This highly informative episode focuses on how the trauma of fire loss, specifically the Eaton Fire, is affecting children and their parents, and how parents can help their kids manage. (I apologize for the unbalanced quality of this recording, which didn't manage to accommodate the low tones of Michelle's voice very well, and makes my voice louder.) I loved talking to Michelle because she's so knowledgeable about how to help kids manage after a traumatic experience or other stressful life events. She emphasizes the importance of parents taking care of themselves so they have the emotional stability and regulation to support their children. After a trauma, it's important to have the mental flexibility to be attuned to the different needs of different children, which can be a huge challenge when everyone is stressed. Just like when a death occurs, many parents worry about their kids without realizing that their own grief and stress are affecting the kids. And the kids will often downplay or repress their emotions because they don't want to add to their parents' stress. With compassion, Michelle emphasizes the importance of parents recognizing their own needs and taking care of themselves first, and then addressing their kids' emotional needs, while acknowledging that it's hard and no one is going to do anything perfectly under these circumstances.

Michelle is also a mother of three teens, and her family lived right next to Eaton Canyon until the fires burned their neighborhood. While grateful that her home survived, Michelle's family is still displaced, so she also has firsthand experience with the trauma of the fires on her own life.

If you would like to reach out to Michelle, you can find her website here: https://www.synapse-soul-therapy.com/

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Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

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I always enjoy interviewing men because they tend to have a slightly different attitude about trauma and loss. Falcon and his family of four left their home up in the foothills of Altadena late on January 7 when the smoke was already thick and big embers were violently flying through the air. Their home didn't burn, but they could never go back because of the extensive damage and their landlord's decision to sell.

Falcon is a TK/Kindergarten teacher, so he understands child development and has valuable insights to share. But on January 7th, he was in survival mode. He didn't think about the effects on his kids of leaving their home in the middle of the night, not knowing if they'd ever come back again.

We talked about the gamut of losses, including our favorite hiking trails and the beauty and former vitality of the Altadena community. We all know Altadena will come back, but it will be different, and it will be a long time before people rebuild, and schools and businesses reopen. We had a great discussion about resilience and watching the students of Elliot Arts, whose school burned down, perform Shrek at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles. It was an incredible experience to see the community come together to support kids who lost their school, and many of whom also lost homes.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack to receive bi-weekly episodes and occasionally a newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I speak with two parents who lost their home in the Eaton Fire. Daryl and Jessica both teach in the community, so I was eager to find out how they see the kids in our area recovering from the destruction of their homes, schools, neighborhoods, and communities. They shared their unique experience of discovering their house was gone and processing the shock of seeing so many houses destroyed overnight. But they consider themselves lucky and are optimistic about what the future holds for their beloved Altadena. At the same time, they both expressed deep sadness over what has been lost and the many families for whom rebuilding may prove to be too challenging to pull off.

I was especially interested to hear how Jessica and Daryl's different schools rose to the occasion and managed to support the kids and families who were directly affected by the fires. Jessica teaches in Pasadena Unified School District, and Daryl is in neighboring La Canada, an affluent district just west of Altadena. I was very happy to hear that, as teachers, they felt supported and were impressed by how well their communities and schools worked together to support everyone who needed it.

We talked about the importance of working together to rebuild Altadena with special attention to community members who were residents long before it became a hot real estate market and are struggling to afford to rebuild. We mentioned a project called, "Voices From The Ground," organized by @altagether91001 (Instagram) and supported by My Tribe Rise and the NAACP Pasadena.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack receive bi-weekly episodes, and an occasional newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Staci Mitchell has lived in Altadena all her life, but in this conversation she explains that it wasn't until the media coverage of the recent fires that she understood she and her family are at the center of the historic Black community there. Staci is a semi-retired professor of Pan-African Studies at CalState LA, as well as a playwright, yoga instructor, and all-around creative force. She talks about her and her husband's ancestors who came to Altadena during the Great Migration and how many of their extended family and their children still live in the area. So when Staci lost her home, many of her family members were also displaced. But she was quickly reminded of just how resilient her community is and how supported it has been by the larger Black community, as well as the global human community, who showed up with tangible support and action.

