We talk about Book 5! That is, the travel episode where Ax wants to go back to his home planet despite discovering the joy of Cinnabon, social anxiety pets are or are not real, and Dracon beam technology is insanely confusing. Also, Alex gets coughed on at an airport, Patrick yells at kids for fishing, being a middle-aged person is basically being an Animorph, and sometimes we even understand each other's jokes?

TIME STAMPS:

7:41 - Book Talk

1:01:33 - Closing Segment: Power Rankings

The boys read the worst book ever written, Vegemorphs. It's a parody of Animorphs, but oh golly, what a slog. Plus, a guest that's pretty special.

TIME STAMPS:

8:31 - Main Content

We talk about Book 4! That is, the Animorphs hear a mysterious brain magic message coming from the ocean and take their sweet time to go check it out, the ethical questions about morphing into an animal, and would we even be able to sleep on a whale? Also Jurassic World's vendetta against one woman in particular, or maybe just all audiences, kids have way too many choices in tv shows and movies, and Disney goes punk!

TIME STAMPS:

10:31 - Book Talk

1:09:34 - Closing Segment: Explore That Lore

The boys discuss the dark side of Matthew Broderick fandom, a cool Good Charlotte vinyl album, and starting our own film festival, as well as doing a snake draft of our top movies from 1996, the year Animorphs came out! Who will get "Independence Day"? Who will get "James and the Giant Peach"? More importantly, DO ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY WANT EACH OTHERS' FILMS??

TIME STAMPS:

10:17 - Main Content

We talk about Book 3! That is, Tobias is sad about the consequences of being trapped as a bird, the Yeerks use a giant invisible spaceship to steal water from a lake, a gun-toting hawk shoots a spaceship, everybody panics about almost being trapped as wolves right in front of Tobias, and potential Yeerk Pool pranks? Also, Patrick meets an adult who did not know Silent Hill was a video game, Metal Gear Solid was very tough, and wach out for jury duty scams!

TIME STAMPS:

7:40 - Book Talk

57:00 - Closing Segment: Roundtable Topics

The boys read "Welcome to Sand Hands!" a pre-AI "A computer wrote this for me" adventure in which you get to choose your own path! That awkward description is to prevent legal action from the CYOA series of books. Anyway, it's a nonsensical multi-path adventure just in time for A ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY! So snuggle up with someone you're into, and listen to this adventure! ADVENTURE!

TIME STAMPS:

6:46 - Main Content

We talk about Book 2! That is, Rachel has a friend outside of the group, Visser Three gets in touch with his inner feline, teenagers hang out awkwardly in people's yards, not all voluntary Controllers are jerks, trying to exploit morphing technology, and is there ever a plan? Also roller rinks do still genuinely exist (probably), kids can make gold whenever they want, and some stuff happens in 1996!

TIME STAMPS:

6:19 - Book Talk

56:10 - Closing Segment: This Month In History

The boys review the first 2 episodes (a 2-parter!) of the Animorphs TV show. What can these show producers do with such a crazy-low budget? How can 20-year-olds still attend high school? Why is everyone so awkward when they interact? How good are these digital effects? Most importantly, why does this show exist?

TIME STAMPS:

4:55 - Main Content