Victarion is on monkey island and learning about cool new religions. Tyrion is failing quarantine policies.

Chapters: ADWD The Iron Suitor, Tyrion XI

Outro music: CAFÉ CON RON by Bad Bunny

I don't know... they all want me to write the book but do they even really care about me? I'd rather write the next Dunky novella. They want to make more seasons of that show and I sure like to see that bald child... but they told me I need to finish Winds first. But writing is so hard... and it's my birthday.... maybe I'll kill off Tyrion next. I'm glad I don't have any children so they can't fuck up my legacy. I thought Ryan Condal was my son but now he won't speak to me anymore. My real son is Tyrion anyway.

Chapters: ADWD Cersei I, The Queensguard

Outro music: Cut-Out Witch by Guided by Voices

we go on r/boobs for some reason

Chapters: ADWD Daenerys IX, Jon XI

Outro music: You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette

SIX SEVEN!!!!!!

Chapters: ADWD Daenerys VIII, Theon I

Outro music: Numbers by Kraftwerk

In the time since we set up our tumblr someone has already screenshotted it to call us "stupid incels" and blocked us. This will of course only make us stronger. We also finally get into a much needed discussion of one of George's obsessions: how EXACTLY are nipples measured? Plus: Purge Wedding!

Chapters: ADWD Jaime I, Jon X

Outro music: Bless the Telephone by Labi Siffre

This is the episode where we look at pictures of guys who had botox injected into their nutsacks for cosmetic reasons.

Chapters: ADWD A Ghost in Winterfell, Tyrion X

Outro music: The Vampyre of Time and Memory by Queens of the Stone Age

Everybody thought we were SO CRAZY for accusing big name YouTubers Glidus and Alt Shift X for plagiarizing our famous "Spoiler Zone" segment. Well, it looks like the bit stealing bastards have struck again coming for another one of our beloved retired segments. I have no pleasure in announcing that what could have been a friendly rivalry has now turned into all out War. A couple of powerful influencers backed by the YouTube-industrial complex vs one scrappy podcast - it all comes down to you, dear listener, WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON? We also talk about how hot it is when a woman gets equal pay, and, oh yeah, we also read two chapters of the book!

Chapters: ADWD Jon IX, The Blind Girl

Outro music: Mosquitoes by The Beths

Honestly, George fell off. TWOW might not even be good. It might be bad, if these two chapters are any indication! We'll still keep reading that garbage.

Chapters: ADWD The King's Prize, Daenerys VII

Outro music: Linda Ronstadt - Poor, Poor Pitiful Me