Andy gifts Kyle a children’s book with a very unfortunate title — “My Owner Beats Me” — and what follows is an unhinged, dramatic reading of a not-so-innocent dog story. From colon cleanse disasters to grocery shopping meltdowns, allergic cats and kids’ side hustles, the guys spiral into a mix of bodily regrets, domestic chaos and nostalgic dad talk.

Plus, they try (and fail) to call their friend Cameron on his birthday, reminisce about Bo Burnham’s Inside and plot Andy’s midlife drift-car phase. It’s another wild, too-honest night with the Absinthe Fathers.

Streamer chaos meets dad-life confessions. Andy and Kyle welcome their internet-degenerate friend Jordan for a rapid-fire hang about Twitch culture (subs vs. bits, “F***ed Up Friday,” Rocket League humbling), the cursed “six seven” meme invading elementary schools, and whether spanking actually works (spoiler: no). We also get Andy’s unbelievable armored-car “marksmanship” story and a P. Diddy trivia game that goes completely off the rails. It’s unfiltered, funny, occasionally heartfelt, and very… Absinthe Fathers.

Guest: Jordan — nightly Twitch streamer and Rocket League masochist. Check him out at twitch.tv/jrdnnofficial

Kyle is officially a married man—and the Absinthe Fathers have stories. From wedding speeches gone off the rails (including a fake ChatGPT-written bit) to ring talk, tattoos, roasts that never happened, and a few surprises at the reception, Andy and Kyle break down the chaos and comedy of the big day. Plus: Jordan passes out, Cameron stirs drama with the wedding coordinator, and the guys debate who would win a hot dog sprint—Usain Bolt or Joey Chestnut. This is one of the tamest episodes yet… but that’s not saying much.