When something gets forgotten, does it feel like a mistake—or proof that you don’t matter?

In this episode of ADHD Case Files, Chris Steindorf sits down with certified divorce coach and ordained pastor Becky Swanson to investigate the misunderstandings that can build inside a relationship. Drawing from her own divorce and her work supporting women, Becky shares her perspective on emotional burnout, unequal responsibilities, co-parenting, and rebuilding your identity.

Together, they explore what happens when childhood labels follow you into marriage, why an outside perspective can reveal patterns you’ve missed, and how to make decisions with your future in mind.

● When forgetfulness feels personal: How missed commitments can become tangled with hurt, frustration, and questions about whether a partner cares.

● The weight of managing everything: Becky shares what she hears from women who feel responsible for organizing the household and carrying its emotional load.

● The childhood labels we bring into relationships: How old beliefs about being difficult, incapable, or disappointing can shape how we see ourselves and interpret conflict.

● Parenting after separation: Becky discusses co-parenting, parallel parenting, and the importance of intentional boundaries.

● Deciding who you want to become: Why Becky asks clients to picture their lives two to five years after divorce—and use that picture to guide decisions today.

3 Key Takeaways

1. Investigate the meaning behind the conflict. One partner may experience a forgotten task as rejection, while the other experiences it differently. Understanding that gap creates a starting point for a more honest conversation.

2. An outside perspective can reveal patterns you cannot see alone. Becky and Chris discuss how trusted support can help you examine your own contribution to recurring problems.

3. Let your desired future guide your next decision. Becky encourages clients to consider the peace, security, relationships, and family life they want beyond the immediate conflict.

“You can’t read the ingredients from inside the jar.”

—Becky Swanson

Connect With Becky

Email: Becky@BeckySwanson.com

Podcast mentioned in this conversation: Oh Shit, I’m Getting Divorced.

Contact Becky for current information about her Before You Divorce masterclass.

Continue Your Investigation

Get Chris’s free eBook:
https://adhdcasefiles.com/ebook-5545

Follow ADHD Case Files for more honest conversations about the patterns behind how we think, feel, and relate.

Stop guessing. Start investigating.

Chris Steindorf

chris@adhdcasefiles.com

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com