taking, sharing, and displaying pictures. You will learn how to slimify your vacation snapshots without needing a private villa, the golden rules of smartphone photo etiquette to save your friendships, and how to decorate your home with personal memories without making it look cluttered or tacky. Put down the ring light, pour yourself a martini, and discover how to romanticize your everyday life while ensuring your photos remain perfectly timeless.

COMPLETE SHOW NOTES

EPISODE OVERVIEW Today we are turning our lens toward the ultimate guide to photography, etiquette, and the old money aesthetic. Whether you want to channel 1970s Palm Springs glamour or just want to know how to politely ask a friend not to post an unflattering photo of you, Auntie Kiki covers it all. We dive deep into the history of high-society photography and study the master of leisure, Slim Aarons, to learn how to capture attractive people doing attractive things in attractive places.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

A Short History of Old Money Photography We trace how wealthy families documented their legacies, transitioning from formal oil paintings and stiff Victorian daguerreotypes to Kodak society snapshots. Discover how the digital era has forced high society to adopt a discreet, understated online presence.

Who Was Slim Aarons? A deep dive into the master of leisure photography. Learn how Slim Aarons defined the old money aesthetic by capturing candidly curated moments of high society in places like Palm Beach, Lake Como, and Gstaad.

Iconic Photo Breakdown An analysis of classic Slim Aarons shots like Poolside Gossip, Holiday at the Villa, and Apres-Ski. Auntie Kiki explains why looking away from the camera, avoiding trendy fashion, and letting the setting do the heavy lifting are the ultimate visual flexes.

How to Slimify Your Vacation Photos Actionable tips for romanticizing your life and capturing timeless, chic photos without a massive budget. Learn why you should ditch the ring light, embrace natural lighting, use elegant props like books or a bar cart, and wear classic linens and timeless silhouettes.

Modern Photo Etiquette How to navigate the awkwardness of the digital age. Auntie Kiki shares the rules on asking for permission before snapping a pic, the massive faux pas of posting unflattering photos of your friends, and how to gracefully handle the situation when someone tags you in a terrible shot.

Digital Good Manners The dos and don'ts of commenting on social media. Learn why you should never critique outfits or leave passive-aggressive comments, and why a curated highlight of three photos is always better than a twenty-seven photo hostage situation.

Displaying Photos in Your Home The old money approach to interior design and family albums. Learn why discretion is key, which frames to choose (think tarnished silver, dark wood, or leather), and why sentiment belongs in intimate spaces like hallways and studies rather than formal public rooms.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Posing is for people who do not belong. The trick to looking effortlessly wealthy is being caught mid-conversation or mid-recline without a single care in the world.

Dress for timelessness. Avoid obvious logos, bright performance gear, and trendy fast fashion to ensure your photos age gracefully and never scream a specific year.

Never sacrifice living in the present moment just to capture a photograph. Take your snapshot to commemorate the moment, then put your phone away.

When displaying photos at home, less is more. Avoid overly matched gallery walls and massive flashy frames, opting instead for a few meaningful heritage or candid shots placed thoughtfully in private living areas.

In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, Auntie Kiki dives deep into the fascinating sociology of boating and yachting. From the quiet elegance of old money sloops and classic Rivas to the loud, party-centric energy of new money mega yachts and pontoons, boats are the ultimate floating status symbol. We cover the unwritten rules of yacht etiquette—what to wear, how to behave on board, and the social climber faux pas you absolutely must avoid. Plus, learn the history of iconic vessels, the psychology behind boat names, and practical tips for renting yachts or capturing timeless nautical style and home decor on a budget.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00] The Slim Aarons Standard: A look at the iconic 1983 photograph of Tullio Abbate and what it teaches us about effortless, unselfconscious luxury.
• [04:15] Old Money vs. New Money Boats: The cultural differences between understated family sloops, classic wooden Rivas, and loud, performative party boats.
• [09:30] Crucial Boating Etiquette: How to be the perfect boat guest. Rules on boarding, removing shoes, avoiding vanity, respecting the captain, and why you should never critique a docking maneuver.
• [17:45] The Social Climber on Board: Cautionary tales of bad behavior at sea, the danger of over-accessorizing, and tone-deaf hostess gifts.
• [21:10] Iconic Historical Yachts: From the Mayflower and the Titanic to Aristotle Onassis's Christina O and JFK's Honey Fitz.
• [28:00] The Psychology of Boat Names: What your boat's name says about your lineage, aspirations, or desire for attention.
• [32:30] The Yacht Rental Lifestyle: The pros and cons of chartering a yacht, why fraction ownership is a trap, and how to enjoy a boat day without the financial burden.
• [36:00] Accessible Nautical Style: How to incorporate maritime elegance into your wardrobe and home decor without looking like a coastal cliché.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Sponsor: Midnight Blue by Kiki Astor – A thrilling tale of old money perfume dynasties and ancient curses. Available on Amazon (Kindle, paperback, and audiobook).
• Photography: Slim Aarons (Tullio Abbate 1983; Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc 1969).
• Book: Low Season in Saint-Tropez by Kiki Astor.

