エピソード

  • ADHD, Divorce, and the Weight of Feeling Misunderstood | Becky Swanson

    ADHD, Divorce, and the Weight of Feeling Misunderstood | Becky Swanson
    2026/10/16

    When something gets forgotten, does it feel like a mistake—or proof that you don’t matter?

    In this episode of ADHD Case Files, Chris Steindorf sits down with certified divorce coach and ordained pastor Becky Swanson to investigate the misunderstandings that can build inside a relationship. Drawing from her own divorce and her work supporting women, Becky shares her perspective on emotional burnout, unequal responsibilities, co-parenting, and rebuilding your identity.

    Together, they explore what happens when childhood labels follow you into marriage, why an outside perspective can reveal patterns you’ve missed, and how to make decisions with your future in mind.

    ● When forgetfulness feels personal: How missed commitments can become tangled with hurt, frustration, and questions about whether a partner cares.

    ● The weight of managing everything: Becky shares what she hears from women who feel responsible for organizing the household and carrying its emotional load.

    ● The childhood labels we bring into relationships: How old beliefs about being difficult, incapable, or disappointing can shape how we see ourselves and interpret conflict.

    ● Parenting after separation: Becky discusses co-parenting, parallel parenting, and the importance of intentional boundaries.

    ● Deciding who you want to become: Why Becky asks clients to picture their lives two to five years after divorce—and use that picture to guide decisions today.

    3 Key Takeaways

    1. Investigate the meaning behind the conflict. One partner may experience a forgotten task as rejection, while the other experiences it differently. Understanding that gap creates a starting point for a more honest conversation.

    2. An outside perspective can reveal patterns you cannot see alone. Becky and Chris discuss how trusted support can help you examine your own contribution to recurring problems.

    3. Let your desired future guide your next decision. Becky encourages clients to consider the peace, security, relationships, and family life they want beyond the immediate conflict.


    “You can’t read the ingredients from inside the jar.”

    —Becky Swanson

    Connect With Becky

    Email: Becky@BeckySwanson.com

    Podcast mentioned in this conversation: Oh Shit, I’m Getting Divorced.

    Contact Becky for current information about her Before You Divorce masterclass.

    Continue Your Investigation

    Get Chris’s free eBook:
    https://adhdcasefiles.com/ebook-5545

    Follow ADHD Case Files for more honest conversations about the patterns behind how we think, feel, and relate.

    Stop guessing. Start investigating.


    Chris Steindorf

    chris@adhdcasefiles.com

    Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

    For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

    https://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    42 分
  • You Can’t Pivot Until You Stop Spinning: ADHD, Resilience & Rewriting Your Story

    You Can’t Pivot Until You Stop Spinning: ADHD, Resilience & Rewriting Your Story
    2026/10/09



    1. The experience behind the 15-Minute Pity Party Pivot. Helen shares how her son’s devastating accident, nearly six months in a burn center, and 42 surgeries inspired a practice for acknowledging pain and finding a way forward.
    2. Allow the feelings, then redirect your attention. Their timer gave frustration a place to be expressed. Afterward, they identified something to be grateful for and focused on the next achievable action.
    3. A late diagnosis can change how you understand your past. You and Helen explore the relief of recognizing that years of struggle don’t prove you’re unintelligent or incapable—and how that understanding opens an investigation into what works for you.
    4. Prepare for setbacks and make the next step smaller. Through athletics, business, and her son’s skydiving experience, Helen illustrates how practicing recovery from mistakes and breaking goals into manageable actions supports progress.
    5. Protect your energy and give yourself grace. The conversation explores taking on other people’s problems, experimenting with personal support strategies, and allowing yourself to learn without constant self-criticism.

    3 Takeaways

    1. Try a structured emotional pause. Borrow Helen’s practice: acknowledge what’s difficult, then identify one thing you appreciate and one action within your control. The timer is a tool, not a deadline for resolving pain.
    2. Shrink the starting point. When a task feels overwhelming, ask: “What is the smallest step I can take right now?”
    3. Check whose problem you’re carrying. Before stepping in, ask: “Is this mine to address—and has this person asked for my help?”

