In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Simon Woodroffe, the founder of Yo Sushi and Yotel, and a former dragon on Dragon's Den. Simon shares his journey from a headstrong entrepreneur with little formal education to a leader who values connection and rapport in business. He reflects on the challenges of navigating relationships in the entrepreneurial world and emphasizes the importance of building goodwill and trust. The discussion touches on personal development, the significance of emotional connections in leadership, and the cultural differences in service and teamwork. Simon also shares pivotal moments in his life that led to his transformation, highlighting the necessity of self-love and respect in fostering meaningful relationships. This episode is a rich exploration of leadership, personal growth, and the evolving nature of business in today's world.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Vision and Imagination: Having a clear vision and the ability to imagine what you want to achieve is crucial for success in entrepreneurship. This vision helps guide decisions and actions toward achieving goals.

2. Importance of Relationships: Building rapport and maintaining good relationships with others is essential in business. Creating goodwill allows for more effective collaboration and can lead to better outcomes.

3. Personal Growth and Self-Trust: Trusting oneself is foundational for being able to lead and inspire others. Personal development, including overcoming challenges and learning to love oneself, is key to becoming a more effective leader.

4. Balancing Drive and Connection: While being driven and focused on results is important, it is equally vital to connect with people on an emotional level. This balance can lead to greater collaboration and success in business endeavors.

5. Learning from Experience: The journey of entrepreneurship often involves learning from mistakes and adapting one's approach over time. Embracing the lessons from past experiences can lead to personal and professional growth.

BEST MOMENTS

1. "I always used to say, you know, business is easy. It's people that are difficult." - Simon Woodroffe

2. "If you can imagine what something is, or what you want to get to, you've got a chance of getting there." - Simon Woodroffe

3. "I think the bank of goodwill is a very good way to put it." - Simon Woodroffe

4. "You can't really trust other people until you can trust yourself." - Simon Woodroffe

5. "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." - Simon Woodroffe

SOCIAL LINKS

www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org

www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk

www.workplacehuddle.com

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria welcomes lawyer and mediator Alex Dunlop, an expert in international dispute resolution. The conversation delves into the complexities of workplace conflicts, particularly at senior management levels, exploring common pitfalls such as pride, ego, and miscommunication. Alex shares insights from his extensive experience, emphasizing the importance of transparency and the often-overlooked psychological aspects of conflict, including the impact of media scrutiny and social dynamics reminiscent of schoolyard behavior. The discussion also touches on the challenges of power imbalances in mediation and the need for empathy and understanding in resolving disputes. With a blend of humor and wisdom, Alex and Maria highlight the inevitability of conflict and the potential for positive outcomes through effective communication and mediation strategies.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Common Causes of Conflict: Pride, ego, and miscommunication are often the primary drivers of conflict in workplace settings. Senior individuals may become entrenched in their positions due to fear of losing face, making resolution more challenging.

2. Impact of Perception vs. Reality: There is often a significant gap between how individuals perceive the consequences of conflict (e.g., fearing job loss) and the actual reality, which may not be as dire. This misperception can exacerbate anxiety and defensiveness.

3. Role of Transparency: A lack of transparency in communication can lead to catastrophization, where individuals fill information gaps with worst-case scenarios. Providing clear, honest communication can alleviate fears and reduce conflict.

4. Power Imbalance in Mediation: When mediating conflicts involving power imbalances, it is crucial to separate organizational hierarchy from individual disputes. Focusing on the personal dynamics between the parties can help address the underlying issues more effectively.

5. Conflict as a Natural Part of Life: Conflict is an inevitable aspect of human interaction, and rather than viewing it solely as negative, it can be seen as an opportunity for growth and understanding. Acknowledgment and empathy are often more desired outcomes than punitive measures.

BEST MOMENTS

1. "I think the answers usually are pretty simple, aren't they? Certainly pride and ego, for sure. That's probably my top two." - Alex Dunlop

2. "Whenever there's a gap in information, the human... we fill that gap with the worst case scenario." - Alex Dunlop

3. "I think a lot of fear of scapegoating in those type of organizations, particularly at very, very senior levels." - Alex Dunlop

4. "I think conflict's absolutely inevitable. The world would be a very, very dull place without it." - Alex Dunlop

5. "Nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks, right, I'm going to go and make somebody's life really miserable." - Alex Dunlop

SOCIAL LINKS

www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org

www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk

www.workplacehuddle.com

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria welcomes the esteemed Murray Steele, a seasoned expert with over 30 years of experience as a non-executive director and chair of various boards. Murray shares his insights on the complexities of board dynamics, particularly the role of conflict in fostering productive discussions. He emphasizes the importance of non-executive directors in challenging executive mindsets and stimulating necessary debates, especially during crises. Throughout the conversation, they explore the delicate balance between generating constructive conflict and maintaining healthy relationships within the boardroom. Murray also discusses the qualities that make an effective non-executive director and the significance of preparation and emotional intelligence in navigating difficult conversations. This episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for anyone interested in board governance and conflict resolution.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Conflict as a Tool for Clarity: Sometimes, generating conflict can be necessary for non-executive directors to challenge executives and bring attention to critical issues, especially in crisis situations. However, it should be approached with caution and not for personal gain.