Connect with Auntie Kiki:

• Have a mortifying boating story or an etiquette question? Email: madamexofmontecito@gmail.com
• If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and share it with your friends!

In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners, host Auntie Kiki (Kiki Astor) takes listeners on a fascinating deep dive into the history, sociology, and etiquette of the monogram. Far from just a preppy aesthetic, monograms are one of the world's oldest status symbols, evolving from ancient Mesopotamian cylinder seals and medieval maker's marks to Victorian household necessities and modern luxury logos. Auntie Kiki answers awkward listener questions about monogramming blended names, navigating overbearing mothers-in-law, and styling thrifted finds. She also provides practical rules for gifting, sizing, and placing monograms, as well as tasteful alternatives for those who prefer a modern or subtle approach to personalizing their items.

Show Notes

Podcast: Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners

Host: Kiki Astor ("Auntie Kiki")

Episode Highlights:

• [Sponsor Message] A preview of Kiki Astor's newest book, Midnight Blue, a thrilling tale of a scandalous perfume dynasty, an ancient curse, and a potent ingredient called blue oud. Available now on Amazon (Kindle, paperback, and audiobook).
• Listener Q&A: Awkward Monogram Situations
• • The 5-Initial Dilemma: How to edit down a long name (Hint: Less is more. Pick three).
  • Towel Placement Wars: Settling the debate between top-center and lower-right placements.
  • Underwear & Veils: The etiquette of monogramming intimates, and how to handle a mother-in-law who secretly monograms your wedding veil.
  • Thrifted Jackets & Exes: Creative ways to cover up old initials using patches or motifs.
  • Blended Families & Same-Sex Couples: How to gracefully combine names, alternate initials, or create a unified "house monogram."
• The History & Sociology of the Monogram
• • 3500 BCE: Mesopotamian cylinder seals used to authenticate transactions.
  • Medieval Era: Maker's marks used by stonemasons and metalworkers for quality control and payment.
  • 15th Century: Albrecht Dürer uses his initials to protect his artistic brand.
  • 19th Century: The rise of domestic monogramming during the Industrial Revolution to prevent theft at the laundry.
  • 1896: Louis Vuitton creates the LV repeating pattern to prevent counterfeiting, inadvertently creating the modern public status logo.
• A Diagnostic Toolkit for Reading Monograms
• • How to read the status and intent of a monogram based on its scale (tiny vs. oversized), placement (inside lining vs. exterior), and method (vinyl sticker vs. hand-engraved silver).
• The Golden Rules of Monogram Etiquette
• • How to correctly gift a monogrammed item (always double-check preferred names!).
  • Matching the permanence of the monogram to the object (e.g., vinyl for water bottles, satin stitch for heirloom linens).
  • Color choices: Why tone-on-tone is the ultimate subtle flex for adults, while high-contrast is best for children and sports gear.
• Tasteful Alternatives to Initials
• • Using sigils, motifs (like a tiny fox or compass), signature color piping, or removable leather tags to establish an identity without letters.

Announcements & Events:

• Book Signing: Join Kiki on July 25, 2026, in Summerland, California, for the Midnight Blue book signing.
• Perfume Sweepstakes: Leave a review of Midnight Blue on Amazon or Goodreads and submit proof to be entered to win a large bottle and samples of Ormonde Jayne's "Midnight Oud" perfume. Drawing takes place on July 25, 2026.
• Join the Guest List: Sign up on Kiki's website for exclusive weekly emails, bonus content, and event invitations.

(If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review!)