    “You can have 15 minutes every morning. … But we literally set a timer. And at the end of the timer, we said, ‘Okay, that’s it. We got to get on with our day.’”

    — Helen Connors Groom



    Chris Steindorf

    chris@adhdcasefiles.com

    Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

    For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

    https://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    47 分
  • The Labels That Follow Us: How to Build Forward Instead of Living Backward.

    The Labels That Follow Us: How to Build Forward Instead of Living Backward.
    2026/10/02
    1- A struggle should not automatically become an identityOne of the clearest themes is the difference between recognizing where someone is struggling and defining the person by that struggle.Coach T talks about her son’s stuttering and her daughter’s difficulties in school. Her approach was essentially: investigate what’s happening, provide support, but don’t teach the child that the difficulty defines who they are.That fits beautifully with your ADHD Detective concept: observe the evidence without confusing the evidence with the identity.2- Parents have enormous power over which voices their children internalizeCoach T repeatedly returns to planting seeds.Before school, her children repeated Scripture and affirmations about who they were. She wasn’t waiting until somebody damaged their confidence and then trying to repair it. She was deliberately helping establish an internal belief system first.That produced one of the strongest ideas of the episode:If the world is going to give your children labels, make sure they already know who they are.3- Advocacy requires curiosity—not blindly accepting authorityBoth of you share stories about educators making assumptions about your children.The useful lesson isn’t that educators are the enemy. It’s that parents need to remain engaged, ask questions, seek appropriate evaluation when concerns arise, and understand what’s actually happening rather than automatically accepting—or rejecting—a label.Coach T summed up her philosophy simply:“You are your kids’ advocate.”4- The labels we receive as children can become the voice we use against ourselves as adultsThis is where the interview moves beyond parenting and becomes particularly relevant to late-diagnosed adults.You describe how someone can hear something about themselves early in life, internalize it, and then spend years noticing evidence that seems to confirm it.Coach T then connects that to self-talk: eventually, other people don’t even need to repeat the label because we’ve learned to repeat it ourselves.That is one of the deepest themes in this episode.5- You can rewrite the story without pretending the past didn’t happenCoach T’s two-letter exercise is probably the most immediately actionable piece of the episode.Write one letter to your past self:This is what I carried. This is what I believed. This is what no longer gets to control me.Then write another describing who you’re becoming.That leads directly into her philosophy of not merely “bouncing back,” but building forward.3 Key Takeaways1. Question the label before you build an identity around it. A diagnosis, learning difference, mistake, setback, or another person’s judgment can provide information. It doesn’t automatically tell you what you’re capable of becoming.2. What gets repeated internally matters. Coach T intentionally gave her children language about capability, faith and identity. As adults, we can also examine the language we’ve been repeating to ourselves and decide whether it is accurate or useful.3. You can become an active author of what comes next. The past remains part of the case file, but it doesn’t have to dictate the conclusion. Coach T’s message is about acknowledging what happened, deciding what you believe now, and taking deliberate action toward who you’re becoming.“You have to plant the seed for your kid, because if you don’t plant the seed, somebody else is going to sow a seed that is not good for your kids.” — Coach TLinkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanea-montgomery-33132739?utm_source=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=member_iosInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/coachtthenp?stkn=Nmd2MmwzMDdhNjVp&utm_source=qrCoach T’s 30 Days of Empowerment: http://empowerment-strategi.vibepreview.com/Serve From Overflow: http://a.co/d/06CuJpExWebsite: http://clinconfcoach.com/Chris Steindorfchris@adhdcasefiles.comConnect with Chris on your favorite social media platformFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files websitehttps://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    38 分
  • Structure, Not Shame: Helping ADHD Kids Learn

    Structure, Not Shame: Helping ADHD Kids Learn
    2026/09/25

    In this episode of ADHD Case Files, Chris Steindorf sits down with educator, entrepreneur, and learning mentor Richelle Caubang to talk about what ADHD can actually look like in a learning environment—and why the behavior adults see may only be the first clue.