2. Role of Non-Executive Directors: Non-executive directors are expected to provide oversight and bring diverse perspectives to the board. They should challenge the fixed mindsets of executives and encourage discussions that lead to better decision-making.

3. Judgment and Preparation: Effective non-executive directors must exercise good judgment when initiating difficult conversations. Preparing the ground beforehand by discussing contentious issues with other board members can help mitigate potential conflicts.

4. Constructive Engagement: Maintaining a constructive approach during debates is crucial. Non-executive directors should aim to foster healthy discussions rather than engage in ego-driven arguments, which can lead to a dysfunctional board.

5. Understanding Human Dynamics: Recognizing the emotional triggers and personalities of fellow board members is essential. Building relationships and understanding individual sensitivities can help navigate uncomfortable discussions more effectively.

BEST MOMENTS

1. "Sometimes to get the attention of the relevant people... the only way is to really stir things up in a kind of conflict sense by being provocative." - Murray Steele

2. "It's part of the role of a non-executive... to see things differently." - Murray Steele

3. "A good board has good debate, with robust challenge from the non-execs." - Murray Steele

4. "The only time you get into uncomfortable is when you're in crisis... where people cannot ignore the facts." - Murray Steele

5. "If you can be constructive, the chances of you having a relationship to develop beyond a conflict situation are much higher." - Murray Steele

SOCIAL LINKS

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria invites her husband, David, a mediator and former managing director of a three-generation family business, to share his journey through the complexities of family dynamics and workplace conflict. David reflects on the contrasting leadership styles of his grandfather and father, highlighting the challenges of navigating a business steeped in tradition while adapting to modern demands. The conversation delves into the toxic undercurrents of unresolved family disputes that permeated the workplace, revealing how personal struggles often manifest in professional settings. As David recounts his transformative experience in mediation training, he emphasises the importance of understanding the human condition in business, advocating for joy and fulfillment in leadership. The episode culminates in a poignant reminder that a business is a reflection of its leaders, urging them to reflect on the joy and purpose behind their work.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Generational Business Dynamics: The evolution of a family business can reveal significant differences in leadership styles across generations, such as the contrast between a charismatic, risk-taking founder and a more systematic, stability-focused successor.

2. Impact of Personal Issues on Work: Personal emotional difficulties often manifest in workplace conflicts, highlighting the importance of understanding the human experiences behind professional interactions.

3. The Importance of Communication: Effective communication is crucial in managing diverse psychologies within a business. Recognising and accommodating different perspectives can lead to better collaboration and conflict resolution.

4. Humanity in Business: A successful business environment requires acknowledging the human condition, where employees are seen as whole individuals rather than mere cogs in a machine. This approach fosters a more supportive and productive workplace.

5. Joy and Fulfillment in Work: Leadership should reflect on whether their work brings joy and fulfillment. If the work environment feels painful or unfulfilling, it may be time to reassess and initiate meaningful conversations to improve the situation.

BEST MOMENTS

1. "The underlying conflicts were highly toxic, lasted generations, never went away. They never got resolved." - David

2. "What I learned from the mediation is there was another language to life." - David

3. "If you go out into the world and you talk to people, it isn't always going to work. In fact, it often isn't going to work." - David

4. "A business is always a reflection of its leaders, always, whether they like it or they don't." - David

5. "If what you're doing isn't joyful, if you don't get up in the morning and think, wow, isn't this great?" - David

SOCIAL LINKS

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE introduces the second series of All Things Conflict, focusing on the critical role of leadership in navigating workplace dynamics. Building on insights from the first series, which explored various perspectives within workplaces, this new series aims to delve into the experiences of directors, senior leadership teams, and entrepreneurs. The host emphasizes the importance of open conversations about potential challenges and conflicts that may arise as businesses evolve, highlighting the need for proactive communication strategies. By addressing the often-ignored "unsaid conversations," the episode sets the stage for discussions on how to manage conflict creatively and constructively. Listeners can look forward to insights from a diverse lineup of guests, including a family business managing director, a seasoned trainer for non-executive directors, and a well-known workplace mediator, all sharing their experiences and strategies for effective leadership in the face of conflict.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Focus on Leadership: The new series will explore leadership dynamics, including the roles of directors, senior leadership teams, and entrepreneurs, emphasizing how leadership sets the tone for organizational culture and conflict.

2. Importance of Open Conversations: It is crucial to have open discussions about potential challenges and conflicts that may arise in a business setting, rather than avoiding difficult conversations that can lead to resentment and eventual breakdowns in communication.

