In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now.

Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method: Body And Mind. You’ll learn how to stop shaming your reactions, calm your nervous system, and respond in a healthier way—rather than fear, panic, or reactivity.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of body-based jealousy and emotional spirals.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Jealousy isn’t crazy—it’s a stored survival response from your nervous system

💎 Your body reacts before your brain can even form a thought

💎 BAM = Body And Mind (Breathe, Acknowledge, Move) is your new reset tool

💎 A safer body allows you to choose a better thought

💎 Explaining your nervous system reactions to your partner can build deeper understanding

Key Moments:

• 3:25 – Why jealousy can’t be “thought away” (and why 95% of your reactions aren’t logical)
• 7:17 – The real reason your stomach drops when he texts—and what your nervous system is doing
• 10:28 – Introducing BAM: Why calming your body comes before calming your thoughts
• 15:02 – The “hot stove” analogy to help explain jealousy to your partner
• 19:33 – BAM, defined: Breathe. Acknowledge. Move.
• 24:51 – What to do when your body believes an old wound is happening again
• 27:42 – How to shift into your “choice moment” once your body feels safe

Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Join the next session starting June 18th. Register here
• Watch THIS episode on YouTube
• Shanenn's new podcast:
  • On Apple Lead Without Limits
  • On YouTube Lead Without Limits

Quote of the Episode:

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy, even when “nothing is happening”
• Struggle with reactivity, spiraling thoughts, or reassurance-seeking
• Want to learn nervous system tools to feel safe in their relationship
• Are ready to replace shame with self-compassion and emotional safety
• Are doing the deep work to heal attachment wounds and regulate from the inside out

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.