Dani Cooper is a Certified Enneagram Teacher, Coach, and your biggest cheerleader on the road to self-discovery.

She helps individuals, couples, and teams identify the patterns keeping them stuck — and grow beyond them into who they were always meant to be. She’s the author of The Enneagram for Christian Couples (2022), and her life’s work is simple: helping people know themselves, love themselves, and live more freely.

IG: @deepwatersenneagram

website: deepwatersenneagram.com

This week in The Reading Room, we continue our journey through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart by exploring "comparison."

Join our Tuesday night discussion : HERE

As we elevate other topics in ths text, it seems good to sit on this experience for a moment. Drawing from Brown’s research, we examine how comparison shapes our relationships, self-worth, emotional life, and even our sense of the future.

Join us Saturday, June 13th to discuss 369s! : HERE

This episode goes some places!

In this month's Second Saturday gathering, we explored the Enneagram's Affect Groups (sometimes called Harmony Groups), drawing on the work of David Daniels.

The conversation focused on the 2-5-8 triad, often called the Relationists or Rejection Group.

Together we explored questions such as:

• What does it mean to "expect rejection" in relationships?
• How do Twos, Fives, and Eights offer connection through gifts, service, knowledge, protection, and strength?
• Why do these types often maintain a small circle of true vulnerability?
• How do experiences of rejection, betrayal, unmet needs, and emotional exposure shape the way these types connect with others?
• What is the difference between transparency and vulnerability?
• How do our instincts (Self-Preservation, Social, and One-to-One) influence the way we seek connection?
• An idea to hold that may bring clarity to this discussion is this:
• The term "Rejection" refers to the idea that these types unconsciously assume that their ordinary needs may not be welcomed, so they learn to gain connection by offering something rather than simply showing up with their needs. In classic Enneagram language:
• Twos reject their own needs and become needed.
• Fives reject their needs and become self-sufficient.
• Eights reject vulnerability and become strong.

That is somewhat different from the way many people hear the term today. It does not necessarily mean "I expect everyone to reject me." Rather, it points to a developmental stance in which the person concludes:

"My needs won't automatically be met, so I must relate through what I can provide."

This Saturday we'll continue our exploration of relationship patterns through the lens of the 3-6-9 triad.

How do Threes, Sixes, and Nines create connection? How do they seek belonging, support, and security? What happens when attachment, success, harmony, and safety become central to our relationships?

These monthly gatherings typically include around 30 participants and are one of the most engaging ways to move beyond theory and into real conversation.

Saturday

• 8:30 AM Pacific
• 11:30 AM Eastern
• 4:30 PM GMT

Surprise!

We are doing more than just parent/child episodes now. Emma & Gregg have been dating for 5.5 years, and on this episode we discuss what they've learned about each other and what their specific relationship dynamic looks like. We talk about the difference between a 3's anxiety and a 6's anxiety, and we get to really dig deep about what makes each of them feel vulnerable - and why the answers are so different from each other.

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Learn more about what I'm up to, sign up for a coaching call, and find the current class schedule on my website

In this episode of Inside Story, Kristen sits down with Joe, a Type Nine whose journey through recovery, Enneagram work, marriage, parenting, and leadership offers a thoughtful look at what growth can look like for Nines.

Together they explore the relationship between the Enneagram and 12-step recovery, the challenge of recognizing and expressing anger, passive-aggression, conflict, self-forgetting, and the fear of disrupting peace. Joe reflects on how routines, courage, accountability, and trusted communities have helped him find his voice and take meaningful action.

The conversation also touches on humility, expertise, relationships, spirituality, and why growth often requires doing the thing we least want to do. For Nines—and anyone who struggles to trust themselves, speak up, or act before they feel ready—this is a rich conversation about what it means to remember that you matter.

Dan Siegel's Patterns of Developmental Pathways (PDP) framework is one of the first serious attempts to bridge Enneagram ideas with neuroscience, developmental psychology, and clinical practice.

In this episode, I break down the core concepts behind PDP: temperament vs. adaptive strategies, neuroplasticity, the role of "wholeness" in personality development, and the three pillars of the framework -- Vectors, Attendency, and Emotional Regulation Strategies.

We'll also explore how PDP maps onto traditional Enneagram types, where it agrees with existing Enneagram theory, where it diverges, and why Dan Siegel prefers talking about patterns rather than fixed personality types.

If you've heard about PDP but haven't wanted to tackle a 400-page book, this episode is your quick-start guide.

📅 Tuesday, June 9

🕢 7:30 PM Eastern / 5:30 PM Mountain / 4:30 PM Pacific

📖 Discussion Topic: Atlas of the Heart, Chapter 1 — Places We Go When Things Are Uncertain or Too Much

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In this Reading Room episode, Jeff continues our summer study of Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, exploring the emotions and experiences that emerge when life feels uncertain, overwhelming, or simply too much.

Drawing connections between Brown’s research and the Enneagram, this discussion covers stress, overwhelm, anxiety, worry, avoidance, fear, dread, and vulnerability—and asks what these experiences might be trying to teach us.

Topics include:

• The relationship between stress, coping, and Enneagram movement
• Why overwhelm may require something different than more effort
• The distinction between anxiety, worry, and fear
• How personality shapes emotional experience
• Vulnerability as courage rather than weakness
• The ongoing conversation between head, heart, and body

Jeff and Katie continue their exploration of the numbers that sit beside each type, uncovering how neighboring types share underlying emotional patterns, coping strategies, and ways of moving through the world.

They discuss why wings may be more useful for self-awareness than personal growth, the role of instincts and subtypes in Enneagram study, and the surprising similarities between Sixes and Sevens as they manage anxiety.

The conversation then turns to the dynamic relationship between Sevens and Eights: adventure, challenge, disruption, leadership, independence, and the pursuit of a life fully lived. Why do these types seem drawn toward bigger experiences? What happens when feeling takes a back seat? And what gifts emerge when they learn to bring others along for the journey?