This conversation covers a lot of ground. Ben’s journey starts in Canada, where he struggled with mental health issues that he treated with drugs and alcohol. That was fun at first, but as often happens, it soon led to fun with problems and then just problems. When he moved to Los Angeles to pursue his dream, he brought his addiction with him, and life became a nightmare. After passing out on a street corner, Ben knew he had to make a change, and he ended up in a rehab in Texas.

Sobriety hasn’t been a smooth ride, but with hard work, willingness, and support, Ben is changing his life, and now he helps other addicts. We also talk honestly about relapse, “marijuana maintenance” and the seedier side of the rehab business.

Key Topics & Themes Discussed:

Mental Health: Many people have a “dual diagnosis” or are self-medicating or both.

Life on Life’s Terms: means facing pain without numbing it.

Community is Essential: Recovery is both personal and social.

Relapse: Recovery requires accountability, but shame shouldn’t keep you from coming back from a slip or a relapse.

California Sober: Ben doesn’t think “marijuana maintenance” is for him, but acknowledges different paths work for different people.

Working in Recovery: Helping people get sober can be rewarding, but there is a dark side to the business

Getting Sober Early: The challenges and rewards of stopping as a young person.

Memorable Quotes:

“I remember thinking… this is the best thing I’ve ever experienced. You just drink something and suddenly you’re chemically happy.”

“There’s real beauty in realizing: I don’t have a good life. Because that’s when you can finally change it.”

“Finding a good AA meeting is like dating—you’ve got to try a bunch before you find the right one.”

“I just wanted something to fix me… but I had to actually fight for it.”

“You can’t control what other people do. You can only control what you do with your own life.”

“Recovery isn’t just the steps—you need non-toxic people in your life too.”

“I can’t do any work on myself if I’m high. I’m just avoiding feeling.”

“Sometimes you have to stop caring about other people’s approval to find your people.”

“Relapse isn’t something to shame—but staying sober does take work.”

In this episode, John and Jason talk to David, who lays out his story of addiction and recovery so directly and simply that it’s easy to forget just how incredible it is. Part of it is his deep, gravelly voice, which was made for podcasting (he doesn’t do that professionally…yet). But mostly it’s his honesty.

From huffing paint thinner at an early age to daily marijuana use in middle school, David’s addictions led to a stint in rehab before he graduated high school. He relapsed after a year but got sober again at 18 and abstained from drugs and alcohol for 21 years.

But that’s not the whole story. While he was building a life that looked good on the outside, he was still miserable inside. He’d stopped taking the cocaine and booze that made living with his internal darkness tolerable, but he still had a black hole that he hadn’t dealt with, and eventually he relapsed again, and this time he used for 12 years.

Rock bottom hit him hard, and he came back to himself, this time with a desperation that motivated him to be honest, open-minded, and willing to do whatever it took. The results were not instantaneous, but they are miraculous. From psychosis to clarity and from a restraining order to loving reconciliation, David is an inspiring example of a person who surrendered completely and was rewarded with a life beyond his wildest dreams.

Quotes

• “I always kind of felt separate and apart from my family and from others. So when the opportunity came along, I met an older kid in the neighborhood, and I started to experiment with huffing substances.”
• “How does this bitch know I’m miserable?”
• “I mean, it's just like the all-American deal. Met a girl, got married, had a kid, bought a house, got a job. All these cool things happen. But the thing that didn't change deep inside was me fundamentally, I was still this miserable, broken human being with no idea how to live.”
• “I was basically in a gutter… and you’re telling me I’ll get a life beyond my wildest dreams.”
• “For the first time in my life, I finally chose character over comfort.”
• “There is no difference between emotional abuse and physical abuse.”
• “I was no longer alone and separate.”
• “I learned how to be the person I wanted to be.”

Themes

Early Emotional Disconnection Addiction isn’t just about substances. It’s about trying to fix that “separate and apart” feeling before you even have words for it.

Relapse as Unfinished Business: His relapse after 21 years wasn’t random. It was the bill for work he never did coming due.

The Unwelcome Gift of Desperation as Catalyst: Hitting absolute bottom is what made him willing to change.

Accountability and Moral Repair. This is where the real change happens, not in slogans.

Community as Antidote to Isolation: Fellowship replaces the “hole.” Not perfectly, but enough to make life livable.

Spirituality as Practice, Not Theory: Less “divine lightning bolt,” more daily habits that slowly rewire behavior.

For more details on recovery resources, please visit RTFB.com

This is a harrowing story of pain, addiction, recovery, relapse, and redemption. As a child, Serena developed deep feelings of worthlessness, isolation, and emotional pain after losing her father to suicide, her step-father to murder, and suffering childhood sexual abuse. She found ease and comfort from her trauma in drugs and alcohol at an early age. Heavy partying through her twenties started out fun but eventually led to serious consequences, including bad relationships, arrests, fires, and suicide attempts. Finally desperate and hopeless, she committed to getting sober and found a way to keep clean, rebuild her relationships, and help other people.

Key Topics & Themes Discussed:

• Generational Trauma - Father was an alcoholic and died by suicide when she was three.
• Sexual Abuse - A victim of sexual assault as a child and as a young adult, Serena now works to help victims recover.
• Victimhood - Serena no longer pities herself as a victim. Now she finds strength as a survivor.
• Repairing Relationships - Serena is rebuilding relationships with her children and her mother.
• Community - Serena found a home with her Tribe and is learning about the culture of her ancestors
• Relapse and Recovery - After 4 years, Serena struggled with pain meds but found her community welcomed her back with open arms.

Memorable Quotes:

• "I was very comfortable in trauma… it was the only life I knew.”
• “I thought I could drink responsibly… ignoring 20 years of consequences.”
• “I don’t invite God into my day, I invite myself into God’s day. I don’t tell my God how big my problems are—I tell my problems how big my God is.”
• ”My dad was my native side. And so when he died, that died with him. And so in sobriety, coming back and living on the reservation here, I've got to have a new world opened up to me about what my culture is.”
• “If I like something a little, I’m going to love it to death.”

For more details on recovery resources, please visit RTFB.com