In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners, host Kiki Astor unravels the enduring allure of the iconic Hermès silk scarf. Discover how a simple square of silk evolved from a 19th-century Parisian harness workshop into the ultimate global symbol of elegance, quiet luxury, and old money style.

Auntie Kiki takes you on a journey through the meticulous craftsmanship of the Hermès Carré—from the exclusive silk twill and painstaking screen-printing process to the forensic signature of the hand-rolled hem. We explore the cultural significance of the famous orange box, share expert tips on how to authenticate vintage Hermès scarves, and discuss the nuances of luxury gifting and returning etiquette. Whether you want to master effortless French-girl styling with a classic Carré 90, invest in a 140cm cashmere-silk shawl, or find stunning budget-friendly alternatives for the "nouveau pauvre," this episode is your definitive guide to elevating your wardrobe with a single square of silk.

Episode Highlights & Key Takeaways:

• The Equestrian Origins of Hermès: How Thierry Hermès transitioned from crafting elite saddlery in 1837 to launching the first silk scarf (Jeu des Omnibus et des Dames Blanches) in 1937.
• The Anatomy of a Masterpiece: Understanding the artisanal life cycle of the scarf, including the signature silk twill weave, complex color screening, and the legendary hand-rolled hem.
• The Power of the Orange Box: How wartime scarcity created one of the most recognizable packaging rituals in luxury history.
• Iconic Designs & Artists: A look at legendary motifs like Bride de Gala and the fascinating story of Kermit Oliver, the only American artist to design multiple Hermès scarves.
• Styling the Silk Scarf: Why Auntie Kiki prefers the versatile Carré 90 and 140cm shawls over the Twilly, and how to tie them without looking like you are trying too hard.
• Luxury Etiquette: The unwritten rules of shopping at luxury boutiques, how to properly gift (and wrap) an Hermès scarf, and the polite way to handle returns or regifting.
• Ethical Considerations & Alternatives: Navigating sustainability in silk production, cultural motifs, and where to find gorgeous non-Hermès silk scarves from Lake Como, Liberty of London, and independent artists.

Resources & Mentions:

• Books by Kiki Astor: Pick up Midnight Blue (a scandalous old money perfume dynasty thriller) and Service Entrance (a perfect Montecito beach read) available on Amazon, Kindle, Paperback, and Audiobook.
• Featured Scarf Designs: Bride de Gala, Jeu des Omnibus et des Dames Blanches, Jungle Love, Ciel Byzantin, and Zebra Pegasus.
• Connect with Kiki: Have an heirloom story or a scarf scandal to share? Email your Auntie Kiki at madamxofmontecito@gmail.com and make sure to join her exclusive mailing list for insider shopping tips!

Why does a battered, smelly, 100-year-old raincoat signal more wealth and social standing than a pristine, fresh-off-the-runway Hermes Birkin? In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, Auntie Kiki explores the maddening paradox of class signaling through the lens of the iconic Barbour jacket. We dive deep into the sociology of mud, exploring how the British elite fetishized utility, why looking like you don't care is the ultimate status symbol, and how a garment designed for 19th-century Scottish fishermen became the global uniform for stealth wealth. From the Great Male Renunciation to Princess Diana's Sloane Ranger aesthetic, learn why the highest form of status is convincing people that status never crossed your mind.

Key Takeaways & Topics Discussed:

- The Paradox of Status: Why the higher people rise socially, the less their clothes need to look overtly expensive.
- Historical Context: How the Industrial Revolution and the Great Male Renunciation shifted upper-class fashion from flashy court aesthetics (like Louis XIV) to discreet minimalism.
- Pierre Bourdieu & Cultural Capital: Understanding why the aristocracy views inherited identity and status security as superior to purchased luxury.
- The British Country Aesthetic: Why mud, horses, and hunting became symbols of elite leisure rather than grueling labor.
- Barbour Jacket History & Design:
-- Founded in 1894 by John Barbour in South Shields.
-- Why classic Barbours don't have hoods.
-- The secret utility of the brass ring-pull zipper and the cavernous poacher's pocket.
-- Decoding the authentic Scottish tartans hidden inside.
- The Princess Diana Effect: How the late Princess of Wales mastered the art of wearing the elite uniform while appearing wonderfully relatable.
- Quiet Luxury vs. Old Money: Why the Barbour jacket survives the fleeting quiet luxury trend through pure, historic authenticity.

