• The Secret Art of Happiness: Change Your Life with the Reiki Ideals by Geneva Robins - a book with a whole chapter on kindness!
• Kindness Meditation - a gentle meditation to expand all forms of kindness
• Saying No - a blog post on how kind it is to say a beautiful NO
• Reiki Sessions - a big help on getting compassionate support and energy

If you've been in a highly self-critical mode for a while, it can be difficult to shift immediately to kind inner talk. One method that can help is to shift to a neutral statement that you already believe.

Try something like "I am a human being."

Then try "All humans are worthy of kindness."

Before going to "Therefore, I am worthy of kindness because I am a human being."

By shifting into a neutral statement in this way, you activate a gentle space inside that just sidesteps the fight the inner critic puts up when you first try to talk to yourself kindly. You just go around the arguments with a gentle and patient logic.

Sometimes you can flip the statements of the inner critic into their exact opposites to create a new inner dialogue. You can take "You're never good enough" and turn it into "I'm always myself, and who I am is enough."

Sometimes words are not enough. Tiny acts of self-care can go a long way to rebalancing your nervous system. Even something as simple as putting on a cozy sweater or adjusting your body so you're more comfortable can be a sign to your inner self that you are now living your life in a new, self-kind way. These tiny actions prove to your inner child that you will actually take care of yourself.

Almost anything we do is a skill that can be practiced. Gently remind yourself that you are practicing this new skill of self-kindness. Start where you're at and be okay with your progress and slips. It is all a new space, gradually filling with grace as your skills grow.

We learn how to be kind to ourselves from our family and other carers. But if they don't have those skills of emotional regulation, soothing, and reframing thoughts, then they can't teach you.

So now, as an adult, you may be learning kind self-talk skills that you wished you had learned as a child. Be gentle with your progress. It's almost like learning a new language. So be patient and keep practicing even through the mistakes and wobbly first attempts at a new way of relating to yourself.

If you've been surrounded by unkind people and have absorbed their cruel inner talk, it is incredibly helpful to get help from professionals trained who are to hold a compassionate space for you.

Therapy, Reiki, Meditation, Yoga, and other allied health practitioners have spent years and even decades practicing gentle and kind methods that can help you grow your inner kindness.

If in doubt, reach out!

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