    Richelle shares lessons from working directly with students who struggle with attention, starting assignments, completing work, remembering instructions, restlessness, overwhelm, and shutting down.

    Together, Chris and Richelle explore the power of predictable structure, flexible pacing, breaking overwhelming tasks into smaller steps, movement breaks, repetition, immediate feedback, and recognizing effort rather than simply rewarding correct answers.

    The conversation also becomes personal as Chris recognizes pieces of his own childhood in the students Richelle describes.

    In this episode:

    • Early ADHD-related behaviors adults may overlook
    • Why struggling to begin isn’t necessarily laziness or defiance
    • Structure vs. rigidity
    • How “scaffolding” can support learning
    • Why smaller tasks can reduce overwhelm
    • Repetition, mastery, and frustration
    • Immediate vs. delayed reinforcement
    • Building confidence through evidence of progress
    • The long-term impact of the stories children learn about themselves
    • Why Richelle’s final recommendation comes down to one word: patience

    From Richelle:

    “The structure that we need to create should feel like a scaffold—a support, not a cage.”

    “Shrink the task.”

    “Patience… understanding them, being patient with them, is one of the huge things that you can do.”

    Connect with Richelle Caubang:
    MrsRichelle.com⁠

    Contact: info@mrsrichelle.com


    Chris Steindorf

    chris@adhdcasefiles.com

    Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

    For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

    https://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    55 分
  • What If It’s Not All ADHD?

    What If It’s Not All ADHD?
    2026/09/23
    Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeGet the Free ADHD Detective’s GuideWant to see the testing and nutritional approach Chris used as part of his own investigation?The free ADHD Detective’s Guide goes deeper into the process and helps you begin asking a different question:What have I been calling “just my ADHD” that might be worth investigating?Download the Free ADHD Detective's GuideBook an Investigative InterviewIf something in this episode sounds familiar and you'd like to start connecting the dots in your own story, book an Investigative Interview with Chris using the calendar link below.link.chrissteindorf.com/widget/bookings/schedule-your-discovery-call-n7qjjfI don't have your actual calendar URL in this conversation, so I would not guess at it.Why Blood Testing Got My AttentionOne of the biggest shifts for me was moving from “How do I feel?” to “What can I actually measure?”My first blood test showed an omega-6:omega-3 ratio of approximately 34:1. After following the nutritional approach discussed in my ebook, I retested at approximately 4:1, and a later test was closer to 3:1.Those are my personal test results. They do not establish that changing my fatty-acid profile caused changes in my focus, energy, or brain fog.But they gave me something I had never had before:A baseline. A change I could measure. And a reason to keep investigating.Something worth thinking aboutYou can feel tired.You can experience brain fog.You can struggle to concentrate.You can assume it's ADHD.But you cannot feel your blood fatty-acid levels.That's one reason testing became so interesting to me.Rather than asking only:“How do I feel?”I started asking:“What does the data say?”The Research Behind the Conversation1. More Than 590,000 Blood SamplesA 2025 peer-reviewed study published in Lipids in Health and Disease analyzed more than 590,000 whole-blood dried blood spot samples from around the world.The researchers reported substantial geographic variation and widespread suboptimal omega-3 status. Importantly for this episode, the researchers wrote:“Direct measurement of fatty acid levels in blood provides the most accurate assessment”of fatty-acid status and balance. Read the 2025 dried-blood-spot studyWhy I included it: This supports one of the central ideas behind this episode:Stop guessing. Start measuring.It does not establish that a particular omega-6:3 ratio causes ADHD symptoms.2. Omega-3 Blood Levels and ADHDA 2014 meta-analysis examined nine studies involving 586 participants and found lower overall blood omega-3 levels in people with ADHD compared with controls. Its supplementation analysis included 16 studies and found modest symptom effects, though the evidence was primarily in children. Read the ADHD and omega-3 blood-level meta-analysis on PubMedAnother meta-analysis specifically examining omega-6:omega-3 ratios reported that children and youth with ADHD had higher blood n-6:n-3 and AA/EPA ratios than controls. Read the omega-6:omega-3 ratio and ADHD meta-analysisImportant: Association doesn't mean causation. These studies don't show that an omega imbalance causes ADHD.3. What About Adults With ADHD?This one caught my attention because I was diagnosed as an adult.A systematic review and meta-analysis examining biochemical research in adults with ADHD found lower serum DHA—the omega-3 fatty acid docosahexaenoic acid—in adults with ADHD compared with controls. Other fatty acids examined, including EPA and arachidonic acid, were not significantly different. Read the adult ADHD systematic review on PubMedAgain, this shows an association, not proof that low DHA causes ADHD.4. Does Taking Omega-3 Improve ADHD?This is where the science gets interesting—and complicated.A 2023 meta-analysis combined 22 randomized controlled trials involving 1,789 participants.Overall, omega-3 supplementation did not significantly improve core ADHD symptoms compared with placebo.However, when researchers separately analyzed studies lasting four months or longer, that subgroup showed statistically significant improvement. The researchers cautioned that the subgroup evidence had limitations. Read the 2023 randomized-trial meta-analysis on PubMedWhy include a study that didn't find an overall benefit?Because I'm not interested in proving something I already believe.I'm interested in investigating what's actually true.5. Omega-6:Omega-3 Balance and InflammationA systematic review and meta-analysis of 31 randomized controlled trials investigated lower-ratio omega-6/omega-3 interventions.Researchers found significant reductions in two inflammatory markers—TNF-alpha and IL-6—but did not find a significant reduction in CRP. Read the inflammation meta-analysis on PubMedMore recent research continues to show that this subject is complicated. A 2026 review of 96 clinical trials found EPA+DHA supplementation increased blood EPA+DHA and reported reductions in several inflammatory markers, particularly ...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    18 分
  • They Weren’t Bad Kids—Their Brains Worked Differently | Michelle Hoke