Auntie Kiki's Awkward Etiquette Rules for the Barbour Jacket:

1. Age is Beauty: A Barbour looks best when it is battered, bruised, and well-worn. If you buy a new one, break it in immediately.
2. The Commuter Rule: It is perfectly acceptable to wear a Barbour over a business suit, provided the coat's hem entirely covers your suit jacket.
3. The Cardinal Sin of Cleaning: Never put a waxed Barbour in a washing machine or take it to a standard dry cleaner. Sponge it with cold water and have it professionally re-waxed.
4. Mudroom Etiquette: Barbour jackets left in country house mudrooms are often viewed as communal property. Borrow with grace, but don't be surprised if yours goes missing for the afternoon!
5. No Monograms: Keep it utilitarian. Over-personalizing defeats the jacket's rugged, unbothered aesthetic.

Resources & Mentions:

- Book Promo: Midnight Blue by Kiki Astor. Dive into a world of old money, scandalous perfume dynasties, and an ancient curse. Available now on Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, and Audiobook).
- Mentioned Book: Scarlet Fever by Kiki Astor.
- Merch: The Dogs and Horses Summer T-Shirt (Available via Amazon and Kiki's website).
- Mailing List Bonus: Subscribe to Kiki's newsletter this week for an exclusive guide on the different fits of the Barbour jacket!

Subscribe & Review:
If you enjoyed this deep dive into old money aesthetics, please subscribe to Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners and leave a glowing review (Auntie Kiki's ego demands it, darling!).

In this episode of the Awkward Etiquette- Old Money and New Manners podcast, host Kiki Astor takes a deep dive into the history, sociology, and psychology of jewelry. Moving beyond precious stones and price tags, Kiki explores jewelry as an ancient social technology used to signal belonging, continuity, and wealth. She breaks down the distinct jewelry "languages" of Old Money (which values biography, heirlooms, and continuity) and New Money (which values ornament, optimization, and brand visibility). Finally, she champions the "Nouveau Pauvre" philosophy—an aesthetic approach that prioritizes intentionality, personal joy, and wearing pieces that tell your unique story rather than chasing fleeting trends.

Show Notes

Podcast: Awkward Etiquette Old Money and New Manners
Host: Kiki Astor ("Auntie Kiki")
Episode Title: The Hidden Language of Jewelry: Old Money, New Money, and the Nouveau Pauvre

In This Episode:
Have you ever wondered what your jewelry says about you before you even speak? This week, Auntie Kiki explores the fascinating social codes embedded in the jewelry we wear. Whether it's a dented inherited charm bracelet or a sparkling stack of recognizable designer pieces, jewelry acts as a powerful communicator of status, affiliation, and personal history.

Key Topics Covered:

The History of Adornment: How jewelry evolved from prehistoric survival talismans and portable wealth to modern-day cultural capital.

Biography vs. Ornament: The philosophical divide between Old Money (valuing patina, repair, and family continuity) and New Money (valuing perfect stones, recognizable logos, and conspicuous display).

Jewelry Archetypes: Identifying the social logic behind different wearers, from the Heirloom Collector and the Equestrian to the Art World Woman and the Nouveau Pauvre.

Decoding the Maisons: What specific elite jewelry houses—like Cartier, Van Cleef & Arpels, Verdura, and JAR—signal to those who know how to "read" them.

Jewelry Etiquette FAQs: Kiki answers your most pressing questions:
- Is it acceptable to reset or remake an inherited family stone?
- Can you wear faux/costume jewelry or diamonds during the daytime?
- Is it tacky to "upgrade" an engagement ring?
- Are tiaras ever appropriate for modern events?

The Nouveau Pauvre Manifesto: Why you should prioritize intentionality, avoid the performative "wrist stack," and adopt the "never sell the jewelry" ethic to build a meaningful personal archive.

Featured Sponsor / Mention:

Book Recommendation: Midnight Blue by Kiki Astor – A captivating novel about perfume, power, inheritance, and an ancient curse. Available on Amazon (Kindle, paperback, and audiobook).

Question of the Week:

If your bank account vanished tomorrow, but your jewelry box survived, what would your collection say about your life?

https://www.kikiastor.com

madamexofmontecito@gmail.com