ADHD Women: The High Cost of Being a “Pleasant Child”

In this vulnerable episode, I open up about something I’ve only recently started to fully unpack: how my colicky infancy may have been the beginning of my lifelong masking as a woman with ADHD.

What happens when the only way we feel loved is by being quiet, easy, and accommodating?

We’ll talk about early emotional abandonment, attachment patterns, and the cost of becoming "the good girl." I also dive into why so many ADHD women disconnect from their bodies, needs, and authentic self—and what we can do to begin reclaiming who we truly are.

If you’ve ever felt drained by over-functioning, perfectionism, or trying to be palatable to others, this episode will hit home.

—⏱️—CHAPTERS—⏱️—

00:00 Introduction: Unpacking Masking and ADHD

00:46 Early Childhood and Masking Origins

01:10 Welcome to the Podcast

01:52 Personal Stories and Family Dynamics

03:40 The Impact of Early Experiences

06:34 ADHD and Societal Expectations

09:20 Navigating Adulthood with ADHD

15:25 Reclaiming Authenticity and Self-Love

28:04 Introducing the Journal Book Experience

31:21 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

💛 Want support unmasking and reconnecting with your authentic self? Check out The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD—a journal book experience and ritual kit for coming home to YOU. 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛

Looking for more ways to connect and get ADHD Support?

Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club

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Youtube: @Jenbarnes

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DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.