    They Weren’t Bad Kids—Their Brains Worked Differently | Michelle Hoke
    2026/09/18

    A mother watched her child get treated like a behavior problem, fought to understand what was actually happening, and eventually discovered that some of the very traits causing him problems were connected to remarkable abilities.

    • When ADHD behavior is mistaken for bad behavior: Michelle describes her son’s experience beginning in kindergarten, including being disciplined and treated differently because his behavior didn’t fit classroom expectations.
    • A mother becoming her child’s advocate: From requesting a different kindergarten teacher to challenging educators who weren’t following his 504 plan, Michelle explains why she refused to let the school define her son by his behavior.
    • Their family’s experience with ADHD medication: Michelle discusses initially seeing improvement, subsequent dosage increases, and eventually deciding to discontinue medication after feeling that her energetic, curious son had become a “zombie.”
    • Finding structure without crushing curiosity: Michelle explains how she used routines, stayed beside her children during difficult schoolwork, supported their interests, and learned that her children needed different approaches rather than simply more discipline.
    • Seeing the abilities hiding behind the ADHD struggles: From unusually advanced language skills to musical talent that eventually took her children to Carnegie Hall, Michelle describes the intelligence, creativity, rapid connections, and hyperfocus she believes are too often overlooked.

    3 Key Takeaways

    1. Behavior is information.
    A child who can’t sit still, repeatedly loses focus, or reacts differently isn’t automatically choosing to be difficult. Michelle’s story shows why understanding what’s driving a behavior can matter more than simply correcting it.

    2. Accommodation and advocacy can change a child’s experience.
    Michelle didn’t assume that every problem belonged to her son. She questioned whether his environment, teachers, expectations, and accommodations were actually working for him.

    3. ADHD challenges and ADHD strengths can exist at the same time.
    The same children who struggled with conventional school expectations demonstrated extraordinary abilities in other areas. The episode makes a strong case for investigating the whole person, rather than defining someone by the areas where they struggle.


    “ADHD is not the end of the world. It’s actually the beginning of a new world.”
    — Michelle Hoke



    Chris Steindorf

    chris@adhdcasefiles.com

    Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

    For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

    https://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    43 分
  • The Four-Quadrant System: What Deserves Your Attention?