We talked about her teenage son's reaction to the fires and how she navigated supporting him as well as herself and her whole family. I was struck by Staci's responses to the fires: The way she stayed calm as the fires raged and focused on figuring out what's next, once she understood her house was gone. Everyone responds to trauma and loss differently, but I loved Staci's immediate focus on recovery, centering, and healing.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack to receive bi-weekly episodes and occasionally a newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is a slight pivot from this season on the wildfires in Los Angeles because I felt I needed to do something in response to the protests and injustices happening right now. I had no idea when I interviewed Ed Robinson this morning that I would be staying up late to publish it tonight, but I found him so insightful and very helpful in this moment. Ed and I connected over podcasting and a mutual interest in grief, but Ed is a lifelong community organizer who has lived in L.A. all his life and was around during the Watts riots of 1965 and the protests after the acquittal of four police officers who were caught on video beating Rodney King in 1992. The protests right now are very different: They are largely peaceful and ongoing in reaction to the continued violence committed by law enforcement on the protesters and the abductions and detentions by ICE that are tearing families apart. But it's useful to look back on these previous historical turning points to understand what's happening today and to listen to elders like Ed, who has lived through them and helped his community respond. When I asked Ed how he was personally dealing with what's going on he said, "I wake up every morning asking myself who I can help today." When we all do that, we can prevail over the hate and senseless violence being done to our communities.

Ed mentioned the Compton Initiative, which you can learn more about at JustDoGood.Org

Ed has worn many hats including hosting a public access cable TV show, being a pastor at two different churches in Compton, being a podcaster, and most recently becoming a life coach. You can find Ed on Instagram @connectwithed. I also recommend his podcast @deependwithed.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack to receive bi-weekly episodes and occasionally a newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

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I'm so pleased to be able to share this deeply moving interview with Erin O'Toole-Delawari, a teacher and mother of four who lost her home in January when the Eaton Fire tore through her neighborhood. Erin is so thoughtful in her explanation of what happened to her and her family, their trauma responses, and her understanding of those responses now. It's an incredible story of what happens in a natural disaster and how Erin, as a mother and a teacher, carried the responsibility of caring for children and pets in a moment of having no control over what's happening. She talks about going back in the morning while Altadena was still burning, and how they could feel the heat from inside their car, and what it was like to see their home as it smoldered after it burned down. We often hear the word "indescribable" when people talk about grief, but Erin does an amazing job of telling this story in a way that makes me feel I was there. I was also deeply moved by how Erin talked to her students, all of whom were traumatized, about what they all went through.

Listening to Erin was very healing for me, as someone who lives close to Altadena and has felt a lot of that communal grief in the months since the fires. I felt validated by the way she described what she did as they were evacuating. It gives me some insight into my planning around such terrible events.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack to receive bi-weekly episodes and occasionally a newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's episode is an interview with my brother and sister-in-law, Jen and Ted Muller, who lived through the 2018 Camp Fire, the deadliest and most destructive fire in California history. Ted was working in Paradise, CA, as an ER doctor when the fire broke out, and he narrowly escaped. Meanwhile, Jen was an hour and a half away, knowing Ted was in danger, but with no way to contact him. I wanted to ask them about this harrowing experience and how they explained it to their three kids, who were still pretty young. Jen and Ted returned to Paradise to help the community in the aftermath of the fire and saw firsthand the beauty of a community coming together in the face of a horrible disaster. I loved hearing them talk about how they found support and when they needed it, and were able to support others once the fires were out.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack to receive bi-weekly episodes and occasionally a newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Season Three, a shorter season devoted to exploring how families and kids respond to the grief associated with fire losses. Laurel Braitman is the best-selling author of Animal Madness and What Looks Like Bravery, the latter of which is a memoir about losing her father when she was a teen, then her family home in a fire when she was an adult, and soon after that, her mother to cancer. Laurel knows a lot about adolescent grief and fire loss, so I knew she'd be a great guest to kick off this season devoted to the recent wildfires in Los Angeles. Laurel shares deeply about the loss of her father and how her coping mechanisms of striving for excellence in all things didn't end up serving her very well as she matured. Losing the family ranch in a wildfire brought some things into focus, and she was able to support her mother at the end of her mother's life. I learned a lot from this conversation about how such different types of losses were inextricably linked in Laurel's life. Being a writer, she's articulate and insightful about the various strands of grief and how they've become part of her story.

To hear another interview with Laurel about fire loss, I recommend her interview on rebuilding after fire with Slate's, "How To" podcast.

If you would like to support this show, please subscribe to my Substack to receive bi-weekly episodes and occasionally a newsletter in your inbox. You can also support the show monetarily by becoming a paid subscriber there.

Special thanks to Josephine Wiggs for the song "Time Does Not Bring Relief" from her album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.