3. Navigating Messiness: The journey of achieving business goals is often messy, and it is important to establish how team members will communicate and support each other during challenging times, including coping with personal traumas that may surface.

4. Proactive Conflict Management: Planning for unsaid conversations and establishing policies or procedures for addressing conflicts can help organizations manage issues before they escalate, likened to "putting in the plumbing" to ensure effective communication channels.

5. Conflict as a Resource: Embracing conflict as a natural part of organizational life can lead to creativity and innovation, rather than viewing it solely as a negative force that needs to be avoided.

BEST MOMENTS

1. "In this series, I really want to look at leadership... because the leadership sets the tone."

2. "What happens if it doesn't progress in the way we'd like to? How will we talk to each other about that?"

3. "Are we just going to let our fears and resentments just build up very quietly... and then wait for the inevitable explosion to happen?"

4. "The chances are there are things about each other that we haven't yet examined or explored."

5. "What I've learned by rejecting the adversarial approach to conflict... is that actually it is the biggest free resource that we have for becoming creative."

SOCIAL LINKS

www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org

www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk

www.workplacehuddle.com

HOST BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

To conclude this series of All Things Conflict: Workplaces, Maria Arpa MBE reflects on the key insights shared by various guests regarding workplace conflict. Maria introduces the metaphor of "plumbing" to illustrate the importance of having effective systems in place for navigating human interactions, suggesting that meaningful conversations are essential for any task or goal. The episode encourages listeners to foster connections and maintain ongoing dialogue about culture change in workplaces. Additionally, the host shares resources for further engagement, including their website and a charity focused on conflict resolution.

Key Takeaways

1. Escalation of Conflict: Conflict can easily escalate due to judgment, blame, and poor communication, highlighting the importance of managing these dynamics effectively.

2. Human Connection: Successful interactions and conflict resolution begin with establishing a human connection, as no task or goal can be achieved without effective conversation.

3. Importance of Communication Systems: The systems and processes in place for navigating human interactions are crucial for managing conflict and fostering a positive workplace culture.

4. Cultural Change: Changing workplace culture is a gradual process that requires ongoing conversation and connection among individuals.

5. Resources for Support: There are various resources available for those interested in conflict resolution and cultural change, including personal websites and charitable organizations focused on peaceful solutions.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE sits down with James Ellis, a coach and coach trainer who specialises in enhancing workplace dynamics across various sectors, including education and private equity. James shares valuable insights on the importance of effective communication and the role of coaching in fostering a positive workplace culture. He emphasises the significance of upfront conversations, or "contracting," to prevent conflicts and improve interactions among team members. The discussion also explores how individuals can shift from a fear-based mindset to one rooted in values, ultimately leading to more constructive relationships. Listeners are encouraged to adopt practical strategies, such as replacing the word "why" with "what" in conversations and distinguishing between facts and perceptions, to enhance their communication skills and navigate workplace challenges more effectively.

Key Takeaways

1. Quality of Interactions: The quality of our interactions directly influences the quality of our outputs. Engaging in meaningful conversations about how we will communicate can prevent conflicts and misunderstandings in the workplace.

2. Contracting and Designing Conversations: Establishing upfront agreements about how to handle feedback and interactions can mitigate potential conflicts. This includes discussing how to give and receive feedback constructively.

3. Curiosity Over Assumptions: Approaching conversations with curiosity rather than judgment can lead to more productive outcomes. Instead of asking "why," which can imply blame, asking "what happened" fosters a more open dialogue.

4. Understanding Perspectives: Recognizing that each individual may have a different perspective on the same situation is crucial. Engaging in conversations to uncover these perspectives can help avoid assumptions and build better relationships.

5. Values vs. Fears: Encouraging individuals to operate from their values rather than their fears can enhance their interactions and decision-making processes. This shift in mindset can lead to more positive and constructive workplace dynamics.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

This episode of 'All Things Conflict' is completely different to what you will hear anywhere else. Today Maria Arpa MBE engages in a LIVE case study. From this episode YOU will learn how Maria would navigate a tough conversation within the workplace and what steps she would take to make sure the conflict is as minimal as possible.

Key Takeaways

1. Addressing Behavior with Compassion: It's important to approach difficult conversations with empathy and clarity, ensuring that the employee understands the issue while feeling supported rather than attacked.

2. Encouraging Self-Awareness: Employees should be encouraged to reflect on their behavior and its impact on the workplace. Self-awareness can lead to better decision-making and improved interactions with colleagues.

3. Setting Clear Boundaries: Establishing boundaries around workplace behavior is crucial. Employees should understand the difference between friendly interactions and those that may disrupt productivity or create discomfort among colleagues.

4. Promoting Open Communication: Encouraging a culture where employees feel comfortable addressing issues directly with one another can prevent misunderstandings and foster a more cohesive work environment.

5. Monitoring Progress and Accountability: Regular follow-ups are essential to ensure that the employee is making the necessary changes. Accountability helps reinforce the importance of adhering to workplace standards and expectations.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/