    The Four-Quadrant System: What Deserves Your Attention?
    2026/09/16


    • The hidden problem of too many possibilities — how an ADHD brain can see potential everywhere, and why every opportunity doesn’t deserve your attention.
    • The Four-Quadrant System — filtering decisions through four questions: How do I feel about it? What do I think about it? Does it match what I believe? Does it move me toward my ultimate goal?
    • Excitement versus evidence — why something feeling exciting isn’t enough, and how to investigate the cost, commitment, risk, and potential return before saying yes.
    • Why four yeses still don’t mean yes — learning to limit your major priorities and recognizing that adding something new may require removing something else.
    • Following the evidence beyond ADHD — how the same investigative mindset led to new questions about brain fog, exhaustion, inconsistent focus, blood work, inflammation, and other factors that may contribute to symptoms.

    3 Key Takeaways

    1. Every yes has a cost.
    Time, energy, attention, and focus are limited resources. Choosing one opportunity automatically means giving less of yourself to something else.

    2. Good distractions may be harder to recognize than bad ideas.
    Something can feel right, make logical sense, align with your values—and still not belong in your life right now if it doesn’t move you toward your primary goal.

    3. An answer shouldn’t end the investigation.
    An ADHD diagnosis can explain important parts of someone’s experience without necessarily explaining every symptom. Your transition into blood work and inflammation reinforces the idea of continuing to ask questions and look for evidence rather than making assumptions.

    “I’m not interested in building a successful life that requires me to become someone I don’t respect.”

    -Chris Steindorf


    Chris Steindorf

    chris@adhdcasefiles.com

    Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

    For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

    https://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    16 分
  • The Beliefs Beneath ADHD: Breaking Shame, Overwhelm, and Old Identity Patterns — with DaLynn Moore

    The Beliefs Beneath ADHD: Breaking Shame, Overwhelm, and Old Identity Patterns — with DaLynn Moore
    2026/09/11
    • How childhood ADHD experiences can become lifelong beliefs — DaLynn shares how an early school experience contributed to the belief that she was “dumb,” and how she eventually traced that identity back to its origin and began changing it.
    • Why structure creates freedom for the ADHD brain — From raising seven children to managing her own ADHD, DaLynn explains how schedules and predictability helped move her from constant chaos and fight-or-flight toward greater peace of mind.
    • Identifying and transforming limiting beliefs — DaLynn discusses how subconscious patterns can feel like permanent parts of our personality when they're actually learned responses—and why awareness is the first step toward changing them.
    • The connection between shame, self-talk, and identity — Chris and DaLynn explore the power of “I am” statements, the damage caused by repeatedly labeling ourselves negatively, and how compassionate self-talk can begin changing the internal narrative.
    • Practical tools for calming an overwhelmed ADHD mind — DaLynn shares strategies including routines, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, breath awareness, and using the five senses to get out of the mental “hamster wheel” and back into the present moment.

    3 Key Takeaways

    1. A struggle can become a belief, and a belief can become an identity.
    One of the most important distinctions in the episode is that something you learned to believe about yourself—even decades ago—doesn't necessarily describe who you actually are. DaLynn describes realizing that the belief “I was dumb” was connected to an early experience rather than objective evidence about her ability.

    2. You can't change a pattern you haven't learned to recognize.
    DaLynn describes limiting beliefs as reactions that can become so automatic they feel like personality. Her message is that awareness gives you back choice: notice what repeatedly triggers you, identify the belief underneath it, and then begin working on that belief rather than simply fighting the behavior it produces.

    3. Working with an ADHD brain is more effective than constantly fighting it.
    Structure, mindfulness, routines, and intentionally slowing down aren't about forcing an ADHD brain to become neurotypical. They're tools for creating an environment where the person can function with greater calm, focus, and control. DaLynn describes structure specifically as giving her back “peace of mind.”

    “Talk to yourself like you would someone you love.”

    — DaLynn Moore


    Chris Steindorf

    chris@adhdcasefiles.com

    Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

    For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

    https://adhdcasefiles.com
    続きを読む 一部表示
    47 分